Jobs for the boy

Post Reply New Topic

I was in the Jobcentre the other day, it's dead busy nowadays, so was waiting quite a while. I drew up a list of Jobs that I think would be interesting. See if you agree, or tell me if you've ever had one of the following:

Ghost Disposal Operative
Claptrap Maintenance Engineer
Alligator Whisperer
Charisma Worker
Child Herder
Trade Transaction Supervisor
Despair Dispersion Expert
Travelling Guesser
Emotional Blockage Expunger
Latrine Viewer
Amount Assessor
Spirit Crusher
Court Jester
Stud

None of them was in the machines. What jobs do you reckon might be fun?

I'd like to try this stud thing out.

... I assume we're talking about being a support beam in a wall, right?

Bah. I bet I could do any of these:

Clam Operative.
Brick Toucher.
Picture Straightener.
Box Follower.
Bicycling Letter Opener.
Tree Estimator.
Tractor Tyre Kicker.
Air Relocation Officer.
Sandwich Presser.
Goat Tester.

Ask no questions.

By the way, my last job as a caretaker was, no kidding, officially called all of these at some point:

-Regeneration Officer
-Regeneration Operative
-Regeneration Worker
-Estates Worker
-Estates Assistant
-Apprentice Caretaker

All for the same job.... Which basically involved sitting around drinking coffee for most of the day talking to half a dozen Nepalese men and playing with Kinder Egg spinning tops.

@rabbitears

That sounds like one place I worked at where "promotion" meant still doing the same job for the same rate of pay but with a slightly grander job title!

No promotion prospects for Senior Kinder Egg Top Spinner, then?

Director of Kinder Egg Top Spinning!

No promotions at all. My contract wasn't extended.... In fact, it was cut short by two weeks, for no reason.

I liked that job too.

I think I'd have made a good Bi-Coloured Cocoa Ovum Spherical Kinesis Repetition Assistant Operative too.

Their loss.

I want to be the child herder for Monkey.

Oh, undoubtedly.
There's nothing quite like a Rotationally Repetitive Visual Interference Generating Ovoid, and of course it will need a qualified manager.
Cah. The fools.

^Poetry at it's prime.^

It wouldn't have taken long for me to gain the necessary qualifications either. I already had 3 months experience with handling the device. Whoever will take heed now??

I also make a great court jester.

What is it with you keep wanting to herd children with my girlfriend?? You worry me deeply....

What? I am not trying to make you jealous, I just am all for child labor when it comes to helping Monkey conquer children.

I have forgotten how this whole thing started up now anyway. Refresh my memory. Why is she collecting children? I know it had something to do with factories in Asia, and it started in my 'Apology' thread....

I don't know, when I was unbanned I just joined in on collecting children for her.