MERRY CHRISTMAS!

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Wishing all my fellow Aspies, a very merry Christmas!

You too

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
everyone felt sh***y, even the mouse!

Dad at the whore house, Mom smoking grass,
Had just settled down for a nice piece of ass.

Then out on the lawn there rose such a clatter,
I sprang from my piece to see what was the matter.

He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell,
I knew right away that the fat f****r fell.

He filled all the stockings with pretzels and beer,
and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.

He rose up the chimney with one hell of a fart,
that son-of-a-bitch blew my chimney apart.

He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight,
"Piss on you all and have one hell of a night."

All holidays matter.

BAH! HUMBUG!

(Only because that damned tall drink of water that lives in the den ate all my food in the refrigerator and freezer. It's bad enough he blocks my internet access, because, as he tells it, I'm always hogging bandwidth on my Mac mini every time I turn it in, as well as hog bandwidth with my iPhone and iPad. First off, can I help it if apple requires a person to redownload OS X every time one has to wipe a hard drive. It's also pretty sickening when my landlord is telling me I have to take this jerk to work, since this jerk has no car. I'm tired of all the disrespect I get out of him. I'm more than ready to call the Sherriff on him, since they have warrants for his arrest due to him driving on an expired Delaware License and Registration, as well as not having auto insurance, and taking out an electrical pole in an accident (First Energy has warrants out for his arrest for destroying their property.). Believe it when I tell you I'm ready to tell my landlord it's either him or me.)

Try this:
Chocolate chip cookies with Ex-lax for the chocolate. Make them while he's gone and leave them for him to steal. He won't be able to resist if he's a true food thief. He'll gorge himself on them and as a result be on the shitter for a few days (or longer) sh*****g his guts out.
I hate thieves and moochers of any kind so f**k him and his suffering.
I have never tried this myself but I've been told by others who have that it's an effective remedy for food thievery.

Maybe 2016 will be a better year for us.

What made my day today is the asswipe that lives in the den lost his job, due to theft from the deli and loss of cash from his register drawer where he used to work. He also has warrants out for his arrest. Since he's behind on his rent, the landlord is probably going to evict him. Once he starts moving out, with the assistance of his relatives, I'm tempted to call the Sherriff and have those officers execute those warrants in front of his family.

Me, practice scadenfreude? <sarcasm>NAH!</sarcasm>

If you do, make sure his stuff is pretty well cleaned out before the cops arrive, or else his family might decide to leave his stuff in your apartment till he's out of jail.

It was going okay until today. Oh well, there's always next year. I'll let out my bottom lip and clutch my heart. The two things that I'm first at doing.

Last edited by CockneyRebel on 26 Dec 2015, 11:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Merry Everyday!

I don't know, his family might even hand him over to the Sherriff when his deputies show up, since there's no love lost between his parents and siblings. Besides, even if his parents do leave his stuff after he's arrested, I'll just simply sell his stuff, and split the proceeds with the landlord, since this twerp owe me and the landlord money.

Last edited by Meistersinger on 27 Dec 2015, 1:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

For me it's pretty much over already but happy holidays everyone who's still doing something...

Thinking about it now, Christmas went well. I did all the things I was supposed to. Today got off to a bad start with my mum threatening to drive me home and I wish she did. I wish I was at my place right now to be honest. I wish I asked her to take me home before the bad start had a chance to happen.