Rules of the Internet
i. You can't the square root of a negative integer.
-1. /b/ is not your friend. No exceptions.
0. Negative Numbers are a Lie. No exceptions.
1. Do not talk about /b/.
2. Do NOT talk about /b/.
3. We are Anonymous.
3.14159265358979323846.... Expect us.
4. Anonymous is legion.
5. Anonymous does not forgive, Anonymous does not forget.
6. Anonymous can be a horrible, senseless, uncaring monster.
7. Anonymous is still able to deliver.
8. There are no real rules about posting.
9. There are no real rules about moderation either — enjoy your ban.
10. If you enjoy any rival sites — DON'T.
11. All your carefully picked arguments can easily be ignored.
12. Anything you say can and will be used against you.
13. Anything you say can be turned into something else. - fixed
14. Do not argue with trolls — it means that they win.
15. The harder you try, the harder you will fail.
16. If you fail in epic proportions, it may just become a winning failure.
17. Every win fails eventually.
18. Everything that can be labeled, can be hated.
19. The more you hate it, the stronger it gets.
20. Nothing is to be taken seriously.
21. Original content is original only for a few seconds before getting old.
22. Copy 'n paste is made to ruin every last bit of originality.
23. Copy 'n paste is made to ruin every last bit of originality.
24. Every repost is always a repost of a repost.
25. Relation to the original topic decreases with every single post.
26. Any topic can be turned into something totally unrelated.
27. Always question a person's sexual preferences without any real reason.
28. Always question a person's gender - just in case it's really a man.
29. On the internet, all girls are men, and all kids are undercover FBI agents.
30. There are NO girls on the internet.
31. TITS or GTFO - the choice is yours.
32. You must have pictures to prove your statements.
33. Lurk moar — it's never enough.
34. There is porn of it, no exceptions.
35. If no porn is found of it, it will be made.
36. There will always be more f****d up s**t than what you just saw.
37. You can not divide by zero (just because the calculator says so).
38. No real limits of any kind apply here — not even the sky
39. CAPSLOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL.
40. EVEN WITH CRUISE CONTROL YOU STILL HAVE TO STEER.
41. Needs moar Desu. No exceptions.
42. Nothing is Sacred.
43. The more beautiful and pure a thing is, the more satisfying it is to corrupt it.
44. Trying to edit the rules of the Internet with Japanese characters is like trying to make “2 girls, 1 cup” acceptable in society. It only works at A-con.
45. When one sees a lion, one must get into the car
46. There is furry porn of it. No exceptions.
47. The pool is always closed due to AIDS (and stingrays, which also have AIDS).
47-B. YOU DUN GOOF'D!
47-C. THE CONSEQUENCES WILL NEVER BE THE SAME!
48. A cat is fine too.
49. One cat leads to another.
50. Another cat leads to Zippo Cat.
51. No matter what it is, it is somebody's fetish. No exceptions.
52. It is delicious cake. You must eat it.
53. It is delicious trap. You must hit it.
54. /b/ sucks today.
55. If you have time to make up new rules, you have no life.
56. They will not bring back Snacks.
57. You will never have sex.
58. Desu isn't funny. Seriously guys. It's worse than Chuck Norris jokes
59. f**k Gaston.
60. It needs more pumpkin. No exceptions.
61. Chuck Norris is the exception to Rule #63, no exceptions or else.
62. It has been cracked and pirated. No exceptions.
63. There is always porn of a female version of a male. No Exceptions.
64. Don't copy that floppy
65. Anonymous is not your personal army.
66. The cake is a lie.
67. Anonymous does not "buy", he downloads.
68. Milhouse will never be a meme. Ever. No matter what your post ends with. No exceptions. Ever. No.
69. LOL SIXTY NINE AMIRITE?
70. Do not talk about the 100M GET failure.
71. The internet is SERIOUS f*****g BUSINESS.
72. Darth Vader is your father. No exceptions.
73. If there isn't enough just ask for Moar.
74. If you post it, they will cum.
75. Rule 75 is a lie. OH SHI-
76. Twinkies are the answers to life's problems.
77. The internet makes you stupid.
78. It will always need moar sauce.
79. Ceilingcat IS watching you masturbate
80. Interwebz177 did it. No exceptions.
81. Anonymous is a virgin by default.
82. Nobody tells the truth on the Internet
83. Only clusterfucks start edit wars.
84. All rules ARE true, including this one.
85. ret*d rules are forbidden.
86. The term "sage" does not refer to the spice.
87. If you get pepperoni ever again, I swear I'll blow this joint sky-high!
88. Anonymous rules the internet. No exceptions.
89. Bruce Lee was a hero to us all.
90. It's never lupus.
91. There is gay porn of it, no exceptions.
92. Chuck Norris is the exception to rule 91. No exceptions.
94. Fagicorn deleted rule 93. Crap to him.
95. Anonymous did NOT, under any circumstances, tk him 2da bar|?
96. If you express astonishment at someone's claim, it is most likely just a clever ruse.
97. The government, The CIA, Everything is a lie.
98. Only Zippocat is truth.
99. All numbers are at least 100 but always OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAND.
100. Faggotry will not be tolerated.
101. You are never THE BEST at anything, deal with it.
102. You are made of fail and AIDS.
103. That's no such thing as safe sex
104. The internet is for porn.
105. Rule 71 is SERIOUS f*****g BUSINESS.
106. Rule 109 is true.
107. "That's what she said" jokes are stupid. No Exceptions
108. THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!! !! !
109. Rule 106 is false.
110. If your statement is preceded by "HAY GUYZ", then you're doing something wrong.
111. If you cannot understand it, it is machine code.
112. What you click isn't always what you get.
113. Gamestop does NOT have Battletoads (or N64 games). But ask anyway.
114. Secure tripcodes are for fags.
115. If someone herd u liek Mudkipz, deny it constantly for the lulz.
115-B. I herd you liek Mudkipz. No exceptions.
116. Combo breakers are inevitable. If the combo is completed successfully, it is gay.
117. Always go out of your way to make newbies feel uncomfortable.
118. Newfags must be tortured to death. No exceptions.
119. Only newfags like caturday, Bruce Lee, and Desu. Those who like any of those refer to rule 93.
120. Nobody likes you.
121. Co$ is the sworn enemy of Anonymous. It must be stopped.
122. There is NO God here (Except Chuck Norris).
123. 456789
124. When Anonymous is surprised, bricks must be shat.
125. If you have no bricks to s**t, you are made of fail and AIDS.
126. shaMTV must give Rick his award. No exceptions.
127. No NewFaggots aloud.
128. Everything you know is a lie, but all those lies are nothing. So by using the transitive property we can conclude that everything = nothing and if you add an integer (x) into the equation we can single anything out and turn it into a certain amount of nothing explained by this graph e = everything n = nothing
---------------------------------
| _
| ___/ \
| ____/ \
|e/ \
|_______________\________________
n
As you can see, at a certain point of everything, nothing cannot exist. So in conclusion, I have no idea what I'm talking about.
129. BOTS will be dismantled.
130. Internet = Very Scary
131. Whatever it is, pie is involved in some form. No exceptions.
132. If it can't be killed, it doesn't exist. (Except Chuck Norris) No other exceptions.
133. If you met your girlfriend/boyfriend online then you are dating a one armed lady hooker named Steve.(Unless there is webcam involved, then his name is John.)
134. If it talks, you must shut it up.
135. Myspace is for thirteen year old girls and people who fit the description of Rule # 133.
136. _uck _our_self solve it.
137. Tuck yourself in. Is the answer.
138. Rule 139 does/will not exist.
139. Rule 138 is true.
140. XKCD can explain everything. Explain it or it goes.
141. Godmodding is ret*d. Seriously just accept your death.
142. Just ignore him he will think you're afk.
143. If you ignore her, she will b***h.
144. People can't understand sarcasm.
145. If you take it seriously gtfo.
146. Stop giving the mic a blowjob.
147. Regardless, if you get pissed on teamspeak there is someone that has muted themselves just so they can laugh at you.
148. You don't get any cookies. No exceptions. So don't even ask.
149. Brandon is God's son, making him Jesus. Chuck Norris has no son.
150. You are not going to get a handicap so don't even ask. They will just target you.
151. You will not get a free Xbox 360/Playstation 3/iPhone so don't even get your hopes up.
152. They didn't call you ret*d but they were thinking it.
153. It's funny to pick on people's grammar no matter how good it is. No exceptions.
154. The louder you scream at people the harder someone else will laugh.
155. They don't have hacks, you just suck really bad.
156. If you want to know who anonymous is then GTFO!
157. Someone already did it better. No exceptions.
158. It was in an episode of South Park. No exceptions.
159. The more you deny something the more they are going to say that you are "something".
160. Google ftw. No exceptions.
160-B. Lmgtfy ftw. No exceptions.
161. The guy next to you in the library is always looking at what you are saying.
162. The girl next to you in the library couldn't give a s**t.
163. There's a reason- you know what? f**k it. If you can't figure it out, you seriously need to LURK MOAR.
164. Refer to step 2 on Rule #165.
165. Refer to step 3 on Rule #93.
166. People who get depressed on the internet need a better use of time.
167. Fleshlights are the answers to life's problems. No exceptions.
168. If you pretend that you are drunk people will just think you're ret*d because no one can act drunk on the internet.
169? Nah I'll have 2 69s.
170. None of us is as cruel as all of us.
171. At any given moment, more birds could join, leave, or peel off in another direction entirely.
172. Use inside jokes moar. It upsets users.
173. STFU! Before i go Chris brown on you!
174. Only 4chan'rs unsuspecting victims hate Rick Astley.
175. The talk page is for spam. Don't go there.
176. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks children with the last name of Edgerton.
177. Tropicana tastes like the rainbow. No exceptions
178. Shadow sticks are fun to play with in the dark. Unless there are more than 3.
179. Refer to all unwritten rules. No exceptions.
180. For every life the internet improves it destroys 10 others.
181. Anything that's good is a virus.
182. We better start helping the earth, otherwise Al Gore will take back the internets!! ! NO MORE BROADBAND! NO DIALUP!
183. If i have 3 cakes and you have one cake, only here you have no cake and I have 3 ps3's.
184. The only potty training videos allowed are ones that feature tigers and are japanese in nature (english subtitles are acceptable)
185. The Internet and Golf are quite similar they both were invented for men to get away from woman, except the internet has porn.
186. Newfags must be shot in the balls on site. No exceptions
187. No matter how hard you try, you will never be as cool as ninjas playing guitars.
188. If none of these rules are followed/obliged to then Bruce Lee will donkey punch you to Uranus.
189. Bukkake is not cool. Never was. Never will be. EVER!!
190. The only good hentai is yuri, that's how the internet works.
191. You will always forget to add an attachment to your e-mails.
192. If you break rule 1 and 2. You will be rickroll'd in hell.
193. If you break rule 188. You will be spanked by Barack Obama.
194. If you break rule 2, Barack Obama will tickle your pubes.
195. People called Fred are just Fail. No Exceptions.
196. People named Tyler are just win. No Exceptions.
197. People named Matty are just sexy. No and I mean no Exceptions.
198. If it's not on Google, It does not exist. No Exceptions.
199. If it's not on Google, then you're searching with the wrong criteria, no exceptions
200. Pictures or it didn't happen.
201. Maths in failing:
Win + Fail = Epicfail
Fail + Fail = Win
Win + Win = Fail
Epicfail + Epicfail = Chuck Norris
202. Anontalk is a bunch of fags. No exceptions.
203. If you run out of cookies, give apples, If you run out of apples, Give Spam. No exceptions.
204. NEVER shoot anybody in the balls. No exceptions.
205. All Americans are fat. No exceptions.
206. Any breaking of pi will result in pi being broken. No one knows the consequences. You have been warned.
207. Rules 1 and 2 are false. From now on, all rules must be about /b/. Unless they aren't.
208. Rules 1, 2 and 206 are true.
209. See rule 208.
210. See rule 209.
211. srt8 must not marry MITB. No exceptions.
212. 4chan is funny. No exceptions.
213. Your mother is behind you. No exceptions, unless she isn't.
214. In case of an emergency, your emergency exit can be found in the top right corner of your screen. No, and i promise you, NO exceptions.
214-B. Except on a Mac. It's on the left.
214-C. Press Alt+F4 for an epic thing to happen.
215. Rule 213 is false. Do not click that button.
216. 3, is the magic number.... 3, is the magic number.... NO EXCEPTIONS!
216-B. 42
217. Creator of 4chan is mentally Disturbed. No exceptions.
218. Porn must only be looked at when porn is needed.
219. Google is not a calculator
220. Longcat is LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG. No exceptions.
221. ret*d NEWFAGS, should always be shot without warning NO EXCEPTIONS!
222. The game ended, wait a while before we start the next wave.
223. Only fa***ts add rules that don't go along with rule 93 no exceptions.
224. All rules above "PROFIT!" don't count. No Exceptions.
225. The Simpsons already did it. South Park already did it better. NO EXCEPTIONS
226. If a statement may be taken sexually in any way, then she already said it. No exceptions.
227. Creed is the worst band in the world. No exceptions
228. None of these rules apply to this wiki. No exceptions.
228-B. except the ones about newfags editing the rules
229. You never see the porn first, even if you made or drew it. No exceptions.
230. Hentai is you friend. No exceptions.
231. The number of friends you have on Facebook does not indicate the number of friends you have in real life. No exceptions.
232. You cannot control the person in charge. No exceptions.
233. The person in charge only wants to make your life miserable. No exceptions.
234. Rule 186 is the only exception to rule 204
235. PROFIT!
236. There is no more than 1 rule for 1 number. 234 is the only exception, all others can refer to rule 93.
237. P30P13 WH0 U53 1337 5P34K 4R3 N07 1337.
238. Every night when you are sleeping, Interwebz177 gives you pills that give you a boner then he sucks you dry.
239. That naked picture you took whilst drunk has never been removed from the internet, and will remain on a 50yr old man's hard drive for as long as he lives.
240. Rule 301 is false, it is occasionally Alex.
241. Everything fun on the internet is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
250. Additional Pylons are required. Always
255. Anonymous is an Internet Hate Machine. Wikipedia said so.
255-B. Wikipedia is never wrong. Your teachers were.
269. Yeah, finally...2 69's!
270. This is blasphemy, this is madness. No exceptions
271. 299 is a lie. This is sparta. No exceptions.
272. This is the end of the world, no exceptions.
273. 301 is a lie. The end is the beginning. No exceptions.
274. The lazah is broken right now. If you can fix it, you are legion.
276. The lazah destroyed rule 305.
277. Newfags will rape you so hard that Micheal Jackson will feal it in hell. No exceptions.
282. the rules on 313 were watching the lazah as well, and have wandered off blinded refer to rule 313 for more details.
283. Rule 278, 279, 280, and 281 tried to defeat the lazah, but got dazed with radiation and now can only see Ninja Unicorns, no exceptions.
284. What has been seen cannot be unseen. Even the post clearance that's coming up.
314. The day that pi finally ends is the day that the world will end. No exceptions.
315. Blockatiel is out to get you. No Exceptions.
316. Your parents know where you keep your porn, no exceptions. Keeping it on a flash drive doesn't help.
317. Anonymous is not sorry.
318. Standing safely behind Rule 319.
320. If your wondering where Rule 319 went, The Lazar (274) sent off too much radiation and it landed right above me. No exceptions.
321. Rule 183 is a lie; The cake is also true.
322. Rule 321 is a lie; The cake is a pie.
323. Rule 322 is true, although Chuck Norris already ate the cake.
324. The placement of rule 333 was s**t. No exceptions.
325. If you download but don't seed, Bruce Lee will rip your scrotum off.
326. There IS a torrent for it... you just aren't looking hard enough... Unless there isn't.
327: Kill it with fire!
328. There is an exception to all exceptions. No exceptions
329. I killed your mother.
330. Just kidding i did f**k her though
330-b. LOL did i mention she likes oral?
331. G.I.R.L = Guy In Real Life... No Exceptions.
333. Laser killed rule 332
334. Your SPOON WILL ALWAYS BEE TOO BIG.
335. Pokemon is serious bloody business, NO EXCEPTIONS, no exceptions.
335-B. Chuck Norris doesn't play Pokemon, he lives it.
336. There is not enough facepalms for this, introduced; The Facedesk. NO Exceptions.
337. Girls Can't Drive....Even on Video Games No Exceptions.
338. Big Brother is Always Watching You O_O.
339. Except when he's not.
340. Admins always suck more then Mods. No Exceptions.
341. Lobbywhores always get banned for Stupidity.
342. Two's company, three's a crowd.
343. Anonymous will update the rules every sunday night, no exceptions.
344. Anonymous keeps a copy of the unedited rules on his hard drive, along with all of your porn.
345. Perl will NEVER be the best language, no exceptions
346. Attempting to post anything on the internet which defines the rules of the internet will result in an UserIsAnNoobException.
347. Some rules just dont make sense... follow them anyways. No Exceptions
348. You and me could write a rad bromance.
404. This rule was not found.
405. Rule 404 WAS found, but then was lost.
666. Idle hands are Anonymous' playthings. No exceptions.
867. Jenny is not home, she will never be home. No Exceptions.
868. Making a Chuck Norris joke instantly turns you into a newfag. No exceptions.
999. ˙suoıʇdǝɔxǝ ou ˙ןıɐɟ noʎ 'sıɥʇ puɐʇsɹǝpun ʇ,uop ןןıʇs noʎ ʇǝʎ pɐǝɥ ɹnoʎ dıןɟ oʇ ǝɯıʇ ǝɥʇ ʞooʇ noʎ ɟı
1001. Amount of uses for duct tape for now. moar are being discovered!
1337. The last thing this should be is a rule. You failed by looking at this, newfag.
2012. Science doesn’t exist, God doesn’t exist, only Chuck Norris exists!
2013. Rule 2012 is a lie. So are the Mayans.
2014. Science just proved that the Mayans couldn't find a bigger rock.
2552. Remember Reach, no exceptions.
9000. You must be mathematically greater than 9000 to be over 9000.
9001. It's over 9000. No exceptions
9002. It's still over 9000, and always will be!
9004. If you're wondering where 9003 went, refer to rule 405, but think of "rule 9003" instead of "rule 404".
3756548. Your life depends on this.
3756550. You're floccinaucinihilipilification.
3799999. Rule #3756550 was supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
_________________
WP Strident Atheist
If you believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster, have accepted him as your lord and savior, and are 100% proud of it, put this in your sig.
04 Mar 2011, 9:17 am
