This is inspired by a thread on another forum I post on, and two videos by Peter Serafinowicz. All you have to do is invent movie quotes. You can use real actors, invent character names and movie titles, or do whatever you wish. I'll give a few examples:
For instance, Will Ferrell, during one of his baffling improvisations, might plausibly say (even if it makes little sense, though a lot of what Ferrell says rarely does anyway):
"I'm greased up like a pony and ready to kick the [expletive]!"
His characters usually have monikers like Thermius LeGraté, or something like that, and I wouldn't be surprised if he appeared in a comedy film called Bigstar Supergrass: The Christ Revenges. Or whatever they call comedy films nowadays. So the format should be set out like this:
Quote:
"I'm greased up like a pony and ready to kick the [expletive]!" - Thermius LeGraté (Will Ferrell), Bigstar Supergrass: The Christ Revenges
Whereas somebody like Cary Grant, or somebody in a 'classic' romantic comedy, might say:
Quote:
"If you want to cut me out of your life, Elizabeth, just don't forget to frame me later!" - Capt. Alfie "Alfred" Roe (Cary Grant), Where the Swan Flies, So Shall I!
Anyone who's watched the romantic dramas of the 1940s and 50s (e.g. The Last Time I Saw Paris starring Van Johnson and Elizabeth Taylor), or some of the films in the film-noir genre, might be familiar with the long-winded declarations of love that are (usually) made by the male protagonists. It has a certain portentous rhythm and intonation that can be imitated and easily exploited for surreal effect. The resulting quote may, if you wish, seem absolutely demented to the sensible aspect of the brain, but its sound and tone would not be entirely out-of-place in movies of this kind. Here's one of my efforts:
Quote:
"There isn't a girl I would rather meet in the whole world than you, Denetia. You, unforgettable you. You make my thighs broil, Denetia, do you know that? I'm a tender, chastening steak in your arms. Every day, I wake up in a darkened room, pouring bottles of vinegar into a chamois glass, with nothing to show for it but a pair of soiled briefs and a label that just won't stick. But you, Denetia, you take me from that darkened room. You take me anywhere. You take me from the bath to the whorehouse. From Sunday through to Napoli. From Sappho through to Auden. From Caribou through to the Styx. Oh... if only life were so simple, Denetia. If only life could be found on a coffee table, waiting to be drunk. Kiss me. Kiss me now! As the poet says, "Suffer the kisses of life, and its flowers will smell sweeter."" - Johnny Pemberton-Syringe (Van Johnson), Thirty Minutes (and a Weekend) in Paris
And here are a few examples from the other members on the other forum:
Quote:
"My my my, but the owls are really screaming this morning." - Prof. Beaufort James Pumpkin (Brian Cox), New York Crazy Spree (2006).
"Blueberry boo, how y'doing?" - Samson Ballgame (Kevin Costner), Whackball! (1986).
"Poopa-doo, pal! Poopa-doo!" - Rory Assknees (Jim Carrey), A Whole Lotta Trouble (1998).
"Things never amounted to a great deal of bupkiss. But trisket, trasket, what's in mom's basket?" - Billy Gabtree (Tom Hanks), The Story of Billy Gabtree (2004).
"I never met a girl I didn't kiss. But in your case, I guess the smoochin's on me!" - Ralph Candida (Cary Grant), Murder Train Mystery (1954).
"I got half a pack of smokes left. Two dollars and a cherry gum pop. You got ten minutes before it's lights out, pal." - Kerrigan Bullins (Kurt Russell), The Last Shootout (1996).
Quote:
"We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender" - Jack (Bernie the Ape) MVP 2: Most Vertical Primate (2001)
But do whatever you feel like. There are no rules. The above examples are there to give you a gist of what the general result should be... approximately.
Ok, so off you go. I'm sure you'll come up with better and funnier quotes than me.
11 Jun 2014, 6:30 pm
