people who ask "how are you?"

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it's really annoying when people ask "how are you?" then get mad when you answer them they just want you to lie and say "good" even if you are not. then if you forget to say good some times they have to make a big deal about what you said. makes me angry because they obviously don't really care, so why ask a question you don't really want to know the answer to and if the only acceptable answer is "good" what is the point in asking the question anyway?

I had an embarrassing moment with this at an age where most people know the score regarding this (NT people I guess, that is).

I was in my 30s before someone actually told me for the first time "You don't have to answer with real details about how you actually are....nobody who says that actually wants to literally know, ya know" and laughed at me. I was so embarrassed. I'd gone through more than thirty years thinking the greeting "How are you" and "how you doing?" was a real question and I'd always given a real answer.

When this person finally said basically that he didn't even want to KNOW how I really am, it felt awful, and I started rethinking everything about that greeting and all the responses I'd ever given it.

It was something I had to actually be told and/or learn mechanically, that when people say things like that, it's nothing more than a greeting, not a question. But even though I know that now, it still seems frustrating and weird to me. I go along with it to fit in but it still seems like a confusing convention, to me -- because every once in a while it CAN be a real question asked by someone actually seeking the news....

I don't like giving out personal details to strangers so I just tell em I'm fine but I will actually answer the question if it's people who care like my girlfriend & my parents.

I don't like that greeting question but it's become my habit to actually say that myself. I don't even expect an answer when I say it.