Have you ever been told to toughen up and how?

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I don't know HOW to toughen up? Dad thinks I should to go get a job and stuff. With anxiety getting upset/emotional around people social issues "toughen up" but I'm not sure how unless I mask who I am. Pretend to be Dexter (from the serial killer show Dexter YES pretend to be a psychopath!) Or Sherlock Holmes intuitive book smart type. OR Twilight Sparkle with a clipboard on social issues don't say/do this or this/that. Then by the end of the day of being Twilight (now) I'm drained/exhausted. (Usually Twilight at home do/this that for family or chores either one then by the end of the day I'm exhausted/stressed.

Not sure I can do social scripts all DAY! at a job!

How do you toughen up without masking who you are???

No idea how to toughen up without masking who you're. Usually when people tell others to toughen up * been guilty of this too * it usually means to put on a mask of some sort. With guys it means to push down emotions as far as you can, so you're not seen as weak.

On countless occasions I have been told by those close to me to "grow up and get a job". Unfortunately I don't believe many on spectrum can simply 'pretend' to be more combative and assertive.