NT language manipulation

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My dad and I were just discussing something, and he said something that I just knew I should post here

He said

"in business, we never say that we have a problem. We say that we have a "challenge"

he says that they say that because it's more positive, and to be fair, I do kind of get it, but it's a weird issue from an aspy perspective (in my humble opinion)

That sounds like political correctness, not manipulation.

Challenges are fun, problems suck.

You don't have an option for both or it depends. This really isn't an NT issue, you know. It's rooted more in New Age style positive thinking. In business you can see it in such oldie moldies as Think and Grow Rich. Don't ask me the author. Positive thinking can be useful but the concept is used too often to shut people up when there is a problem that they really could use some help with.

Yes, there is a problem. Define the problem. Move past the problem and reframe it as a challenge. Find the solution. If you get stuck in the problem stage it's hard to move past it. On the other hand, some things are and always will be problems. I hope that made some sense.

When you get into a business that is REALLY into this, it is freaking annoying! They expect you to literally deny that anything in life is ever negative. In a way, and at it's worst, it negates people being people. It raises stress because in this instance even the NT's are forced to pretend everything is 'positive' when it is anything. People burn out from a heavy handed application of this. I've also found that companies with the biggest, negative issues are the ones who enforce this type of corporate culture. It's a huge red flag...

Oh yes I do have highly positive thinking. That was because I was taught it and then I started to do it at age 15. I realize it can be a bad thing because too much of anything is bad.

Gamer, your father makes a valid point, and it is more than semantic. I think the bigger issue is separating problems that are amenable to solutions from those that aren't.

There is also the matter of prioritization. The best place to start is on a problem you know you can solve, and whose solution will provide you with some definite benefit. Work down from there to problems most defiant of solution, and even if solved, would provide marginal benefit.

While I have absolutely no trouble believing this, could yo please give a few examples?

Yeah this type of mindset is prevalent in the company I work for. We are told that we have to talk less about problems and more about solutions. Problems are usually called "obstacles" and we can't discuss any obstacle without offering ideas about how to get around it.

It sounds like a good concept but it's not. The problems persist because the underlying reasons for them are never confronted. They are just constantly glossed over with glib ideas about how to overcome them. Those ideas most often don't work out so well in reality, but no one wants to actually say that in a meeting because it sounds "negative".

Very little of what is discussed in meetings has any practical application in the field. After you've been around awhile, you realize that all the higher ups want to hear is the same BS over and over again. Some people play that game and brown nose, and others like me just quit saying much of anything because there's no point.

We have high turnover and I've seen a consistent pattern, new hires start out really enthusiastic, acting almost like they won the lottery because they are so sucked in by the BS. Then they gradually figure it out and they get angry. Then if they stay around long enough they take on a jaded, defeated attitude.

Yes it's a huge red flag. False positivity means real issues are constantly swept under the rug...which means there are huge internal problems with the company no one knows how to solve, poor communication, and low morale that has to be artificially inflated by games of pretend.

"We have a situation..." is another PC phrase I hear often.

This is a common human pattern. New Age thought is pretty prominent right now. It's in therapies, business, education, among others. If you have a problem you aren't thinking positively so it's your fault. All problems don't really exist then because it's just a lack of positive thinking. If you have a non-existent problem then you aren't thinking positively so your problem doesn't actually exist and you should just go away and shut up about it.

I don't think it's much different than the Christian style of dealing with problems. If something bad happens to you then you have either pissed God off by committing some sin or he's testing you and you should feel honored because God doesn't give anyone more than they can handle. I don't have to do anything about it other than pray. You should shut up and thank God.

There are versions in every religion.

THIS! A lot of Corporate America is run like this. For every one straight talking employee, usually someone a bit naive socially but very competent such as an engineer, there are 10 people who talk like that. They sit in meetings and answer phones and feed BS to those above them, and never actually get anything done.

^^^ THIS! What she said! Thanks for that.

In the company I worked for, as a manager, I was not allowed to call in a problem unless I had a solution to fix it. The problem was, you were not allowed to discuss the problem in negative terms - no complaining. This sort of arrangement, at first, looks like a giant game of Tetris - looking for that perfect alignment when all the pieces just fall perfectly into place. Part of that process is calling the problem out for what it is - outline the problem and all the factors around it and then analyze the positives and come up with a plan that satisfies all the needs. If you can never outline the problem to begin with - if you can never say 'this sucks and here's why and how', how are you supposed to find a solution?

Companies like this use words like 'team player', 'independant thinker' , 'problem solver', 'self motivated' and, invariably they are offering what seems like good money. It is a salaried position where they abuse the hell out of you, expect more and more while providing less and less support and, if something goes wrong you will be the first to be scapegoated if you actually buy into their game and play it the way they lay it out for you. This is a red flag that a company is a no win scenario.

Let me get this straight....

Your not allowed to come forward with a problem under any circumstances until you've already solved it, regaurdless of seriousness.

Thats just ..... god I'm not even sure there's a word for how incredibly stupid that sounds.

This sort of thing is one of the many reasons that I am Glad I have AS.

[Moved from General Autism Discussion to Random Discussion]

^^^^^ So true. And never mind private companies, in the UK, the entire public sector discourse is now dominated by this mindless Skinner box behaviourism cr*p.

If you call it a challenge it'll stop being a problem! If you paste a fake smile across your face soon you'll be happy inside too! If you use the right words you'll get promoted .... er sorry, you probably won't. But if you use the wrong words (= call a spade a spade) you definitely won't be.

So the OP's father is right in the sense that this is how language is now used. It's not really an NT thing, just the wonderful world of work. There's not much manipulation going on because everybody knows it's just doublespeak.