Unhealthy Sense of Entitlement

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It's gone too far. Claire Fox, the director of the Institute of Ideas in London, gave a speech to a group of young Muslims, and suggested that mocking the prophet Muhammad was no reason for the atrocities that happened at the Charlie Hebdo office. She hadn't gone very far in her speech when she realized that she had offended the group by neglecting to say the word 'Prophet' before Muhammad's name, and that this alone causing those young Muslims genuine distress.

At the second school, Ms. Fox talked about whether Ched Evans, a professional footballer who was convicted of rape. She asked if, on his release, should he be allowed to play professional football again.

(By the way, Mr. Evan's conviction was subsequently quashed, and he faces a retrial in October, 2016.)

Source: Irish Times Article

In the article, Ms Fox (the author of the book "I Find That Offensive") claims that the easily offended are less able to cope with life. She goes on to say ...I would add that every benign remark is over-analyzed for every possible form of insult. It is impossible to have an intelligent and informed discussion - verbal or in an on-line forum - without offending someone.

What's going to happen to these people when they grow up and have to face job interviews, meetings at work, court appearances, and deal with their neighbors or their own children?

Her final quote from the article reads ...Of course, she has her detractors. How dare she speak the truth to people who take offense at having to hear it?

I really don't think young people have a greater sense of entitlement than previous generations. The oldsters and the youngsters are probably about equal in that sense; however, the focus is different: Oldies want the status quo, and youngsters want social change. Many more socially aware youngsters are concerned with social justice, which is a noble cause in principle.

The issue with the disrespectful depictions of the Prophet Mohammad is out of place. She doesn't seem to know much about the lived experience of marginalized people. Why was she trying to lecture Muslims if she was so embarrassingly ignorant of their culture that she didn't even know what words to use to refer to their religion? She sounds like she has a massive sense of entitlement.

High five to Fnord.

Okay, so my husband and I are 39, so we are "Generation X." We have a two year old. Most other parents who have kids our age are Millennials- young enough to be our kids. Yes, I realize that technically makes me old enough to be my son's grandmother.

Anyway, we have noticed that Millennial parents don't just let their kids play. They're always jumping in with suggestions of HOW the kid should play. "Get up on the duck!" "Slide off of this!" "Why don't you run around like this [displays "how" to run around]"

They don't just let their kids play. How is anyone supposed to learn to think for themselves if they aren't even left alone to play? All I do is make sure my son doesn't run off or seriously hurt himself. I feed him and keep him clean, but I don't tell him what to do with his free time. If he wants to build his train tracks backward, or spend all of his time at the park looking at ants instead of using the equipment, how is that my business? If I "corrected" him, he wouldn't develop his own ideas and ways of working things out.

As to the being offended thing. It seems to have been ingrained in young people's minds that some ways of talking are the same as physically hurting someone. Bullying is viewed as something that destroys lives and people must be hypervigilant against it. Frankly, this is the main reason why we're planning to send our son to private school. I'm sure our son will pick up words from us and a matter of fact way of dealing with people that isn't popular in tender social circles. I don't want him to get in trouble for acting like a regular person instead of a delicate flower.

Thank you, SOA!

I'm of the "Boomer" generation, perhaps the last to fully enjoy any kind of free-range childhood that did not include beind tethered by cellular communications. We roamed the woods and fields as much as the streets and neighborhoods. If we wanted to talk to our friends, we got up off of our butts, walked over to their houses, and talked to them. If we wanted to play games, we rounded up our siblings and friends, and went to the biggest yard and played outside until the street lights came on.

We fought with each other, played with each other, called each other bad names back and forth until those names lost all their meaning. "Fight your own battles" was our parents' mantra. We would come home bruised and bloody, but we eventually learned how to make friends, get along, and grow up!

Of course, there were the bullies, the abusive parents, and the old people yelling at us to be quiet and stay off their lawns, but for the most part, our activities were not micro-managed, and very few adults even tried to play "Camp Counselor" for us.

Why this rant?

Because I agree with the idea that some people really need to stop letting themselves get hurt by mere words. REAL hurt is physical, words come and go.

Falling off a bicycle in the brickyard hurts - being called a blockhead doesn't. Lesson learned: Don't take short cuts through rough ground at full speed on a hand-me-down bike.

Getting bit by a stray dog hurts - being called a dog or a son-of-a-dog doesn't. Lesson learned: Stay away from stray dogs.

Breaking your middle finger hurts - getting flipped off doesn't. Lesson learned: Don't try to catch a line drive without a fielder's mitt.

We got out there, we did things, we got hurt, we learned what REAL pain is like, we learned how to deal with pain by avoiding those situations that caused it, and we learned to deal with verbal abuse by ignoring it.

We grew up!

I don't understand all the picking on Gen Y. Just because they had to adapt to a different society and different technology doesn't mean they do everything wrong.

I know someone who became a parent late in life, a Gen X'er, got their kid at the same time many Gen Y'ers did. It is a very reasonable person that I grew up with side by side. And guess what? They got more the parenting style of a Gen Y'er. That tells me it's a lot about what exists today and less to do with when someone was born.

There is an endless cycle of one generation irritating the hell out of the generation that came before them. The two most common phrases I hear associated with it is "back in my day" and "kids these days." I bet you can find plenty of examples of these two thoughts in the writings of every generation in modern history.

the ancient romans complained about their young people.

It is not so much the young people, it's their political correctness and the SJWs that support them.

I'm Catholic, but IMO, other Catholics who believe that being Catholic is the coolest thing ever are idiots!

{Example: Going to church is like being in HS all over again! So many cliques! }

There is definitely some of this going on. I'm fully aware of this. I started realizing it when they moved "my" music to the oldies stations.

Frag I know it probably does sound like picking, but I think it's more frustration and being concerned. The older Boomers and the Veterans were concerned about us soulless Gen Xers. It turned out not having beliefs and being addicted to TV somehow made us good at keeping our heads down and working. Millennials' big obvious strength is at working in groups. This could possibly translate into better family retention than other generations, but that's just my guess I haven't heard anything.

My point is that I'm not just griping about young people. I do specifically have concerns about what Fnord brought up- the independent decision making and the political correctness.

Here's an example. I have a young family member- I guess she's technically a Gen Z, but still I'll use her as an example anyway- who once spent a good deal of time telling me about her stepdad's "verbal abuse." Her stepdad is also in my family, so I knew what she was talking about. He has a plain way of speaking and if someone does something thoughtless he'll say something like, "That's ret*d" or "Don't be stupid." To young people, that's like calling them the N word. It's hard for me to accept that anyone can take this so seriously (despite an actual ret*d person), but it really is that serious for many younger people. I told her that my generation just used those words (and worse) and she should remind him that it hurts her feelings, every time he uses an non PC word (like ret*d) and maybe let go of things like him saying something is "stupid." NOOOOO. She would rather go on believing that her stepdad is a "verbal abuser."

I was exhausted after this conversation. I didn't know what else to do. Maybe she'll grow out of this, but I don't know. I hear many adults talking like this too. They get their feelings hurt very easily and have trouble working their way out of things.

The opening anecdote is not even an example of what the OP is complaining about.

Putting "Prophet" before the name "Mohamed" is a 14 century old custom. Its not some new "trend" in "entitlement". And the custom is kind of a practical necessity anyway. "Mohamed" is the most common given name on the planet (millions of men in the Muslim world are given that name). So if you're addressing a crowd of Muslims it kind of necessary to put the honorific before the name when you're talking about the guy who founded their religion so they know that you're talking about THAT Mohamed and not about one the millions of other famous, and nonfamous, guys on the planet also named "Mohamed".

About the rest of the rant: it's hard to say.

Society has gotten less hung up, and more free about some things, and more hung up, and less free, about other things since the mid 20th Century.


It does seem puzzling as to why there is this sudden obsession with bullying by adult authorities and the media nowadays.

But on the other hand previous generations didnt have the internet and social media to extend their bullying beyond the playground either. So maybe the problem is bigger now, so its right that the concern about it should be bigger than before. Its a different world now.

I read the article, and I agree with this woman----and, I DON'T agree with the psychologist who countered her, at the end of the article (OF COURSE, she was speaking generally----CALM yourself).

This goes-along with the thread, on here, about us over-correcting, and the story I've told a couple of times, about the mother who sees her kid toddle-across the floor and fall-over (the kid isn't hurt / isn't crying, but the mother's reaction makes him scared / cry).

I also agree with what this woman said, in the article, about girls making themselves out to be victims, over the slightest thing----I believe it "hurts" girls' cases who have TRULY been victimized by someone (as in, beaten / raped, etc.)----PLUS, boys / men are being terribly oppressed, nowadays, and I'm quite SICK of it!!

I also agree with this Fox woman (and the psychologist at the end) that these "safe places" at colleges is only enabling these kids to continue to be wusses----she SHOULD be calling them, "Generation Narcissists", maybe, cuz that's all, it seems, that parents are pumping-out, today. (I'm currently working with one..... He said he wants to be payed a decent wage (15 dollars an hour). I asked him if he'd been to college, he said "No"; then I asked him if he'd been to a technical school and become certified in something, he said "No"; I THEN asked him why he thought he deserved 15 dollars an hour!! He didn't like that. I wish I hadn't have said this, because after lots of hours with him, I realize he's a narcissist, and it is IMPOSSIBLE to get one of them to look in the mirror----but, you can best-bet he's keeping a tally of what he feels are my slights to him, and he'll burn me badly, one of these days!!)

I recently read about this company that goes to work places to teach classes on how to deal with narcissistic bosses, and how their business is BOOMING!!

It's a sad, sad day in Mudville.....

I will say this about the lady in the OP: only an idiot cuts his arm off and thinks it makes him stronger. Resilient in the fact he survived it perhaps, but not stronger. Strength comes through collaboration in numbers, not by cutting down those you are attempting to collaborate with. That at it's core is the problem with bullying in general, it affects the output of the entire group, not just the individual bullying and the individual being bullied. Now imagine if the bully just went about his business and contributed to the group-- that's output; likewise, the bullied can focus on output as opposed to constantly defending himself. The others in the group can concentrate more on output because they don't need to worry about when the bully will change targets, and the administration (boss, what have you) has to spend less time on personnel management and has more time on managing the task at hand.

So in an 8 hour work/school/what-have you day, if 2 hours are spent by all the members arguing and fighting over who's more powerful and should get the largest slice of the pie, that's just plain 25% less pie for EVERYONE, because even the largest slice is now smaller since the group is producing less. From an efficiency and even from a greed standpoint, bullying is not useful. Of course the bully is so narrow-sighted he only sees that he got the largest slice, not that it's actually less than he would have received had he not caused problems and just taken one of the smaller slices.

Eating s**t because society deems it acceptable will not make anyone stronger, it will only make them produce less.

Are you referring to the softball field in Herkimer New York?

IDK I'm referring to the book / poem / whatever, that says "The mighty Casey has struck-out".

That would explain why all the young (under 25) people we bring on at work are universally like robots: they will literally do nothing all day unless continuously directed and if left on their own will just sit or stand in one spot. It's frightening how many in their 20s and even 30s have the abilities of a child and cannot function on their own because they were never allowed to think for themselves. I also saw something last night that utterly shocked me: children were out having a water balloon fight and NOBODY was directing them! You never see kids just out playing anymore unless it's on their %@#$ phones.

Yes, I am a 33 year old grumpy old man