I want to give my cat up!

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I CAN'T HANDLE her no more! She's too wild for me, she gets into everything, she gets in my toilet paper, my trash, my cords for my iPhone & iPad. She almost 2 years old, I lost my patience with her & she can cause a little anxiety. I was never very very responsible for a pet. This is my second cat, my first cat I had when I was living with my mom, she was helping me take care of her. When we got a dog, my mom got the dog when she was a puppy, she got the puppy for me, at night, I couldn't handle the puppy crying, I gave the puppy to my mom, I already had a cat, but I loved the dog too & the dog love me too, my cat & the dog were my best friends.

Before you do that, you might try a few tips and tricks, as there are things that can be done to alter a cat's behavior. Contrary to popular belief, cats can actually respond to training and behavior modification. It's sometimes slightly harder work than with a dog but it can be done.

Toilet paper: start a policy of always keeping the bathroom door closed even when not in use, so that your cat has no access to that room. I've had to do this and as long as you remember to keep the door closed, it's a simple thing that works, no more cat destruction.

Trash:
Get a trash bin she can't tip over, with a lid system that she can't access, or if you can find a cupboard to put the bin inside, can work too. Sometimes eliminating a naughty thing a cat does is all about just removing, putting out of sight, or improving the thing so that she can't mess with it anymore.

Electric cords and cables:
For one you have lying around to use, make a policy of keeping them in a drawer. When you need to hook up your device and have the cable in use, put the device and its cord behind something, out of sight, out of mind to your cat.

For other electrical cables, such as the ones around a TV, get one of those tubes that contain all the cords together in one "snake" that she won't be as interested in playing with. You can also get a cat repellant solution that is harmless to the cat but tastes bad, and if you rub this stuff on things she chews or plays with, she will be deterred by the bad taste and start to leave that thing alone -- works for plants too.

Other problems may include keeping an owner awake at night: Have an intense play session with her in the evening, then give her a meal. The activity followed by food will make her feel satisfied both in stimulation and her tummy, and she should settle down to grooming then sleep.

Other naughtiness in messing with things she shouldn't:
Go around your home "cat proofing" everything the same way parents of toddlers baby proof their home. You can even use some of the same things -- baby locks on cupboards if she keeps getting into cupboards; putting away and keeping put away small items that she might mess with or eat.

Make sure she has her own cat-specific toys to play with, and help her play with them daily, and a climbing "tree" help run off some energy too.

There are also a lot of great tips on cat behavior on Youtube if you search on specific problems.

Try these things proactively for a few weeks. If you truly give it an applied attempt to work with her behavior but there is still too mush stress being caused to you, then approach family and friends first, for a new home. Ask people you already know, love, and trust, who you think will take good care of her.

If no one will take her, find a good rescue shelter with a no-kill policy, who will rehome her for you.

Whatever you do don't put her in craigslist or give her for free to a stranger, and don't leave her somewhere, though I'm sure you wouldn't, just putting that out there. Some people do "give up" their pets in cruel ways and I'm sure you don't want to just dump her, but be careful who takes her. There are some very bad people around.

I understand how you feel. A few years ago I got a kitten who was also very wild. I would have scratches up to my elbows but dismissed that as only kitten playfulness. But he really didn't seem to like me at all, he would hiss at me even though he was just a baby kitten. I thought that he would settle down when he got older and was neutered but he didn't and finally I gave him away to someone who could put up with his behavior. My anxiety was really bad at the time, I was transitioning from my Asperger's diagnosis, my being dismissed from a home, my moving out of my parents' house and into a new apartment, and I guess some of it rubbed off on him or I just wasn't ready for a pet, and I'm usually pretty responsible with my pets. I now have two cats and they're much easier to care for and I've had them for what must be almost a decade by now. Cats and dogs have different personalities and you really have to choose one that best suits you.

But I still feel very bad and guilty for losing my temper and terrifying him one night. The wide-eyed look of confusion and bristling fur is forever etched into my memory. I'm starting to cry now just thinking about it, so I'll stop here.

Howdy. Hard to believe, but I thought I was going to have to give Waldo back to the Humane Society where I adopted him from because he was uncontrollable. He had 3 owners before me and he was just 1.5 yrs old. He used to come up behind me, grab my ankles and just start biting. I would never know when he was going to do this. He did other things too. My condo is definitely not mine - it had to be Waldorized. BUT, I got the "Cat Book For Dummies" and also watched "My Cat From Hell" for some pointers. When a cat does all of this stuff it is because it is lacking discipline. I got Mr. Waterbottle. Waldo hates Mr. Waterbottle. Mr. Waterbottle is what made him calm down and I've had him for 10+ yrs now.

I have had times when I thought I was going to have to give him up, but of course I wouldn't. When I have had my fill, I put him in his room with food and close the door for a while. Try to cat-proof your house first.

One thing about cats is that alot of owners find them difficult to deal with not because they ARE difficult, but because they dont understand cats.... yet think that they do. A cat is very different from other pets and requires that you approach things with a different mindset. And if you do, it works. I've had 3 cats. *All* of them listened to me. *None* of them ever scratched at me or anything (not on purpose anyway; on occaision one of them would be on my lap and start to fall off, and THEN the claws come out as they wake up, panic, and try to hold on). And I had their absolute and total trust. Even if one was hissing like a maniac at some scary thing outside, I could just pick the cat up and take it upstairs, no problem. They would calm down as long as I was holding them. Most people would not touch a cat doing that even if the cat is their own, and for good reason.

But this all worked because I took a bunch of time to make sure I REALLY understood them, and to understand cats in general. Having done this... honestly, the rest was easy. I just plain never had any problems from them (even from the big male), and it was a great relationship for both me and for them. And it's worth it; having a pet can be a truly great thing and can improve your life.


If you do the same thing, you can achieve the same results, and have a good relationship with a pet that doesnt act out or go berserk or anything.

As has already been said above this post, there are lots of resources available out there to help people truly understand their pets better. LOTS of resources. But they wont just come to you; you have to go find them, and read / watch them.

Sounds like my cat, with the addition of toileting problems.

Things I've done so far to control his behaviour:

- Put my bin in the cupboard under the sink (and then he figured out how to get the doors open, so I have to bar the cupboard doors shut now as well)

- Never keep food items on the benchtops, loaves of bread, tubs of butter etc, or leftovers in the sink because jumps up there and gets into them.

- Keep the bathroom door closed (it's not my toilet paper he likes, it's my bin full of feminine waste)

- Keep my bedroom screen door shut since the flyscreen is broken at the top and he climbs up and escapes outside (only to the balcony of course, I don't think he has the courage to jump off. The flyscreen is actually broken because of him since his weight when climbing up to the top of it pulled the mesh out of the frame)

- Lock him in the garage when he's being naughty and bullying my older cat, which is usually a nightly occurrence (then he proceeds to bang himself against the garage door and climb all over my car scratching the paint until I let him out)

- Put him "to bed" every night in the laundry at about 10pm with his daily food.

Still trying to correct his toilet problems to no avail. I literally nuked the laundry floor last weekend and lo and behold he's piddled on it again.

With issues like all of that I can't even pay someone to adopt him. And I can't take him to the rescue groups because they'll guilt trip me and blame me for all of his problems. The way they treat you when you're only browsing the cats they have and not adopting, imagine what they'd be like when you're giving them another one to look after.

He's the cat I can tolerate but not love, though he does have his cute moments sometimes.

I DON'T WANT her anymore! I'm not responsible enough. It was my sister stupid idea to get a cat & make me take care it, when me & my sister was moving, we were fighting over the cat, who will get her, I should let her have the cat, but I fell in love with the cat. Things gotten so bad that I want to open the front door & let her runaway, I know that is pretty bad of me.

Why don't you give her to your sister? One thing she, like all creatures, needs is love and understanding. It sounds like you can't stand her which is going to create a stressful environment for her and only increase perceived 'acting out' which will then increase your animosity.

Please, please please don't open the door and let her run away. Contrary to popular belief, abandoned cats turned out onto the world to fend for themselves after a life of domestic safety live a miserable and very short existence. Please do not do this to this poor animal.

Even though you've lost all feeling for her, you have to remember she's only an animal and she can't help the things she does that you don't like. She's not trying to ruin your life, she's just deeply unhappy. She's a sentient being with humans in charge of her fate, and she deserves to be helped even if it's only that you promise to find her a loving home with understanding people.

There are cat people out there who know so much about cats that they are willing to take on a "problem" cat because they know that most behavior can be addressed.

Or how about your sister, since she wanted to keep the cat originally?

PLEASE ask your sister first, as she is the best possibility. Tell her the entire situation; describe to her what you've described to us, and that the situation is serious because you're at the end of your rope.

If she realizes fully how near the end of tolerance you feel with this cat, she must surely realize she must take the cat so that nothing worse happens, such as you dumping it out.

Please give this cat a chance to find someone who will love it and work with it.