rude cashier at big box store

Post Reply New Topic

My mom and I were in a big box store the other day. We had an odd experience. These places have no customer service, since the corporations figured out awhile ago that such service adds nothing to their profit. That said, there are some good buys at this particular store. My mom and I were shopping with my two year old daughter.

We eventually brought our stuff and went to go through the cash express. My two year old stood behind us near a nearby food rack and refused to budge. Two year olds can be a bit difficult while shopping. As we went through the cash my mom and I were chuckling about my two year old's behavior. Mom said to me, "Oh maybe we should leave her here in the store then.." And she was smiling. Hahha. A small pun as we went throught the cash. Of course we think everything my two year old does is adorable, even when she is being a bit naughty.

This dimwitted cashier, a frumpy forty something woman with frizzed red hair, looked at us and said, "Well I wouldn't treat my child that way. Children can't be left behind in the store, after all, they are only children and can't do things for themselves but those are MY values." Then she shook her head at us. Her tone was quite angry and severe. Obviously she had taken my mother's offhand little joking comment seriously! As if we would literally leave my child behind in the store! My mom and I looked at each other, taken aback by the fact the cashier had interpreted the little offhand joke literally.

I told the cashier that she had no commonsense if she couldn't tell that my mother's comment was a joke. So then the cashier turns to me and in a snotty tone says, "You know what? If you don't like me why don't you call security?"

I said, "You're very rude. I'm going to complain to head office."

I said, "You are the rudest cashier I've ever come across. Your nuts!"

So then the cashier walks over to the other cashier and starts mockingly laughing at us. The other cashier would not meet her eyes, and appeared to be avoiding her and unwilling to acknowledge the first cashier's behavior.

My mother and I grabbed our grocery bags and went to leave with mom carrying my two year old. I turned and just felt really angry.

I said, "Your nuts." Actually I kind of yelled it at this cashier, since she was about five feet away by this time.

A very courteous manager was standing near us, we explained to her what had happened, and the manager said she would speak to the cashier. As we left the store the cashier appeared to be getting a reprimand.

It was very hurtful to hear such comments after coaxing and monitoring my beloved two year old around the huge store as we shopped. The reason we go to that store is mostly because my two year old loves the free cookie she always gets at the bakery.

Has anyone else had weird experiences with cashiers or other staff in those big box stores?

[quote = anandamide] My mom and I were in a big box store the other day. We had an odd experience. These places have no customer service, since the corporations figured out awhile ago that such service adds nothing to their profit. That said, there are some good buys at this particular store. My mom and I were shopping with my two year old daughter. [/quote]
First of all, nice setup. Also, I would like to thank you for not abusing the language. Plus I would like to indulge in a mini-rant. Feel free to ignore me while I do that.

Actually, the management don't know what the **** they're talking about. If people serve you nicely, you go back. It's like at an anual party. If people ignore you or are rude to you, chances are you won't go back to it next year. If, however, they come across as very friendly, chances are, you will. So while the presence may not gain them any money per se, the absence loses them money.

[quote = anandamide] We eventually brought our stuff and went to go through the cash express. My two year old stood behind us near a nearby food rack and refused to budge. Two year olds can be a bit difficult while shopping. As we went through the cash my mom and I were chuckling about my two year old's behavior. Mom said to me, "Oh maybe we should leave her here in the store then.." And she was smiling. Hahha. A small pun as we went throught the cash. Of course we think everything my two year old does is adorable, even when she is being a bit naughty. [/quote]
Again, a nice set-up. Since the cashier missed a social cue, is it possible they they are on the spectrum somewhere? I'm not saying that's it, just that it's a possibility.

[quote = This dimwitted cashier, a frumpy forty something woman with frizzed red hair, looked at us and said, "Well I wouldn't treat my child that way. Children can't be left behind in the store, after all, they are only children and can't do things for themselves but those are MY values." Then she shook her head at us. Her tone was quite angry and severe. Obviously she had taken my mother's offhand little joking comment seriously! As if we would literally leave my child behind in the store! My mom and I looked at each other, taken aback by the fact the cashier had interpreted the little offhand joke literally. [/quote]
Well, certainly a two-year old child can't do much for themselves but they can do certain things, varying with age. Anyways, even a new-born baby can breathe for themselves. They can't take care of themselves but they can do certain things, all that varys with age. While I appriecate it was probably hard in the heat of the moment, perhaps you could have made another joke. Something like "Well, she seems to have made a decision for herself." or "Oh really? Is that store policy?" If they say yes, you can say "Oh, I thought it was your values."

Now, I'm not making excuses for the cashier but perhaps people have left children behind in the store before after people have made a similiar comment and were expert at making themselves look jokey when they were in fact serious. A bit far-fetched maybe but still possible.

Again, the fact that took a joke literally points to them being on the spectrum somewhere, mayhaps?

[quote = anandamide]
I told the cashier that she had no commonsense if she couldn't tell that my mother's comment was a joke. So then the cashier turns to me and in a snotty tone says, "You know what? If you don't like me why don't you call security?" [/quote]
Here, you seem to be confusing commonsense with a particular instinct. Belive me, they're not mutally inclusive! But then again the DSM-IV states that spectrum people can seem lacking in commonsense which is another point for her possibly being on the spectrum.

If, however, they're just being snooty, then try being snootier then them. Act.

e.g.Calling for secruity is beneahth myself. one has servants to doh that sort if thing. Goodness me!

As you say that, try to sound scandilizied. Like someone has insited that you clean a toilet with your bare hands, no toilet paper, no anything. Just the bin. And no washing facilites about either.
((phonetic spellings))

[quote = anandamide]
So then the cashier walks over to the other cashier and starts mockingly laughing at us. The other cashier would not meet her eyes, and appeared to be avoiding her and unwilling to acknowledge the first cashier's behavior. [/quote]
Lack of eye-contact. Yet another sign. All too often misinterpreted as dishonest or refusal to acknowledge. [/quote]

Plus, how do you know it wasn't the 'sent to coventry' tactic where they are not only acknowledeging cashier # 1's behaviour but also informally punishing them? How do you know cashier #2 isn't like that with everyone all the time?

Actually, you may well have proved cashier #1's point without really meaning to. By someone carrying the child, you implied (to the cashier numero uno, perhaps) that she couldn't walk for herself. Illogicial yes but logic has no place in an arguement.

I finish by admitting that it's easier to nitpick a scenario when you weren't involved or afterwards but not in the heat of the moment.

Okay, no offense or anything, but you were kind of being a bit rude to the cashier, too. I'm not taking sides or anything, but I would've simply told her that I was simply joking.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, my mom was really po'ed at Best Buy. She was actually considering suing them! But we had to go back there a few days ago to get new ink for the printer in our study, and everyone was extremely nice to her. She said she received the best service there ever that day. The service I received was equally good as well. We don't really have any problems with cashiers or anything, especially at our local mall. My mom was the manager of it recently and all the employees seemed to know it. If they didn't know it and I didn't like the way they were treating me, I'd tell them and they'd get instantly nicer. My mom's no longer the manager of that mall but she does have a bunch of them in Georgia. Anyway, employees around here treat me excellently. Whenever I go to Limited Too, the employees are so happy to see me there that they give me a hug. And the manager at Disney Store even shares secret information with me before she even tells her employees! lol So yeah, we don't really have many problems with employees and cashiers. Only on really rare occasions we do.

Gotta say....the lady did sound a little "nuts".Possible that she was abused as a child and left her over sensitive to the issue but more likely(since she went to other cashier and tried to make a joke about it)
She is Bi-polar,effected by medication,Mildly DD,or a number of other possible DX.What she most certainly is not is "normal".She will eventually lose this job and probably shouldnt be working in an environment with people.Your response to her was "normal" in my opinion.She was treating you with disrespect and hostility and you reacted in kind.Sometimes I am swept up in the emotions of the person I am engaged in conversations with and sometimes I can distance my emotions and look at their behavior from a different angle. I have known so many people with mental health issues.I work with clients who are DD and often say illogical things and respond in ways that make no sense to me.
If I allowed myself to get dragged into their "delusions" I would spend my day in conflict,something I dislike.Sometimes the best response is no response,just excepting that their "behavior"is out of context with my reality and letting it go.That is VERY difficult for me because I do "persivate?"over interactions that perplex me.(usually assuming that I did something wrong).I think part of the function of this site,is sharing these bizarre human encounters for a "reality check" and just to stop thinking about things that have annoyed us.

So the reality is....This lady was nuts.To bad for her and her "victems",hope she gets help soon.

Thanks Krex. I think the reason I reacted with anger was because this cashier was berating my elderly mother. Well, mom is 62 yrs, not ancient, but still...I think alot of people would react with anger if some stranger was illogically berating their mother. Anyway, it was quite an unpleasant experience.

The cashier might have had mental health issues. Then again maybe she's just as thick as a plank. I've met a few people who were that thick.

As for that cashier being on the spectrum, well I did think about that afterward. If so she probably has no clue and has never even heard of AS. But what can I do except to feel sorry for her in hindsight. There are lots of undiagnosed people.

signholdaccountlost,

I was upset mostly because the cashier was berating my mother, the most wonderful grandmother any two year old ever had.

But you are right, and you make some good suggestions for how I could have reacted instead.