Total and complete loss of faith in humanity

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If you want to comment, I would really appreciate something like a "there, there" something comforting, maybe I'm wrong? Maybe faith in humanity can be restored? HIGHEST doubts.
It is no secret that I see the sum total of the human race as a ravenous apex predator
Not sure when this started, but it was definitely solidified once becoming a genuine adult and working for one company in particular that was the very embodiment of viciousness in all its forms. I will not discuss further.

Since leaving this company, I've found most other work environments are just less extreme versions of the same place.
I don't understand how this has been accepted as the norm or how people go on living like this, that this is just the world we live in and the powerful make the powerless feel weak and if a person is dumb enough to be taken advantage of they deserve it.

Oh the humanity or complete and utter lack thereof.
Rant over.

I would say that human interaction is complex.
A great deal of human interaction is not that different to primates, the main difference is that human beings have learnt sophisticated methods to disguise our primate behaviours in complex language and activities.

It is arguable that a great deal of human endeavour is solely to maximise our potential for pro creation.
I would include a great deal of human life around this core concept. Including working to get wealthy, to show off prowess in all sorts of activities, all ultimately designed to attract the best mates.

Some aspects of the human race however, is altruistic. People who are drawn to religion and altruism often are attracted to such spiritual activities in their search of trying to make sense out of the world and universe that they find themselves in.

Others, simply enjoy helping others.
For example, the reason why i have replied to your post is because i wish to help reduce your anguish and promote a more balanced perspective so that you may see that the world of human beings aka humanity, are not all greedy narcissistic selfish sadistic fascist sociopaths (although i would have to say that a great deal of them are).

A few years ago, i also was fed up with the society that i lived in. I live in the UK, and on a strange offshore tax haven island that is geared up with the specific interest of helping the super wealthy hide their fortunes from the tax man in their native lands. A amoral nature to the island's economic environment that I nor the other native inhabitants have any control over.

The island itself is very small and fairly beautiful, well, if you ignore all the concrete jungle part of the island, a necessary evil for an island that houses big merchant banks who do the wealthy clients dirty business.

Yes, i went to India to search out places that have a different take on humanity.
I went to two interesting places on my travels around the country, and these two places were but two such places.
There are certainly other places that live a different life to the vast majority.

One of these places was north India, Dharamshala. The summer home land of the Dalai Lama and his fellow Tibetan people. I found the people in Dharamshala fairly pleasant laid back and mellow place to exist.

The people who lived in this area were Tibetan and followed Buddhist philosophy.
I found the people really warm, friendly and generally genuine. The only downside with this place was that it was fairly run down, like most cities and towns in India.

The other place i went to was a place called Auroville which is situated in Tamil Nadu State, just off Pondicherry town/city.

Auroville is an unsual place, in that it is like a community of new age spiritually minded and motivated people.
The collective i found quiet interesting, especially if you want to escape the world of capitalism.

As the emphasis of the land was to escape the main stream capitalism and attempt to live in harmony with other people from various parts of the world while having a "spiritual" emphasis in life, which the founder referred to as living yoga or in their words "integral yoga".

The people i met there were generally fairly pleasant and the general architecture and quality of the food etc. was of a high standard. It was also fairly cheap to live there.

If you liked the place after living there for some time, you potentially be given the offer to become a permanent member of the place, in which you would then be required to work x amount of hours a day, for the exchange of a place to live and your living essentials being provided for.

This place was also fairly pleasant and had a fairly diverse open minded population which in my experience was fairly bohemian.

Like I say, this world has all sorts of people within it, and there may be places on this planet that may have more to offer you which may hopefully give you some respect and love for humanity again.

I believe in life, when you, as i do, have a sadness on the very nature of the general population of humans,
it is wise to try and find a place where the people are more like minded in their outlook.

Finding people who live such an alternative take on reality may be what you need.

Other than that, perhaps going to live in a country that is cheap to live in, and simply exploiting the cheap country for its cheap living, so that you can enjoy an easy life away from the crap reality of consumer driven capitalism may also be an alternative solution, which only works however if you have enough money to sustain yourself.

There are other alternative strategies to life that is a great deal less soul destroying than much of the normal capitalist modern societies. Perhaps a subject that is worth exploring further.

I've done this twice in my life already. The first time was an off grid farm in which it took about 5 weeks before the group turned on me and I felt completely ostracized amongst a fairly small collective, very painful

The second time was a kibbutz in Israel where essentially the same thing happened. It's usually about 5 weeks before a group of random people will collectively decide I don't belong and must be shunned.

Doesn't help with faith in humanity

Humanity is a scourge but humanity is also beautiful. Humanity has been the source of all the ills plaguing the earth and humanity is also responsible for beautiful music, art, humor, and philosophy. Both can be true.

In all honesty, I’m practicing believing this, because I also don’t believe this all the time. I’m in a dialectical behavior therapy group that places a lot of value on balancing seemingly opposing truths. Like the inevitability of pain and loss in life, and also of love and joy. In order to alleviate suffering, to be able to sit with the reality of life and accept that things are as they are and they got there through a traceable series of events.

Had I joined this message board last year, I’d 100% agree that humanity cannot be redeemed for the utter destruction and indifference. I would have rolled my eyes and had judgmental thoughts about anyone who would tell me something like what I wrote up there. I guess today I am not as concerned about redemption or predicting how soon we are going to self-immolate as a species. It is ultimately impossible to resolve, and trying to is painful. Accepting the bad and being open to the good is how I can get through the days.

Human beans can be tricky. Ask one! Haha.

Andro- I can empathize with your experience. It is heartbreaking to be part of a community and then realize or be told you are not. To stand outside of...again...the pain is sharp, deep and crushing.

Interestingly, for me, over the long haul, it has made me into a better person.

I’ve worked in several “helping” professions, but still found them dominated by people who “care” but not really. Where the work is rewarding, perhaps, but there is to be professional distancing. That changed, for me, after a few years of working with people with developmental disabilities. I discovered so many people whose job was their calling, so many families who were generous and caring, all the goodness in the clients. Not perfect by any means but definitely above and beyond.

This is not to take away from your experiences or anyone else’s. Just what I have found.

Sure, but the proportions are not equal. Those that create beautiful or moving art represent the tiniest fraction of the whole, probably less than 1%. And they're not exactly treated well for their more sensitive dispositions.

That sounds nice. I was thinking of getting involved in more meaningful work, that's really what's been causing the lingering doubts about humanity. It seems like in America the underlying structure to the workplace dynamic is for the employee to understand they are nothing and the employer is everything.

Work environments often bring the worst in people. By nature work environment are highly competitive because failing at it means at best not having things most other people have at worst it means, poverty, starvation, and homelessness.

This is what I say to people too. It brings out the inner animal that for most people isn't buried so deep beneath the surface anyway. I don't think most people are close to an awareness level where if they worry less and cooperate more then tend to find more peace, happiness, usually higher productivity and if in roles that are compensated with commission, more money as well.

"There, there".

Isn't this simply a case of being on the spectrum?
Aren't most of us always on the outside looking in?

Oh, and: "There, there."

Maybe? It's more than just outside looking in, it's usually very deliberately excluded in the most painful of ways. Because I tend to come across as disinterested and also expecting for the shun to happen. Because I'm disinterested it makes people think who does this b***h think she is and bam, shun ensues. Keep a friendly distance, they swarm and attack. Try to pretend to care, they swarm and attack. I'm tired of dealing with chimpanzees.

Last edited by adromedanblackhole on 15 Oct 2020, 11:27 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Yes I have worked in 20-30 different places over the past 35 years and there is good probability that people in upper management will lack any sort of empathy for you or your welfare and they tend to employ/promote people like themselves.

There are three things you need.

Firstly the ability to actively listen. Active listening is underrated, if you use it properly it allows you scan the environment for potential triggers or people who pose a threat. It alleviates the need to be hypervigilant which only makes you anxious.

Secondly practice processing information as you gather quickly. I would treat this like a performance sport the ability to take information quickly and process it.

Third and final is the ability to be resilient. You will make mistakes, its important to not be perturbed. NTs have an ability to let things wash off like water from a duck's back. Persistence and perseverance is important but learn from your mistakes.

If it means walking 10 steps to keep up with one step of your colleagues then make the effort, it all depends on how badly you want to work and keep a job.

In addition to these things, I pay attention to subtle nuances in the way my colleagues describe things and can typically gauge what their weak points are. I have found since the chimps don't accept you as one of their own, they will leave you alone if they fear you can cause more harm to them than they can cause harm to you.
I hate the world.

Yes paying attention to subtle nuances is active listening - listening and observing.

When you are working in a team points 1-3 are really essential.

If your team mates are cracking a joke/or talking about something you don't understand listen/learn and if they turn to you then follow the salient advice from "Skipper" from the Penguins of Madagascar....just "smile and wave boys" "smile and wave"