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EnglishJess
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13 Apr 2013, 3:48 am

I don't knwo if I'm the only one or not who doesn't like sitting next to strangers on buses. I often sit in the far seat so no one can sit next to me, but then the bus gets full and someone comes and asks me to move. Instead of moving over to the seat nearer the window, I get out the seat and sit somewhere else or stand.
But people might not like that. But I can't help it! I'm shy and don't like to be too near to people, or feel trapped by people! I mean, STRANGERS!! ! :cry:



Jensen
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13 Apr 2013, 4:24 am

I think, that it is a very common thing, - at least in DK. We are somewhat isolationistic :lol:
I can se other people getting uneasy when a stranger suddenly occupies the next seat, and many move to an empty double seat quickly, if possible.


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Krabo
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13 Apr 2013, 4:27 am

I share the feeling. It's easier to sit down next to strangers if you do it when dozens of people are rushing in at the same time.



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13 Apr 2013, 7:10 am

I hate it. And I also hate it if they come and sit next to me, not just on public transport but in waiting rooms too. I find it very uncomfortable if there are other spare seats and they choose to sit next to me, I sit there wanting to move desperately but worried that they will get offended and start saying things if I do. And I hate it if they start sniffing, or scratching, especially eating, or doing little bodily things next to me too. I feel like they are invading my space terribly.


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Aspiewordsmith
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13 Apr 2013, 7:33 am

I really do not like having to sit next to strangers. I usually sit next to a window on a bus or train when I need to catch a train or bus. I think with me there has been a security iss because when I was younger I din't mind sitting next to strangers until I experienced aspiphobic bullying during childhood and adolescence some of this was on buses. If a non allistic person sits next to me then it is not so bad I only feel uncomfortable with allistic people. OK if the bus is full then that can't be helped and also waiting rooms are a bit of a problem for me as well. I also hate sitting opposite any person who I really do not know and this may be an eye contact thing :arrow:



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13 Apr 2013, 8:00 am

I don't like it, but I accept it as something unavoidable. I don't think anyone likes it. Because I can't drive, I use public transport (mostly trains) whenever I go out. So I'm pretty much used to it. I just do my best to avoid it whenever I can and also keep my body off whoever happens to be next to me. Also if I can, I will try to choose to sit next to the least annoying-looking person out of all.



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13 Apr 2013, 8:19 am

I also feel uncomfortable in that situation. I don't know what that person's like. I don't know what that person's values and beliefs are. What if that person thinks I should have never have been born?


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13 Apr 2013, 9:43 am

whirlingmind wrote:
I hate it. And I also hate it if they come and sit next to me, not just on public transport but in waiting rooms too. I find it very uncomfortable if there are other spare seats and they choose to sit next to me, I sit there wanting to move desperately but worried that they will get offended and start saying things if I do. And I hate it if they start sniffing, or scratching, especially eating, or doing little bodily things next to me too. I feel like they are invading my space terribly.


I hate it because of above :P



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13 Apr 2013, 11:13 am

Me, too!

It can be invasive, sometimes intimidating.....

I do NOT like people trying to start a conversation.....I won't make eye contact, and act extremely absorbed by my iPad or knitting, or book.

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13 Apr 2013, 12:37 pm

I think most people don't like sitting next to strangers. But they may think it's rude if you get up to leave when they sit down, I know I would!



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14 Apr 2013, 3:44 pm

Every time I took a bus except for a couple Greyhound bus trips I was with my girlfriend so I had her sitting next to me instead of a stranger. I do feel claustrophobic like when it's crowded, especially when people are standing next to me & I'm usually getting bumped by their backpacks or people passing by because I'm usually not near the window. I posted about it HERE(linky). I didn't feel as on edge when I had strangers sitting next to me on my Greyhound trips but those buses have more space & are usually alot quieter. I haven't often sat next to strangers in waiting rooms thankfully & when I did it usually wasn't for long & we weren't as close as sitting next to someone on a bus so I can deal with it OK. What bothers me most about waiting rooms is when the places provide toys for little kids that make noise like those xylophone things they bang on or when they press a button & you hear a snippet of a song like. It's nice that those places want to provide toys for kids but providing those that make noise is being really inconsiderate of everyone else. When I'm going to the doctor because I'm sick I don't want to hear a kid banging on a xylophone near me or hear the same snippet of Wheels On The Bus over & over again :x


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14 Apr 2013, 4:21 pm

Not really a fan of sharing my seat on public transport, I'm a biggish bloke and end up jammed up in the seat uncomfortable, I don't have massive personal space issues unless someone is in front of me though. Other spaces like waiting rooms I prefer a bit of breathing space and it seems odd to me that someone would choose to park themselves next to you when there are plenty of other places to sit.


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14 Apr 2013, 4:52 pm

I generally try to take a seat where there won't be someone I don't know next to me, situation permitting. My sister and I do a lot of things together, so when possible we generally sit next to each-other, and I think that helps somewhat. If there's absolutely no other choice, I try to just grin and bear it, or keep myself distracted. Or if there's a bit of choice but not much, I pick someone that seems more friendly, but not... loud/talkative friendly. At things like lunches, I generally try to pick a fairly empty spot, and other people will come fill the seats next to me - not so much the other way around.

Thankfully, I haven't had too much trouble with people trying to talk to me; either they've talked with people they're more familiar with, the topics haven't been too uncomfortable, I've joined in briefly on purpose if the conversation was interesting enough, or they didn't try to talk with me despite there being no one else. Not to say there haven't been exceptions, or that others around me haven't been annoying with something else they've done. (Like there was this one guy across from me on the train, singing along with his iPod. Badly. And for most of the hour.)

Between being more quiet, having been taught a lot of things about being polite, and being uncomfortable approaching strangers, I generally just say little or nothing and wait until it's over. Not to say I haven't thought things like 'Oh please, don't do that. That's so distracting. Leave me be!'



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14 Apr 2013, 9:25 pm

Scia wrote:
I generally try to take a seat where there won't be someone I don't know next to me, situation permitting. My sister and I do a lot of things together, so when possible we generally sit next to each-other, and I think that helps somewhat. If there's absolutely no other choice, I try to just grin and bear it, or keep myself distracted. Or if there's a bit of choice but not much, I pick someone that seems more friendly, but not... loud/talkative friendly. At things like lunches, I generally try to pick a fairly empty spot, and other people will come fill the seats next to me - not so much the other way around.'
Same here except change sister to girlfriend & I pick people who look distracted instead of friendly; like someone quietly listening to earbuds, playing with their phone(possibly texting), looking halfway asleep or out of it like daydreaming.


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15 Apr 2013, 9:23 am

I don't particularly like it when a stranger sits next to me but there is not a lot i can do really.



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15 Apr 2013, 11:26 am

Yeah, I have had that before. What I currently do anytime i am taking the bus is that I scan the bud for the one wit hthe least amount of people around it. I also did that in school. Anywhere that people aren't sitting in the seats, that's where I sit. I won't object to being sat next to, because it is a free world (whateve rthat means), but I always prefer sitting alone.