Making friends

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I am an expert at making friends. I will give you an example of how I managed to become the talk of the school concerning my friend- making skills.
It was the first day of school. Well, not really, it was more precisely the return to school from summer break to grade ten. I had just got seated at my desk, and I was looking around to see who I was stuck in class with. I wished that I had the entire class to myself, but that is not a reality. Anyway, I'm looking around. . . . . there's doofus, there's genius ( drat him, he's always getting A+s and I only get As ), there's bully-brat, there's hot girl, there's WHAT! Hot girl is looking at me! Oh No! Look Away! Looking away, looking away, OH, Drat, not at that! That is not what we look at. Mommy told me so. I'll just look at something else. . . .OMG!! ! DO I SEEWHATISEE!! ! Yes!! ! It is on!! It is running!! It is gorgeous!! SMARTPHONE!! !! !! AAUUGGHH!! ! I gotta have it. If I do not have it I will lose my mind. Period. That simple. Quickly leap I out of my desk, a figure of courage and absolute resolve. Oops. My desk comes, too. Bad desk. Naughty, naughty stupid nincompoop darn wacky funky monkey knick-knack paddy-wack fiddle-sticked dummy desk. There. I nimbly extract myself from the wreckage and purposely claw my way across the great space between me and my best friend. Nothing could keep us apart, NOTHING!! !! !! !! Finally, I find myself at the foot of a great mountain wearing jeans. Okay, she is taller than me, forgive me for remembering her as a mountain. With one hand, I reach up, the perfect picture of a strong human, struggling through the mire of life, not stopping at the obstacles, but finally, though half dead, reaching upward to heaven to receive his rightful blessing, a smartphone. <Sniff> My hands clasp my friend. It is warm, and smooth, this friend of mine. I must hug it. Oh, don't forget the kisses. Big smooch! Yyeechhhh!! !! Someone must have been wearing lotion and then handled my friend! Poor guy. But you are safe with me, precious, little, cute, GRAPHING CALCULATOR? What?!? This isn't a smartphone?
Well, it has a color screen, so no wonder I made a mistake. Oh, well, you'll do. You are an electronic. I love you. I will never leave BOOMPH!! !! Ouch!! ! Ouch, ouch owwwyyy, MOMMY!! ! HELP ME!! !
That, my friends, is how you make friends. I've never had so many looks and admiring stares directed at me in my entire life the next day after my parents bailed me out of the bar room. I was popular! And the talk of the entire town! As I always say, "It works every time!" Try it, and tell me how you make friends!

The Clown

Hahaha

Lovely, hilarious, now my tea is over the screen, whipe whipe

At the supermarket behind the huggest filled shopping card, zen, smile to the poor little lady with all that,
not so much people want to line up here, eventually when most has passed the scanner, one couple dares this line, uh uhum no separation thing to be found, there's only one, damn, "They economise on separator bars", I confie, "but I'll keep a close eye on it", laughs for everyone, & have a nice day ladies and gentleman.

Like my comedies? Great! I'll make more. . . . . but I'll need your help. How? Suggestions. That easy. Simply write in what you'd like me to rant, rave, or whatever about and I will try my best. Have a descent day.

The Clown