How to check if someone is an aspie...

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Positive.

I don't eat bananas so I don't even understand what is happening.

I think the banana usually has 3 sides, so when you pull on the stem in a direction it usually peels one side freeing up the other 2. In some cases it will split on one side and all 3 sides will go one direction - damaging the banana and making it hard to peel.

Albeit I had a discussion over the fact it makes more sense to open your banana from the other side/is less messy and looks a bit more like a actual peeled banana when you do. Which the other party didn't seem too impressed by from what I remember, and was quite irritated.

You can't peel it from bottom to top. Everything must go top to bottom.

Also, I've never damaged the fruit inside from a bad peel.

My banana issue happens when I pick up the bunch. I'll only eat bananas when they are
"just right". What this usually means is that I wait so long for them to be ripe, when I pick up the bunch, the bananas all fall off the big stem. That leaves open banana tops. I still haven't figured out how to keep my topless bananas from going bad at the speed of sound.

A paper bag made of dark matter no doubt.

Pfft, my suggestion is more practical.

But not as scientific.

FIIIINE! You win. Now, where does one purchase a bag made of dark matter?

CERN.. Give or take 100 years

Sweet. Now where did I park my time machine...

A barn that belongs to a farmer who doesn't own a gun.

Or somewhere out of the city where a old man can't steal it to travel to the future and change history.

Ah yesss. Nice man. A bit clueless, though.

I believe it's a "not knowing how much pressure to apply" kind of thing. Clearly, he held the part of the banana he was supposed to hold lightly with too much force causing the banana to explode before he opened it properly. I get it ... but still haven't been formally diagnosed.

That's happened to me many times, in the exact order.