What was your worst cooking disaster

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Weve all been there, your cooking up something to eat and it ends up being a disaster, I love baking things, cookies, pies, cakes etc, and ive never had any disasters while baking, but actual cooking tends to be a different story, I remeber when i was 12 yrs old i made myself pancakes for breakfast, and i was so excited cause i just started learning how to cook pancakes, First i went to open up the batter mix and the bag split open and all the flour was all over the floor and coated my entire body, then after i got a new box i tried making them. and next next thing i know i went to flip the stupid thing and i end up flipping it on to the ceiling, and the side that was uncooked was ofcourse the side that touched the ceiling , next thing i know theres a pancake stuck to my celing and it is not falling down either, so i had to get a chair to try and scrape it off but i ended up falling off of the chair, worst cooking day of my life, that or the time i was stimming while cooking using a pencil and i dropped it in the oven, yeah that wasnt good, i got it out but it was pretty much burnt to a crisp and i was so scared cause i thought it would catch on fire

Pancakes are my arch-nemesis as well...

Sorry, bradt, but I had a good laugh over your glued-to-the-celing pancake. It was very funny. My worst cooking disaster was that time I invited my sister and her husband over for dinner and decided to try a new recipe. It was salmon with a dill sauce. You cannot go wrong with salmon, right? Wrong. I still do not know how I managed, but the damn thing was almost unedible. I watched my sister and brother-in-law suffer trying to eat the fish, but I ended up asking them to stop and go out to get something else.

Made a cake, the add water and oil type. Forgot the water. It obviously exploded all over the oven and I was never permitted back into that kitchen.

Mine was ironically one of the easiest things in the world to make: pasta.

I was in 11th grade and it was the night before a meet....so I had to have pasta.
Unfortunately, my mind was distracted in other things.
It cooked for a few hours and then I finally noticed it when it was pitch black and layered on the bottom of the pan that it took 5 days of soaking and a ton of scrubbing to clean it off.....and there are still marks on that pan.

PAY ATTENTION TO THE COOKER!

But that's not as bad as my mom, she caught chips on fire one year in the oven.

I swear though, I'm not a horrible cook, my attention can just be divided sometimes.

One time I tried making chocolate chip cookies on my own, and instead of using eggs, I used the eggs that come in a carton. I misread the measurements and used the equivalent of 8 eggs instead of 2, and they turned out like small cakes. They were still good though.

Either...

1. Attempted to use the deep-fat-fryer when I was about nine years old (first time I'd done this, and only time I'll ever do this), it got too hot and caught alight, I forgot what to do so I chucked a jar of flour on top (thankfully the flour was normally locked away, but I had unscrewed the lock from the cupboard and left it open) - HUGE mess of fatty flour everywhere, flour all over me, kitchen full of smoke, and in the panic I had put the basket on the bench where it had blistered the bench-top and the pan itself on the floor where it melted the flooring. It ended-up being put in the back garden...where it then scorched the lawn. My mother was far from happy when she got home.

2. Recently boiled an egg, forgot about it (often happens if I attempt to cook anything late at night as I get too forgetful and/or hyper-focused on other things) until there was a sudden and very loud bang from the kitchen followed by a clash of the pan against the floor - it had boiled dry and the egg had exploded...black bits of egg all over the kitchen. There's still bits of egg in some places on the kitchen walls and ceiling...it will be getting redecorated soon though.

Just writing this so my number of replies isnt 13 anymore lol, sorry im very superstitious when oit comes to this number

Well, lets see.
I once tried to make brownies and got the proportions of oil and watter mixed up.
Last time i tried to make grits it ended up tasting like uncooked green tomatoes (still haven't figured that one out).