Remember That This Is Just A Forum. Real Life Is Out There..
Remember this is just a forum. Real life is out there....
(I am trying to put my thoughts into words as I have a thought concept I must share and if I tried to share it without putting it into word form (Which takes thought), it would come out as a groaning noise which is no good for communication).
I have a thought concept which I am attempting to put into words... First is that this forum can get a false impression of life out there because it is swayed by the loudest voices who have their own politically correct slant, and ok. That is good and I do not want to stop it.
But the issue is that I can't post about certain things because many of you have other views and instead of a healthy debate, some will take it personally that I am trying to personally hurt them through what I say (I have to write or talk my deeper thoughts into words in order to get them out... To explore them...)
* Uhmmm. Don't get sidetracked MG * (I do that often).
How to use words...
Life is real. It is outside. This forum can get very one sided as the other side either stays silent or leaves as there is a lot of "Political group think" going on, and this is natural, but undemocratic... As to have democracy one must allow all free speach even if one does not agree with it.
Please be aware (I am not trying to offend. I am trying to share...) that this site like many other internet sites is not real life. It is a snippet of views and shared thoughts that happen on the moment, and therefore is only a slice of life out there. It is not life. Life is real. Real is out there and not confined to the limits of the internet or political correctness as real life is freedom.
"Grrr". I am not explaining this well.
Sometimes we become bogged down because we turn to internet sites which bog us down. Yet if we walked outside in the scenic air and explored our thoughts and just watched the day go by... We can de-stress. We can refresh... Wandering down a nice lonely footpath on our own... Having not a care in the world... That's being free! Unmasking...! The only say to be free!
To completely unmask... That is freedom. I have done it but it's rare.
Why is it rare? I am self concious. Always masking incase others are watching... But when I am completely alone I can let my masking guard down and be myself..... Freedom!! !
I can not be unmasked self on this site.
Masking has no de-stress... To de-stress one needs to unmask and be free!
So be free people. Unmask. Find those lonely lanes. Find those blessed places... Be free!! !
I used to come here for answers and revelations.
Yet I'm already done. This site already served me it's main purpose a long time ago.
Now I just come here out of boredom. Maybe out of routine.
And might as well pop out of existence for the same reason.
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Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).
Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.
Yes real life is out there. For some of us real life is also on here. I am much more fluent about my emotions and my experiences on here, in written form, than I can be in person. I think more clearly. I feel more deeply. I consider my thoughts and express my real self more easily than in verbal form. I'm a thinker and a writer, and I feel like I'm more "me" here than I am in the real world, where I often lack courage to be my true self.
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I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles
Yep, am able to identify with that.
Real life is an interesting thing, some parts of life can be more real or less real than other parts, and sometimes, which part is which and to what degree it is can be a bit different from what was expected.
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"There are a thousand things that can happen when you go light a rocket engine, and only one of them is good."
Tom Mueller of SpaceX, in Air and Space, Jan. 2011
It is interesting that real life differs from internet life.
I understand that writing allows one the time to explore ones thoughts before they come out.
On thursday I took my car to the garage just to be checked to see where oil was coming from. It is not a lot of oil but the car needed lifting up on a ramp.
He gave instructions to drive my car over the rollers first, but he gave these instructions fast like a sat nav does. One then another and then another, so before I could fully digest them I ended up stuck on the rollers which automatically came on.... You can imagine it!
He had to go through the settings of his machine to try to turn it off so I could drive off them again.
When I become flustered, I am like that for a while.
I remember hearing one evening a car that drove too fast and hit the bank near here. It has happened a few times a year. Nothing new. Most of the time it is more shock rather then anyone getting hurt though it does not do the car much good!
This one night the air was still so though the bend is about quarter of a mile away on the main bit of road (Still a small country road, as the main roads it meets are a couple of miles away) , and when I heard the bump I could hear this poor persons friends helping him get the car off the bank and telling him off for his driving.
Now he must have been flustered, and the very next bend "Bang!" He did it again! (I assume it was a he).
The only reason he missjudged the second bend soon after was he was in shock and flustered. I know how the poor person felt, though it is amusing looking back on it and listening to his mates tell him off for a second time dissbelieving their driver had crashed again so soon after the first time. There is only a length of just over a bus between the two bends, so he had hardly got going.
Sometimes when one is flustered, one has to calm down to function.... Writing allows one that bit of "Give" to process ones thoughts.
Now during the time while working on the railway I was told I was good at the job which was partly due to masking, and partly due to my love for trains, and also due to my ability to thrive in logical situations as the railway is based on logical rules.
The railway has a rulebook, and each time there has been a railway disaster or even a minor accident, the rules have been altered accordingly to find a logical way to try to prevent them happening again, and it is all checked for simplicity so it is easily understood by all and is written in such a way that they can be understood by both the layman and the legal profession. While it is not written to be full of legal jargon it is written to be read out in a legal situation and clearly understood.
On top of this there are locol rules for ones own depot specific to certain lines, but these do not conflict with the rule book and they are basic operational instructions such as when the train reaches its branch terminus, the guard must phone the signalman to let them know the train has arrived safely, and the guard must phone again before the train is to depart. (An internal telephone system is provided). Rules like this to ensure the safe working of trains.
Occasionally thougth rarely, there are out of course situations where the rules do not cover the situation one is in, or where one rule slightly conflicts with another rule. It is rare but I did not have too many issues because the rules were written with logic in mind, so if one understood why the rule was written (There is a book called "Red Is For Danger" which explains the new rules after train crashes and disasters and why the rules were written), then if one does have to make the rules fit this new out of course situation one can still function in a logical way.
In that I was "Pre-set" in that I knew the rules so I could apply them to the situation. It was also a lot like masking when dealing with people. I put on the "Official work mask" and became the railway form of "Me" which is quite different to the natural form of me, but it is still me and though it is different, it retains my aspects of character.
A member of train staff came to visit me at home once, and later when we met in work he said that I am quite different in work to how I am at home. He said it was as if I am two different people but I am the same... (I did not know it was called "Masking" so I was not able to explain. I thought everyone was like that but I do admit that only a few people I met in their home enviroment or outside of the working enviroment. Actually, in all the years of working in bicycle related jobs, I only have visited one work college and been in his home and the only outside work activities were either with him as I was in my late teens or early 20's, or they were with all the staff who had to attend a meal once a month which was with one store, their store bonus and it was compulsary to attend).
Going back to the railway and its rulebook, I actually caused a change to the rule book. A driver from another depot who for some unknown reason which he probably did not even know why and we did not know why, had a grudge against staff at our depot. He saw me in a situation in which he assumed I should have been wearing high visibility clothing, but I knew the rule book and where we should and should not wear it. The rule book did not state it was needed in this situation (Though it was probably a good idea to wear it in that situation) so when I was challenged and I said it was not stated in the rules, and he being him, got the unions and the railway involved, a whole page in everyones rulebook right throughout the country had to be re-written and added by all staff into their rulebook. They could not criticize me because I broke no rules. I found it interesting as I was the reason for a change to a whole page of the rulebook, and only a few people in the country would know the reason why!
I also was one who caused (If caused was the right word to use) alterations to the station signs in most of our stations locally after I had a situation where people were on the wrong platform and it could be dangerous if they tried to cross, as the way round was a long walk, so I cam up with an idea to prevent people from waiting on the wrong side and suggested it for that station... To my surprize, the same idea started being used within weeks on every station that needed it in this area of Wales, and I have since seen them in use right around the country so fair play. The railway do listen and are open to practical and logical solutions.
But going back to the idea and concept of this thread, is that sometimes spending too much time online is depressing, and the real world out there where one can nip outside and run (Or walk) through the fields, or through the woods and look up at the trees, or nip down to the beach and watch the sea, or even just look at the views of the sea and valley below is refreshing. We need that sometimes! Even if we do not live near the countryside and have to go to it, it is worth doing to be refreshed.
A nip out into the countryside alone and one can feel alive!
There are definitely times when people seem to believe the Internet is a reflection of “real life,” and that everybody is either an ultra-“woke” person or an ultra-fascist. That the world is about to end. That Humans are automatically toxic beings, and that Humanity is irredeemable. There are lots of people on the Internet who believe this stuff, and become depressed as a result. They sometimes formulate erroneous theories as a result of their isolation from real people.
A few people do extreme things as a result of their perceptions borne out of their Internet experiences with people. And borne out by erroneous ideas which they read on the Internet. Frequently, they don’t interact with actual folks enough.
Real life, in real locales, is not like that. People are generally more moderate in their views in “real life.” I’ve never met an actual Nazi or an actual radical feminist—and I’ve met a lot of people in my life. The Internet, seemingly, is teeming with them.
If one goes to a “third world country,” one realizes that folks there don’t feel “oppressed.” They seek to make the best of it with what they got.
A nip out into the countryside alone and one can feel alive!
I always feel better outside.I’m fortunate to live in the country so all I have to do is step out onto the porch.
When I’m depressed or anxious just pulling up a few weeds out of the veg garden or flower beds makes me feel better.
Except for the cutworms which ate the rare Japanese morning glory seeds I ordered.Sometimes it can be a downer to see a treasured plant devoured.
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I am the dust that dances in the light. - Rumi
A few people do extreme things as a result of their perceptions borne out of their Internet experiences with people. And borne out by erroneous ideas which they read on the Internet. Frequently, they don’t interact with actual folks enough.
Real life, in real locales, is not like that. People are generally more moderate in their views in “real life.” I’ve never met an actual Nazi or an actual radical feminist—and I’ve met a lot of people in my life. The Internet, seemingly, is teeming with them.
If one goes to a “third world country,” one realizes that folks there don’t feel “oppressed.” They seek to make the best of it with what they got.
This internet world is very communistic these days which is quite different from the way the internet used to be.
Democracy always ends up with communism if it does not allow the freedom of speaking to the extremes. Democracy to remain a democracy has to allow this, but only come down heavy if views are acted upon in a negative way. The freedom of speech is one that needs protecting for this very reason.
The problem with this modern communistic internet world is that anyone who thinks outside the box is branded as an extremist even though they are only excercising their rights to share thought.
Last edited by Mountain Goat on 29 May 2021, 2:07 pm, edited 3 times in total.
A nip out into the countryside alone and one can feel alive!
I always feel better outside.I’m fortunate to live in the country so all I have to do is step out onto the porch.
When I’m depressed or anxious just pulling up a few weeds out of the veg garden or flower beds makes me feel better.
Except for the cutworms which ate the rare Japanese morning glory seeds I ordered.Sometimes it can be a downer to see a treasured plant devoured.
Having a garden and getting out there and just letting oneself adapt it to how one desires it to be is soo liberating.... It makes life worth living!
A nip out into the countryside alone and one can feel alive!
I always feel better outside.I’m fortunate to live in the country so all I have to do is step out onto the porch.
When I’m depressed or anxious just pulling up a few weeds out of the veg garden or flower beds makes me feel better.
Except for the cutworms which ate the rare Japanese morning glory seeds I ordered.Sometimes it can be a downer to see a treasured plant devoured.
Having a garden and getting out there and just letting oneself adapt it to how one desires it to be is soo liberating.... It makes life worth living!
It’s what gets me through the dark times.Even in winter it’s beautiful,the different shades of green in the evergreens ,the red berries on the hollies, sunlight on the ornamental grasses, frost sparkling on the plants, green moss on the rocks, the silhouettes of bare trees ,it’s all wonderful.
I read this quote years ago, not sure who by.Not sure if I have the exact wording.
“Only to the gardener does time give more than it takes away.”
Every year mine increases in beauty and I am inspired to add more.I plant new varieties of daffodils every year and they never fail to amaze me with their beauty and fragrance.Especially the little jonquils.
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I am the dust that dances in the light. - Rumi
Mountain Goat,
I loved reading your story of working on the rail road. I wish you would share more on this.
I think it is a bit funny to be talking on the internet about not talking on the internet.
With COVID-19 here in the USA real-life has been closed for over a year. I started participating in WP to reconnect with Humans (TM).
I still like to go for a walk and see the trees and sky but since last march I have been mostly living in the same house seeing the same people (my family) and then going out into that other real world.
The internet is part of our real world these days - but people really do get crazy on the internet sometimes.
The weird thing is that if you take all the people out of the internet the internet is not crazy all by itself. It needs people for the crazy to happen.
I have been using the internet since before the invention of the web browser. It was a lot less crazy back then - but we had forums even then (they were called "usenet news groups" and you can still find then in "Google Groups"). Then the invented IRC which was AOL instant messenger before there was AOL instant messenger - and that was "texting" before there was "texting".
I was going to joke about the Matrix and the Red Pill.
But I wont.
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ADHD-I(diagnosed) ASD-HF(diagnosed)
RDOS scores - Aspie score 131/200 - neurotypical score 69/200 - very likely Aspie
It is funny writing on the i ternet about not writing on the internet. Haha! Oh the railways! Oh! I have lots of stories if I can remember them.
I don't know how but I worked a week under 9 years on the railways. I have never worked any other place for so long. It is because the shifts were so varied that the people I worked with was always changing as well, though in the other respect this was also stressful as well as there was not a lot of familiar... So it took a lot out of me in that way. It was odd like that. I could not do it today... Actually when I look back I don't know how I managed it for so long. I don't know how I managed it at all as to work those trains on some days it was sheer fear on the inside and yet it was on the outside I was a different person. I was working trains that police officers would not go in without major backup, and yet I was on my own... But I knew that God was with me so I just knew I was ok. If it was not for that I would not have done it, as trains are dangerous things to work. I have been in so many situations in the past... Seen so many things.... The railways shows you the best and the worst in people. Certainly gives one experience in life...
But jobs I have had before and since... About two or three years is all I could mange before the masking broke down and it all fell apart.
Do you know that apart from a short 6 months job as a postman (The hardest physical job I have ever done which was 6AM to 8PM with a single 25 minute lunch break so I was getting thinner and thinner as I was too tired to eat when I got back home and I was too nurvous to eat in the morning before I went to work)... But apart from that and a few days at weekends helping Father Christmas, all the other jobs I have done have directly involved one of my two primary special interests in one form or another? It is wierd that somehow I could jot think beyond that in the past when I was looking for work. I could not visualize myself or imagine myself doing any other work, and the strange thing is that though I did apply for other jobs in the past (Before I hit the difficulties associated with burnout), I did not get them because somehow it was hard for me to think outside the realm of my special interests.
Oh. Some messups I have made when applying for jobs in the past. I have been expertly trained in retail, but it has always involved the bicycle trade. However, in one store that I quickly rose up to be head of the bicycle department also sold other things as it was a sports store. (I also had a lot of shutdowns in there because unknown to me, the smell of clothes in the clothing isles was a trigger, but there again, also unknown to me, the smell of the spray oils I worked with is also a trigger. At home I have to use an oil which effects me less but it is hard to get and expensive). But I once applied to work in what I assumed to be a clothes shop. It was a newly opened clothes shop. Well. I had sold clothes before while covering the other departments and in that store we were all also fully trained in the sales of footware. Now this new shop came up as a clothes shop. I did not know much about clothes. It was called "Ann Summers". They saw my qualifications and retail experience but I could only see ladies clothes and they seemed mostly underwear. A bit unusual... They decided I was not the right person to sell their clothes and I thought nothing of it.
Months went past and in conversation I mentioned it to my Mum, or it could have been my brothers ex wife (When she was with my brother) and they thought it was hillarious. Puzzled I wanted to know why it was so funny. They told me it was a sex shop! I honestly did not know! No one in the job centre said anything to prepare me when I went down to the interview. I did say I had experience, but I meant in retail sales! Not in sex. (I am kinda a virgin to this day! (A virgin in that my part has never... Oh... You get what I am saying and if you don't, I will tell you when you are older (That is what my parents always told me, that they will tell me when I am older... Uhmm. My Mums still alive and she still hasn't told me. Haha! "Mum?" ))) .
Oh. I have had other wierd jobcentre experiences in the past many years ago... Once a quite funny cross purpose situation which I did not work out what had happened until after... I can write about that again... "The Adventures of Mountain Goat!" To be continued...
To me WP feels like an "Aspie headquarters". I don't even think about AS in real life as I just identify myself as a neurotypical and live like a neurotypical. But then I come here to talk about my AS or other worries that can only be discussed so much in the offline world. It's a place where I can get my thoughts heard anonymously. If I expressed everything I wrote here to people offline then I'd be like an excessive chatterbox with no off switch. I'm already overly talkative as it is.
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Female
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