Police harrassment and how to handle it, LOL

Post Reply New Topic

I put this on random because it wasn't actual harrassment, and it has nothing whatsoever to do with AS. I put "LOL" there because it's sort of amusing, but this really did just now happen to me.

Back story. I live in a small town. In the Deep, Deep DEEP South. We have very few police, and almost no crime, so they get bored. Everybody knows everybody else, and so we all know the cops and they know us. They all live here too. There is one I do not like, named - for the sake of this post - John Doe. He dislikes being called by his full name, he prefers to be called Mr John, Mr Johnny, or Mr Doe if you have to get formal.

I had walked to the police station to pay my husbands probation, for 1) having an expired drivers license which was renewed by the time he went to court and 2) letting our grass grow taller than 12 inches over the summer when he was out of work and we couldn't afford to pay the yard man. It was cut by the court date but he still got a huge fine and two years probation anyway. We really need some actual crime here so normal citizens don't get the shaft over nothing, and they can still get their revenue. So, any criminals out there, please move here and cause havoc, get caught, and pay your fines please.

I had also gone to the Piggely Wiggely across from the police station and bought beef tips, carrots and a fruitcake. Then I went next door to the liqour store and bought cigarettes because they are cheaper there. Piggely Wiggely is called "Mr Wayne's" because Wayne owns it. The liqour store is called "Keiths" because Keith owns it, even though thats not the name of the store.

So. I walked out of the liqour store and was walking up the road by that cow pasture on my way home. Here comes Johnny Doe in the squad car up beside me. I did not stop walking at all during this, forcing him to crawl along at abuot 3 mph to keep up with me.

JD - "What you got in that bag? I seen you come out Keiths!"

Me - "Beef tips, carrots and a fruitcake. Ain't your business what I got in my bag. I got cigarettes from Keith's cause Mr Wayne charges too much. You know that!"

JD - "Lemme see in yo bag!"

Me - "You ain't seeing in my bag, my purse, my pockets or my shoes, I ain't in the mood, go on!"

JD - "Your shoes? What you got in your shoes? Why I can't see in your shoes?"

Me - "My feet and the lambswool lining of these clogs is what I got in my shoes Johnny Doe, now I said go ON!"

JD - "Why you got to call me by my whole name, you know I don't like that! That's police brutality is what that is."

Me - "Jesus Christ"

JD - "You ain't gonna let me search you I can go and get the dog and he smell of you and tell me what you got"

Me - "Don't you bring that dog around my beef tips, that dog will tear my sack open and eat them."

JD - "He a police dog, he won't do that."

Me - "I seen ya'lls DOG and I know ya'll don't feed him he's skinny as a stray thats why he's always sitting for those cars ya'll bring him to so you'll feed him!"

JD - "Why you wanna say something like that?"

Me - "Cause it's true and you know it. Go on and get your mangy hungry dog and let him get into my beef tips, and when he does you taking yourself back to Mr Waynes and buying me another thing of them!"

JD - "I'm gonna go get the dog"

Me - "Go on then, you won't though cause you scared of dogs and you know it"

JD - "Why you gotta say something like that?"

Me - "Why, is it 'police brutality'? Why don't you hush and just give me a ride on to my house and be useful for once?"

JD - "Cause you almost there"

Me - " Ain't you got pressing business at the gas station? Ain't you worried that they are about to take some pizza out of the oven without you there to taste it?"

JD - "You as mean as a snake, I'm gonna get my dog, that's where I'm going right now!"

Me - "Bye, be careful"


That's a typical encounter with the police where I'm from. He was just bugging me, not actually harrassing me. That's pretty much how it goes when they actually try and stop you here. It requires some type of cooperation from you, unless they really believe you are a criminal and in that case they physically grab you. If I had stopped and refused to let him look in my bag, and just stood there, he would have got the other boy out there with the dog. It would have been an event. As it was, he was just jawing at me.

I thought it was amusing and after he left I thought about it and decided it would be fun to write up for the forum.

So, I did.

Now I have to put my beef stew on. Yum!

Are you both black? Because that's not the Queen's, fo' sho'.

You have to ask the officer(s) "Am I being detained?". If they say no, ask them "Am I free to go?", and they say you're free to go, then they have to by law let you go without a search.

If they say yes, just cooperate.

No, I'm white, he's black. I live, as I said, in the Deep, Deep, DEEP South. I was speaking regular Southern English and he was speaking Black Southern English. They may look the same written, but they are pronounced very differently. Tone and inflection and pronounciation of certain words are what differers.

He also speaks a bit more "country" than I do, and I tend to pick up on others speech patterns easily. I know him and how he speaks so I speak that same way to him.

I have an extremely thick Southern accent, which can sound either country - when I speak as I normally speak at home and to friends and family or to those in my community, or refined - when I speak to people whom I feel it is important to give a good impression to.

The phrasing is similar to Black Southern English, for both white and black here. "Why I'm gonna do that" instead of "Why do I have to do that?" or "Why would I do that?" for example. "Ol' dog ain't gone do 'at!" for "That dog won't do that" etc.

An odd thing about the South is, that the more genteel you are, the longer you spin out what you are saying. In other words, only a lower class person would answer you with a short and succinct answer, while higher class person would explain it further and go into more details.

Because I tend to explain everything to the nth degree, because I feel that I must - AS anyone? - people tend to think I'm higher class than I actually am. So, it worked out well for me there.

We do not speak the Queen's English here, we have our own version, and we like it very much and are very comfortable with it, although many would not understand us. Nor would you understand me at all, in all probability, if I were to type my words phonetically and phrased as I would speak them.

If it was a regular cop, then I might have. His response to "Am I being detained" would more than likely be "Why? SHOULD YOU be detained? What you up to make you even think you should be detained?"

It's not like I had very much to work with there. He doesn't even comprehand "police brutality" and seems to think it's where someone says or does something mean to him. Everybody knows he didn't even graduate from the high school here. He got his (now) wife pregnant and had to quit and get a job.

I don't speak t'Queen's either. I speak Lankyshur I do and it's reyt.

I bet you wouldn't understand me but most people in most of the UK would (apart from some Scottish people, but they're all weird up there anyway).

Nicely written dialogue OliveOil. It was like I was there. You have a knack for it.

It sounds like he was giving you a hard time or as they say pulling your chain looking to create a response in you while making himself feel pretty big. It is a power play looking for you to expose your belly like a less dominant dog in a pack. It is in my opinion, an abuse of his position. Unfortunately, it is pretty normal police behavior to evaluate suspicious people. You handled it well. It is a shame people have to treat other people like that.

I don't like him and he knows it, and he doesn't like me and I know it, although he is a friend of my husbands. He was just messing with me is all. I'm sure if I had had a real problem, like got mugged (yeah right, not in this town anyway) or more likely, fell and hurt myself and needed a ride home he would have been somewhat professional, but that is honestly his professional persona.

I'm very familiar with the Southern yanking the chain business. That's why I gave it right back at him.


Him and my husband are football buddies. They get drunk and yell and scream at the television when the Tide is playing. Once, my husband and his other football buddy, after a big National Championship win, decided that the best way to celebrate was to run around the block naked holding a pole with the Tide flag on it. I called the cops because that embarrassed me for him to do that. It was him, Johnny Doe, who came out. He had had to work and couldnt come over and join in the festivities so instead he gave them a blue light, siren blipping escort around the block. While they ran naked.

I yelled at him when they got back, because I had wanted them ARRESTED. I mean, they were RUNNING AROUND THE BLOCK NAKED, TRULY NAKED, with a flag pole and the Crimson Tide flag on it. The police I called GAVE THEM AN ESCORT. I said "why did you not arrest them?" He said "just to piss you off and ROLL TIDE!". I said "I'm calling Mr Terry tomorrow!" Mr Terry is the chief of police. He said "That won't do you no good, he's Nick Saban's second cousin!"

I just can't win down here.