10 types of people to meet at the swimming pool

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I like humorous sites like cracked.com or collegehumor.com, where you get lists like this. I decided to write my own, from my observations and the life itself. So here it is. I don't have any images or photographs, my cell phone isn't waterproof and I'm not that crazy to go photographing. But I wanted to write something like this for a long time.

10 types of people you're likely to meet at the swimming pool

People at the deckchairs
It is an indoors swimming pool and they have an hour paid, maybe two. Yet these people go besides the swimming pool, to a row of deckchairs to lie in and chat. I've heard some personal conversations in the pool itself, so what they discuss together must be some really private stuff.

A couple of girls.
A classy example found anywhere, a prettier and more sociable girl takes care of a less sociable friend and together they go places. A pleasant thing to carefully behold, specially when they climb into the water or out.

A lovers couple.
She's a pretty girl and he's her man. Together they do a fine job of reminding you of your loneliness.

A Gypsy family.


A 70 years old man who is more fit than you.
He's faster. He's more muscular. And he's decades years older than you. A true rock of ages and a living proof how today's youth are flabby and pasty couch potatoes. He probably earned Soviet Union a nice row of gold medals.

A senior discussion club.
This is a group of pensioneers, who decided to stop form a debating circle right in the middle of the pool, where they'll be most diffcult to swim around. Probably as a revenge for the bus seats occupied by youngsters. Sometimes you wish you had a group of buddies and you'd swim right through them on purpose, maybe they'd get the message.

Women blocking the front side.
Some people don't go to the swimming pool to swim but to talk. Another annoying kind of them are those who occupy the front or back end, one where you usually need bounce to reverse direction. They don't even think of hanging out at the side, what if they'd decide to swim forth once or twice per hour?

A man who has an entire lane to himself.
For some reason the much-needed space of the swimming pool is always narrowed by a line of floaters. And for some reason this is always occupied by a man, a formidable swimmer and probably a lifeguard's buddy.

Hyperactive kids.
They make you recall your times youth, when the chlorine water was your friend, when submerging below didn't make you lose your smell and taste for a week and when swimming ten feet to the bottom didn't make your eardrums ache and skull bones grind together. Needless to say, the kids have a great time running, yelling and spraying half of the pool by jumping "bombs".

A clerk lady at the male shower room.
For some reason when your hour of evening swim is over and you go to the showers, this middle-aged clerk/janitor lady decides it is the time to mop up the floor. A positive side of gender discrimination, a male janitor at female showers would cause an outrage. Maybe she has a crush on you, or just wants to get a peek at some young meat. On the way out, when you're dressed you notice she reads a trashy romantic novel with a cover picture of naked young couple embracing.

The "couple of girls" is me and my friend whenever we go somewhere (which happens maybe once or twice a year, when she's not too busy to take me - some friend she is!) - with her obviously being the prettier/more social one.

Also, I think your description of gypsies was really prejudiced. If you had been describing any other race of people in that manner, I'm sure this topic would have been locked by now.

Yep - It's the same everywhere.

Ugh. I used to love swimming to the bottom of the pool. Now I can't do it because my eardrums feel like they're about to burst.

Locked pending an edit for offensive content.

Unlocked so the OP can edit (after an agreement).

How about the heavy set person with a brightly coloured pool noodle? That would be me. :O)

There are reasons why people spend their entire fortune to build a fancy swimming pool inside their back gardens, you just mentioned 10 of them.

Young boys of 11 with huge moobs, proof of the crappy lifestyles of today. Infact, if you want to see the true scale of this problem, go swimming.

Young women in bikinis who have excellent figures and they know it, I feel like a frumpy old woman when I see them. I wish they'd go swimming in a tuxedo so I don't have to see their tanned, nipped in waists.

I think my pool is a little different to the one described. There are usually a few old men and women, an old Pakistani man (never any Pakistani ladies - the women only sessions have male lifeguards, oddly), sometimes a few kids, and occasionally an anorexic woman. It's a small pool, and usually quite quiet. There are no deckchairs or facilities of any kind just communal showers and changing and a toilet (thankfully not communal!). It was built in 1909 and I don't think many alterations have been made since then.

The people who pee in it

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9e5IFpEKrRI[/youtube]

As for the G word, I forgot that this is the Internet and that all kinds of people go here, all around the world, not just from my country. My apologies, I feel like a provincial bumpkin now. In fact, this topic was actually locked but the mod kindly edited it for me after I apologized. (damn, looks like I missed the deadline for edit!)

It's nothing personal, it's the wild urban tribes that cause so many problems in Europe. I could tell scary stories of what was happening in the district where I lived on a student dorm for last 3 years. In my experience, individuals usually live decently, but they must cut ties with the clan. It's an interesting topic for me, as my study is focused around public administration and sociology and my future job probably too.

What about...

Beer belly man
Chubby guy you generally see floating around not even moving his legs or arms and just relaxed as though he didn't care while the missus gets a tan.