Before you post here...

Post Reply New Topic

[This post is intended to be taken as humorous and sarcastic. No offense is meant.]

We seem to be re-hashing the same topics over and over on WP. So, in the interests of efficiency, I decided to just address all the topics in one post, so that we could get on to more interesting discussions (like what exactly the meaning of a cat's "silent meow" is, or whether Batman really could take out Superman).

Before you post, check this list. The answer to your question is probably here...

• We have no clue if you're autistic. Do you have the symptoms? Then get yourself a doctor and ask them. Preferably a doctor without the habit of inserting his cranium into his rectum.
• No, you don't have to be NT to land a date.
• Yes, we hate it when people make fun of us, too.
• They may or may not have AS, but they're definitely a jerk. Why are you hanging around with them, again?
• Yes, you can get disability payments for Asperger's. No, you do not want to try to live on them.
• NTs are weird. You know it, we know it. Let's just accept it and move on.
• No, you are not the most loathsome, pitiful person ever to walk the planet. You're an interesting and valuable human being, trust us. We've felt that way, too, so the Most Pitiful Person position is already occupied. You'll have to be content with just being yourself.
• Your special interest may be odd, but we've seen weirder. Quit worrying and have fun with it!
• We don't really care about your IQ score. If you're autistic, it's irrelevant. If you're NT, your report card means more.
• The latest online AS screening test shows you're autistic. Cool. We knew that already.
• No, self-diagnosed people are not hypochondriacs.
• Twisting your diet into knots won't affect your autism. It may cure your indigestion, but not your autism.
• Marijuana and alcohol will get you high, but they will not make you NT.
• The vaccine-causation myth has been debunked a thousand times already. Do we really have to drag its rotting carcass out of its grave yet again?
• No, I don't want to take a magic pill to make me neurotypical. More importantly, the magic pill doesn't exist and will never exist, so can we just admit to ourselves that the magic pill is a symbol for "Are you okay with who you are?"
• No, we're not sociopaths. When's the last time you saw me murdering somebody? Never? Right, then. Not a sociopath.
• Yes, Asperger's is a type of autism.
• Famous Person X may or may not be autistic, but it's hard enough to diagnose somebody when they're sitting right in front of you with neuropsych testing materials in between. Diagnosing somebody at a distance is, for all practical purposes, impossible. Not that we won't claim them as an autistic anyway.
• Can we stop with the More Autistic Than Thou contest? It's getting kind of boring.
• Yes, savant skills exist. No, they're not all Rainman parodies.
• Some of us can talk. Some of us can't. Deal with it.
• Functioning labels are meaningless. If you use them, define them first, but maybe it's better if we just don't use them.
• No, they are not taking Asperger's out of the DSM. They're creating a new Autism Spectrum Disorder category, and it will include Asperger's.
• Lots of us have ADHD, too.
• Medication is neither poison nor panacea. Can we stop being so sensationalistic about it now?
• Yeah, your kid is autistic. No, the world is not ending, the sky is not falling, and he can still be happy. Next time somebody tells you he can't, just do the world a favor and punch them in the face for us, 'kay?

Well played ...

maybe this is the wine talking, but you. are. hilarious.

I enjoyed this immensely, well done.

You forgot "Yes - Aspies DO have a sense of humor"

Awesome!

Sticky!

You thought of everything.

Love it!

Well done! Don't forget "Are Aspies capable of lying?"

You forgot:
uncle tom aspies will always make it worse for: non uncle tom aspies

Callista rocks!!

There's also a myriad of questions concerning the way Aspies look, whether they are ugly, what race are they, do they believe in God, do they wear socks or makeup. Stuff like that.

I like the last one the most since I am hugely fed up with the generally believed myth that people with Asperger's or Autism are better off dead. I also liked the one about alcohol and pot. Of course they will not make you NT. You may think you're acting NT, because substances create all kinds of illusions that aren't true, but you are really are acting like an idiotic drunken stoner who makes me sick just to be near you.

Bra.Vo.

Excellent job.

Excellent post! Very funny and very true.