Saturn wrote:
I am relatively new both to this forum and the idea of AS characterising, well, me.
On the one hand I recognise in myself a lot of the both the style and content of what is being said in this place. In that, I feel quite at ease here, quite comfortable, and quite encouraged to express myself and reach out to others.
On the other hand, and I don't know if this is just due to my current particular circumstances and general outlook, I feel, reading and posting here, somewhat empty and lacking in some way.
I think part of this is actually due to the adverts on this site. I don't know about you, but I persistently have in my field of vision when here: a monochrome sketch of some fat woman. an old/young woman peeling skin off her face, and a dying African child.
But I think it is more than this, although I can't quite put my finger on what. Is it that there is an absence of emotional connection between the participants here, unapologetic self-centredness, and too much logic? I recognise such a description as corresponding to my own writing here.
Am I just struggling to adapt from my other realities where, while problematic for me in many ways, there does at seem to be feelings that things matter?
Perhaps I am having something of a crisis of identity, i.e. elsewhere I am the slightly odd one and in particular ways and in so being I am able occupy and often monopolize that niche? On this forum, am I, rather, a little fish in a big pool of lots of other little fish who are very similar to me? So, while I like that there is a lot of like-mindedness, that same like-mindedness perhaps makes me feel less special or less identifiable generally.
How do I distinguish myself here? Is anyone interested, anyway?
What do you think or feel about this?
Oh I don't know. I don't have all the answers but I say that If you like it here just stick around and be yourself. I'm sure you'll find that you'll be OK and you will get used to it.
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