Were you ever a bully? *Honesty Time!*

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Okay I know lot of you's have been victims of bullying (so have I) and I have heard some of your stories.
But this is your chance to come clean were you ever the bully? Did you/have you bullied someone? Do you feel bad about it? Have you learned from your mistakes? Did you apologize to the victim? Why did you bully?

When I was 5/6 years old I used to bully this girl called Kate with my "friends" we used to say things like your stupid, you have ugly shoes get new ones, You have messy hair etc. Yeah really mean things. The reason why I bullied was because I wanted to have friends especially with the "bully" girls because I thought they were cool so I followed what they were doing. But I think the main reason why I bullied Kate was because I was afraid the "bully" girls would turn on me and start bullying me instead of Kate. (Which they did before) I was a coward I bullied Kate along with to save my own butt. I feel bad for doing so and regret. But I remet her again in when I was 12/13. She forgave me for bullying her and knew I was scared of the "bully" girls and became friends. And another funny thing is I met one of the "bully" girls again in high school and she was the same unfortunately she is still a bully and up to the same tricks and she was when she was little. I made sure I stayed clear from her and not be friends with her again.

Honesty - I don't have much of a choice. And nope, not that I can ever recall. Maybe I was not interested in other children enough to bother bullying them? Morality isn't completely developed in young kids of course, so I doubt it was for ethical reasons. I also have problems understanding social hierarchy and competition, so no motivations there. Closest I ever came was telling a younger child in highschool who had attached herself to me because she had no friends to go away, I didn't want to hang around her, because that, also, was true.

Yes, at least a couple of instances I remember.
But first, I need to go into what I experienced in high school and how it perhaps taught me the wrong values. I was the short and stocky kid with hearing aids which made me an easy target. I was the kid in PE class that was the biggest klutz with any type of ball in my hands, and would always get my trunks dropped from behind a the freethrow line in the gym while attempting to get at least one basket to satisfy myself if nobody else. All I got instead was laughed at because my shorts were down to my sneakers and I was standing there in front of everyone in my tank top and jockstrap with the basketball in my hands.
Moving ahead to college, I made a committment with myself that I was going to try and fit in. I took the only varsity sport that I thought I had a shot at not making a compleat buffoon of myself with which was wrestling. This was the middle 1980's where the big jock/preppy war was in full swing on school campuses. To be "compliant", I took part in helping my wrestling squad harass the Izod-sweatered and Sperry top-sided members of the water polo and rowing crew teams. We would do things like boobytrapping doors so that a bucket of something would fall and ruin their trendy designer clothes.
The next time I remember active bullying was in the workplace where the generation gap of middle agers like myself clashed with the twentysomething "hiphop" generation. We "oldie" employees would take pride in squealing on these kids everytime they broke company rules, and did our best to railroad them out of the place one way or the other.
There, I've come clean.

I did when I was still in kindergarten and at the start of elementary school. Me and my friend would call someone names. Not to make excuses but I was influenced by my friend who took the leading role. I didn't know any better yet either and didn't take pleasure in it. Ironically I developed a strong sense of justice in the following years and would often grill other kids because I didn't like the look in their eyes. It's hard to explain, but I could tell they were bad to the core. Like on a genetical level. Some people were born to take pleasure in hurting others. My dad was the same as me, he was a fighter as a kid. I feel a strong hatred and aggression when I see injustice. I don't act on it anymore though unless I'm expected to, like when a woman is harrassed on the streets.

I can think of a few occasions in my younger teen years which I'm less than proud of. Luckily, I quickly realized just how hypocritical and destructive it is to compensate for being bullied by bullying others.

I sometimes still feel like I ought to go back and apologize for the 2 or 3 incidents where I actually acted like a bully, but I doubt those people even remember me, as they (like me) had to deal with some real scumbags who who pester them continuously for years.

yes, much to my shame. Two incidents. I think I was about 14 or 15.

There was a boy in my peer group. He had been our friend. He had been my friend. But for whatever reason, likely for no reason, the other boys turned against him. As happens, we would roast each other a little, but what happened was something else. There was never an occasion where I joined in to his face, but that was more lack of opportunity than anything else. But I was cruel about him when he wasn't around, and never stood up for him. Nor did I reach out to him when I heard he'd decided to leave the school.

The other happened during a science class. There was a girl who was a bit odd and ungainly. Looking back, she was just way ahead of the rest of us (boys and girls) in maturity (physical and mental). But the others sitting round my worktable started picking on her, mocking her. I joined in. She was obviously in earshot.

My social 'thing', as long as I can remember, has always been to go for the joke. When I was younger, I was far less understanding of, or interested in, the impact they can have. I just wanted to be funny. There's doubtless been other, one-off mean remarks I've made that have cut deep or added to someone's hurt but that raised a laugh.

I felt like s**t after these. Disappointed in myself. Unfortunately I never apologised.

When I was in middle school, when I was being bullied, I would talk back at them. I don't know if that really counts as bullying.

I also wasn't nice to people who I didn't like and have talked about past friends behind their back to seem cool (that didn't work at all).

I've been accused of being a bully when I was defending myself or thought I was doing friendly teasing or having meltdowns but my intent was never to bully.

I leave people alone until they start bullying me. When defending myself, I'm ruthless.

I was, though not for very long, and, especially, not a successful one.

Edit:
I thought the thread title said. Were you ever bullied?" so this is what I wrote:

In isolated incidents, yes. In middle school someone would surprise me by blasting an air horn near my ear and it made me go into a frenzy. It happened repeatedly and unexpected because I am sensitive to certain sound pitches.

Until I had enough. He did it again but I pushed my desk forward, injuring his arm but I ended up getting a referral and suspended from school for 3 days even though I explained what had happened to the teacher.