Happy for the first time in a long time????

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Hi WP. I understand there are those that go through struggles and are still going through them so no offense to anyone here on WP just my story (vent/rant of sorts).

I considered this more for random (rant) vs. the General boards. In the past I got kicked out of college and was depressed by this for many many years. Lately that was replaced by "social scripting" EVERYTHING! I've been on disability off on 06-2012 then 2013-2015 worried about staying on disability not moving forward with my life. Drowning myself in video games. Sure I finished college but a Bachelors goes no where just hanging on your wall. (Graduated Dec. 2014 so nearly a year.)

But denied disability again and at first OMG OMG! But now thinking on it? I feel relieved better?? "happier???" I can finally move on with my life. Try to find a job etc. I've surfed a few sites and will continue to look and have done most of the major retailers in my area with the holidays fast approaching. Am even going to post my resume online although I've never worked outside a 3 month Mcdoanld's job in 06 which was HELL FOR AN ASPIE!! !!

But my current thought is this realization. Autism doesn't define you is that ok or right???

I grab my ears due to sensory issues with clapping at my nephews baseball game. I also am blunt in my thinking too as I stood there watching him in the dugout not in the field IMO if I wanted to watch baseball I'll turn on adults on ESPN. I was there to watch my nephew play not a bunch of kids playing baseball. Also sensory issues I heard a roach move and panicked and tore my room apart to kill it and was clumsy and slammed my pinkie.

But those things are ok. Where before I feared taking the bus right now I feel empowered ready to conquer the world. I'll try my hardest at whatever job I get to be the best worker I CAN BE (so I can keep the job.) and unlike years of disability don't squander it on games. Save for a potential house? Put money back for bigger ticket purchases replacing a t.v. computer or cell phone.

I once worried OMG! having time to play games! But perhaps it'd be nice to only buy/play 3-4 games a year perhaps then not having 24/7 to play them you would enjoy them more and they'd last longer although I am hoping to stick to buying Nintendo games ASAP since they go off the market and they stop making them fairly quickly.

I've also made a list of shows/videogames that are "priority" and get back into learning programming. A few days ago OMG! I would be looking 24/7 for a job no time for programming OMG! your life will change OMG!

But is that such a bad thing???

I think this has gone on long enough. Wanted to say thanks WP for everything these past few years.

sign,Zeldapsychology