I have a 4-month-old cat, still a kitten really though he's nearly full-sized, who is completely insane. At night, he alternates between attacking me in my sleep or trying to cuddle with me under the blankets (which would be nice except I can't sleep when he's licking me, which he does constantly with that sandpapery tongue). In the morning as soon as my alarm goes off he starts jumping up to attack my hands and face. He follows me when I go to take a shower and sits outside, waiting for me to come out, then licks me clean. While I'm trying to drink my tea and get ready in the morning, he's constantly attacking my feet when I'm standing (only when I have socks on, he seems to have a thing for socks) and my arms, hands, and face when I'm sitting. The same when I get home from work.
He has cuddly moods, where he just curls up on my lap and purrs and is sooo sweet. He obviously loves me and thinks of me as his mother, because I rescued him when he was only a few weeks old, too young to be on his own. But lately he's just out of control. My hands are covered in scars from his claws, I have cuts and scratches on my face, my clothing is all getting torn. I know he must be lonely when I'm at work (8-10 hours per day, sometimes as much as 12), but no matter how much attention I give him he will never give me a moment's peace.
This morning I've been trying to wrap some small gifts for my coworkers and he keeps attacking my legs and arms, and I've got a new cut on my face. I've tried ignoring him but he doesn't stop. I've tried stopping for a few minutes and playing with him, but that just seems to get him riled up. I've tried picking him up by the scruff of the neck, but he just goes mental until I drop him then attacks me again. I've even tried picking him up and gently (and once or twice, I'm ashamed to say, not so gently) tossing him across the room out of frustration, but he just runs right back and hits me again.
What can I do to show him that it's time to stop? I don't mind playing sometimes, when he's attacking a shoelace or a toy, but when he claws my face it's too much. He nearly hit my eye the other day! There must be some signal I can give as his "mother" that he needs to calm down and leave me alone, that I'm the boss and he has to stop, but I can't figure anything out. I thought they were supposed to respond to being carried by the scruff of the neck, but it's not working on him, it just makes him crazier.
Thanks so much to anyone who can offer advice. I'm at my wit's end and I'm worried I might lose it and actually hurt the little guy. I love him to death, but he's killing me!