I'm being stalked by my neighbor and don't know what to do.

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I have this neighbor guy that lives in our building in the condo that's in front of my friend Mary. He just moved in probably about a couple months ago. He's a divorced guy, I think about 61 yrs old. Anyway, since he moved in and saw me, he has talked to my neighbor friend Mary about me and asking a lot of questions to the point that it made Mary uncomfortable. When I come home to unload groceries, he just sits there watching my every move. I'm on the HOA Board and he now comes to every meeting and just stares at me - people have even noticed this and commented on how weird it is. Me and Mary used to sit outside and knit and talk "girl talk", but now he comes out and tries to sit as close as he can to me and just stares at me - I don't say anything and I finally get up and leave (when I left this last time, Mary said he just kept asking why I had to leave to go to bed). Now he knows when I go to work and get off and he was out there again this morning when I came home from work watching my every move. I'm creeped out and sickened by this idiot. Mary said she would try to say something, but that would only make the problem worse. Mary said he's attracted to my hair and won't quit talking about it. Makes me just want to cut it off all the way to my f'n scalp! I have no idea if this is going to escalate more or not. Ma said that I should get off the HOA Board, but I don't do anything as it is and now this creep has made it to where me and Mary don't knit outside anymore. I don't even pretend to act nice to him, but that doesn't seem to bother him in the least. I don't know what to do.

That's creepy.

Difficult situation really, because he hasn't done anything wrong as such.
Is he autistic at all?
Perhaps he is visually stimming by looking at your hair.
I do this too, but I like to think I'm not as obvious about it.
Just a thought.

Perhaps having someone talk to him would be the best option to persue at first.
Maybe a male person, I'm thinking - in some position of power - if there's anyone you know like that?

You could cover your hair when you're outside, but you shouldn't have to.
He needs to be made aware that his behaviour is making you uncomfortable.

I don't know if he is autistic or not. He gets upset if I put my hair up and Mary tried to explain that I have to put it up for work. He must have really been upset the last time he saw me because I had my jammies on and my hair up in Turbie Twist. He seems a little slow and he has lost 4 jobs so far since he has been here. It's not like he doesn't know what's going on, though, because he'll pick up on intricate information that went right over my head and he remembers everything. Even if someone makes him aware of the problem, it will only make things worse. I thought it would just peter out with time, but nope. If it's an obsession, isn't it only going to get worse?

You could put a hit out on him.
No, bad idea.

Buy him his own wig to fondle?
eek.

My mother got the police out to talk to her neighbour when he was aiming his security camera in her back yard.
It's kind of the same thing - an invasion of privacy.
Not that I'm saying you should call the police.
Unless you think it necessary.

I'm not sure why talking to him would make things worse.
If he continues to think his behaviour is acceptable, wouldn't that tend to make him feel more entitled to indulge his obsession?

Do not assume that this person is sick just because they do not pick up on social cues, what you have described is a trait that I notice commonly with many autistic people that are unsure and unable to interact. I knew an autistic boy aged 13 who said he wanted to marry a girl in his class when he was 16. The fact he said that wasn't to do with the fact he was sick he was unable to realize how his behavior was bad.

Picking up on intricate information is different from picking up on social cues. I would say your friend should probably tell him that you do not want to be around him, and that he is making you feel uncomfortable. If he is not made aware of his own behavior I am not sure if he will be able to keep a job or all those things you say he is finding difficult. And if he goes near while you and your friend are talking maybe don't try to hide your concern, say openly, "I don't want to be around you."

Again sorry if your experience is different.

I don't mean to scare you, but I suggest you carry pepper spray (if that is legal where you live). I'm not sure if the police can do anything at this point, but it shouldn't hurt to notify them of this guy's behaviour. They may also be able to advice you about what to do in a situation like that. If he enjoys what he is doing why would he stop doing so? I doubt he'll just get bored and stop if this has been going on for a while. We're not talking about someone who is occassionally looking or even staring at you when they happen to be at the same place, but someone who is actually stalking you. DO NOT talk to this person unless absolutely necessary, it could make things even worse and potentially dangerous for you. And again, I don't want to scare you, but be sure to lock your doors. Don't take this matter lightly. He might be totally harmless, but do you really know?

Edit: I want to add that you shouldn't believe everything the police says if you try to get advice from them. I wish you good luck!

I don't think you need a license to buy a shotgun in Kansas.

I don't know if this helps, but if he's creeping you out, he should get some feedback from somewhere that it has been noticed, is not reciprocated, and needs to stop. A very firm "No" in some way. It could come from you, but that may be very difficult for you to do. It may be easier if someone went with you. Either of you or the other person could tell him to please leave you alone.

If it continues afterwards, you can actually ask the police to have a talk with him. If you are uncomfortable with calling the police, and you happen to see a friendly officer (especially maybe if it's a female officer) then you could talk to them about it, asking if they would have the time to help you with something.

Letting him know that a group of people are aware and that he should stop the behavior is a good first step. If he continues, there are other methods.

I am sorry for your stress. I have had friends in the same situation. It is very disturbing and sometimes people don't take it very seriously, which makes it even more disturbing.

Find out the topics he hates and feels strongly about. I think you see where I'm going with this.

Putting on a quizzical, "WTF are you even talking about??" disgusted expression really puts people off too. Keep doing it. Act snooty, whiney and complain a lot. And keep tying your hair up - good girl.