I am extremely depressed today... And facing a trial that...

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only some can understand. I am not even sure that I understand. This is very difficult for me, and for my family.

I am a 34 year old male with Asperger’s.. I have been married to my lovely wife for 10 years (she has ADHD), known her for 14 years. We have a 5 year old daughter.. Of whom has Autism. She is a beautiful little girl, full of life, and only knows life as she lives it.. She has communication difficulties, but she tries. She is probably best described as a 2-3 year old in a 5 year olds body.. She has some days where she's more of her age, but most of the time she's still that younger toddler. She is limited in communication (verbal/structured sentences), but she is very sharp. She is smart enough to operate tablet computers, browses YouTube for kids, watches educational programs on her own, plays with playdoh and builds tiny, but intricate, little figures.. She loves to draw... But, like most of us.. She has sensory overload issues. Loud sounds or certain textures can really set her off, and disrupt her whole day (The loud sounds are what get to me too) Now, here comes the issue… We live in community living, an apartment… Now, it isn’t her or I that is the problem.. She stims, but she is actually pretty darn quiet about it. She runs, but cannot be heard below (Three level unit).. She can be verbally loud, but again, can’t be heard below… The problem is, there’s a stairwell that goes up through the levels, and you can hear when someone comes up or goes down them quite well.. Or when someone closes the door very loudly, again, the sound will resonate through our unit very prominently. The sound can be so shocking to the sensory when it happens. Now, normal “living sounds” are expected, and are tolerated. The issue began one day when the neighbor one level down from us, and over, was allowing there children (boys, aged 6-8) to slam the unit door Very Loudly. It was jarring the things on our wall, and one item nearly fell off. Well, things can be replaced, but the biggest concern was the effect it was having on my daughter, and even I. But, my daughter is more important than I. My wife then decided to go down one level, and spoke with the father about the door slamming issue.. She was very polite (always is). She was stated to that they would solve the issue.. And the talk ended just fine. Well, this all occurred on a weekend day so no management was in the office to talk to so logically direct communication seemed just fine, especially polite communication. Well, that Monday my wife received a very stern voicemail from the manager stating that we don’t go knocking on neighbor’s doors, that we need to come to her only and that we need to tolerate the noise…. At any other place we’ve ever lived that was community living, we were always told by management that if an issue could be resolved between yourself and the neighbor(s) peacefully, then do so before approaching management about it. So this is the route we logically took…. It also just so happens that the individual my wife went to speak to about the door issue also works here at the complex. So there is no telling what he ran and told the management. We theory that it was most likely an exaggerated story or that my wife was “rude” about it…. I can tell you now that she was far from rude about it.. She/we always approach any issues as calmly, politely, and professional as possible. Despite our conditions, we firmly believe that respect and understanding is the key.
Well, moving on, flash forward to a month or so later, and we start having a new issue… The neighbor directly next door has a young teenage daughter that tends to come up/go down the stairwell by running or jumping on the stairs (both absolutely forbidden by word in the lease agreement). And this one we didn’t go to the manager about because my wife had met the teens mother in the parking lot one day, and had even spoke to her mother about the stairwell issue… The mother agreed that the teenage can be a pain, and that she had gotten on to her about that very thing already, and would be doing so again…. She had also told my wife to txt her anything that the daughter was doing while she wasn’t there (the mother works night shift while the teen stays home alone) so there was a verbal agreement there that they would basically look out for each other as mothers should toward their children. Well, it turns out that the daughter has been sneaking out on Friday nights when the mother is away at work. The daughter is only in the 9th grade according to her mother, but she is taking off with a couple of males (one who drives), and another female. We brought this up to the mother shortly thereafter due to the fact that the teen came home one night around 2am with these people, slamming the apartment door VERY LOUDLY, and Jumping down the stairs (after she was told by her mother not to do these things, and why). This sounded like the place was coming down since it was in the middle of the night (my wife and I were awake already due to insomnia). But, that’s not where it ends…. After causing all of the chaos in the stairwell, she proceeds to run back out into the parking lot to a waiting vehicle with the other individuals in it. It is winter up here so the parking lot is icy… They begin to take off erratically, almost hitting a parked car as they slide on the ice.. The vehicle leaves the complex for a short while (about 5 minutes), but then returns…. This time, the teenage female gets back out, while there’s lots of shouting and other noises from all of the individuals. They appear to be intoxicated. The female starts throwing ice and snow that she is scraping off the other tenants parked vehicles, and is throwing this at the other vehicle her friends are in. All the while the vehicle begins rolling through the lot, the driver having their door open yelling “Come on, throw one at me, hit me!”… Also rolling through the lot with no lights on (it is near 2am). Well, due to the extremely loud nature of this (we have a noise ordinance) plus the obvious drunk behavior of minors after curfew (10Pm) .. PLUS the reckless driving, we called the police as this was a huge safety issue and disturbing the peace. The vehicle then proceeded to leave the complex, driving down the road, swerving, with their lights OFF, and the driver’s door still open…… They drove out of sight like this (at least 2 blocks). Well, as luck would have it, the police showed up at the complex, and JUST MISSED all of the drama….. But, they were given the vehicle’s description, and later learned that they had been looking for that vehicle due to some prior issues. The vehicle is a mid 90’s Ford Explorer with front end damage and semi loud exhaust leak so it is easy to spot… Well, we deemed it proper to let the mother know of her child’s actions while she was away at work. My wife was the one who did the talking to her, and even showed her a photo we took on our phone of the vehicle. She had asked my wife if she was sure it was HER daughter. My wife politely confirmed to her by her word that it was…. Her mother then proceeded to tell my wife thank you for the information, and that she would fix this. Everything seemed to be going well between the neighbor and my wife’s communication (all of this occurred in the last week of Nov)….
Flash forward two weeks from that incident to early December (again, on the weekend, no management in office). Well, after a semi quiet period free of drama (aside the daughter still being loud on the stairs here and there), guess who comes over? Her daughters friends…… And guess what they do? They go up and down the stairwell several times, purposefully STOMPING and JUMPING up and down on the steps. Then, SLAMMING the door several times as they go in and out of the unit. I was at that moment in time, on the tablet with my toddler teaching her some things of fof ABC Mouse, and some other educational apps. When the loud booming began from the stomping, I nearly jumped out of my skin and went into an extreme anxiety attack. My daughter looked at me and said “what wrong daddy, what’s the noise” as she began to whine .. I instantly told my wife “please, make it stop, you have to tell them to stop doing that”. Needless to say, the teaching session ended right then and there. Sensory overload had begun. As they (there was 5 of them) began to come back up the stairs, running and stomping very loudly, my wife who was at the door started to talk to them and asked them “Could you please not stomp on the stairs, my 5 year old daughter has autism and it really upsets her” .. They ignored her… My wife then says “Hello??” .. To which she is replied to by one of the males “YEA” very rudely as they laugh at her. At this point I walked up behind my wife and stated out “Please, Walk Softly” As calmly as I could state it. I got no reply, and they all filed into the neighboring unit one by one, smirking and mocking. They then slammed the door very loudly… I closed our door, and felt that I wanted to cry….. At that moment, I heard the door SLAM very loudly, again… When I looked out the peephole as I was still by our door, I saw that nobody was there in the stairwell. They had slammed the door again, just to be spiteful….. My wife then decided that she would text the mother, not even knowing if she was home or not, and that the very individuals her daughter had been sneaking out of the apartment with at night, were the ones now there at her unit purposefully causing chaos. My wife had explained to her about the reckless behavior of these individuals as well… It wasn’t too long after that, my wife then received a very rude, and ugly txt from the mother’s number stating that WE were harassing her guests, that we needed to stop sending her txts, and to not knock on her door any more. That if we had a problem, we should go to the manager, and had suggested that we just move………….. My wife’s jaw just dropped…. She could not believe that she received such a text from someone who had just agreed to be helpful, and had asked her to send her to communicate with her any time there was a problem. Now all the sudden we are the enemy.. When we hadn’t done anything but try to look out for our daughter, and our neighbor. Now, not knowing if the txt was truly from the mother or if it was from her daughter using her mother’s phone just to be ugly to us.. Plus.. The noise was still beyond reasonable living sounds.. We called the police. It was after all disturbing the peace. And, the person who works here at the complex wasn’t even here (don’t even know if he would’ve cared anyway), and once again, being the weekend, no manager.. So calling the police was the only logical option to get help for this situation. Our daughter was by now very distressed, and we were working to keep her calm. I was very distressed, and had developed a very bad stress headache that was pounding with every heartbeat.. My wife was distressed because she could see how it was effecting us and she felt helpless… Well, after a few minutes, the officer showed up, and came to our door. We let him in, and filled him in on the situation. He of course took the community living approach, and that noise happens, they have their rights, etc.… We told him that of course everyone has their rights, but that the noise was far beyond normal. That this is an ongoing issue with these particular individuals. My daughter then proceeds to approach the officer, and asks “How you get into my house?” Everyone kind of smiles as my wife states “I let him in through the door, it’s cold outside” .. My daughter looks at the officer, and so sadly asks him “Why you stomping, it hurts my ears” …. Upon hearing that I almost broke down, but I kept it calm. It hurt me so much to hear that. The officer then looked at her as she touched his hand and said “It wasn’t me stomping sweetie, but I will try to fix it” …. I think he then perhaps understood for a moment what we were meaning.. So we finished up out talk with him, he proceeded to tell us that he would now go next door and have a talk with the others.. We let him out, and went on comforting our daughter and trying to gather our nerves. We could hear talking next door after the officer knocked on the door and had to wait outside for over a minute or so or an answer… He eventually left, and the noise had indeed died down substantially. But… We then heard some activity.. My wife looks out through the peephole and described to me what she noticed. She stated that they all piled out of the unit, laughing and semi stomping on the stairs, while swinging their arms up and down.. They were again mocking us. We obviously just dealt with it to ourselves, but were concerned over all… We now felt betrayed by someone (the mother/neighbor) who had just recently led my wife to believe that she had a friend and someone who understood and would be willing to help in the simplest of way. We were always encouraged by my daughters team (therapy/school) that we should communicate with our neighbors if need be about our situation.. And we had. We would mention ahead of time that if there was ever an issue (like noise form our unit) to let us now, and we would happily fix it. Thankfully, our daughter isn’t nowhere near as loud as some on the spectrum can be. When she runs through the unit (which I always discourage if I can), she runs on tip toes. I am impressed because I normally cannot hear her running, only see her.. So in short, we haven’t ever had an issue with noise. We have received no write-ups or anything like that. Now on to the really frustrating part. We of course receive a voicemail from the manager again, that we “do not call the police on our neighbors, that we do not txt them or knock on their door”. (As it turns out, the teen’s mother was indeed home, and has now turned on us, claimed victim and making it out that WE are the problem.) …. 1. My wife had an agreement with the neighbor already to communicate (we’re all adults right?) 2. In the lease it clearly states that tenants are responsible for their guests behavior(s) and actions. 3. The lease is very clear about disturbing the peace and the right to a peaceful living here at the complex. And that things like Running in the stairwell, screaming, and other belligerent behaviors are strictly unacceptable. These individuals were in huge violation of that with their behavior… But, when this was stated to management as to why we felt we had to call the police… We were Told that it was NORMAL noises. That we were in the wrong for what we did………… This of course brought a lot of grief to our little family, we felt helpless and crushed. A few days later our daughter had a Dr’s appointment, and the Dr noted a change in our daughter’s demeanor. We went ahead a told the Dr about what’s been going on, and that our daughter hasn’t been handling it well. This concerned the Dr, and she wrote a letter for us to put on our Daughter’s file here at the apartment complex. That she does indeed have a medical need, and that the accommodation asked for was a fair request (That the neighbors be aware of her condition, and work with us to keep her feeling safe). See, the complex recently had sent out notices stating that all smokers step away from the building to smoke due to a tenant here in the building that has asthma, and the smoke was giving them trouble… The request for our daughter is no different, it is a true to life medical issue… Well, this seems to mean nothing to management. My wife took the documents in a few days ago to have them collected to our lease files. The manager we cold to my wife, and didn’t seem to care about our situation. To the manager, we are the “problem” …. The neighbors and their guests that are actually the ones causing the issue? Well, they are the innocent victims…. They appear to be very buddy buddy with the manager and the guy who lives one level down and works here. We feel that we are being singled out and treated very unfairly, when all that we’ve ever been was polite and cooperative. They feel that we are complaining about “normal sounds” that come with community living. They don’t seem to believe us at all or they are covering for the other people. The officer that responded to the call about the stomping in the stairwell told us “recording if you can is your best friend” … Here in Idaho it is a one person consent law so we can indeed record from our side of things.. I figured that it would be hard to do this, but figured that I would give it a shot. Well, I caught something.. When I would hear the heavier walking up the steps, I will go to the peephole with my phone in hand, ready to record them in the act of stomping or jumping on the stairs in person… While I haven’t caught that yet, I have caught the daughter coming in from a sneak out, and as she passes our door, then proceeds to flip it off. Not knowing that I am there on the other side.. Three days later, the same thing.. Heavier waling up the steps so I go to record in the off chance I catch the act.. This time it is the daughter AND the mother.. Both snickering, the daughter then proceeds to flip off the door AGAIN as her mother laughed. THIS told me that they are indeed doing it on purpose. That they don’t care. That they are claiming this victim attitude with the management while out peace of mind and home goes threatened. Last night I receive a voice mail from the manager (I didn’t answer because I am terrified of talking on the phone, plus I didn’t recognize the number, they NEVER call me, only my wife). The voice mail states in short that My wife has pretty much talked to all the neighbors, and that they have talked to all the neighbors (which I honestly doubt that), that the noise is Normal for community living, and that the only thing they can offer is to go ahead and be released from the lease with no penalty, and that we would receive our deposit back if the place was able to be renter ready upon our move out. That we had to the end of this month to reply in writing that I would accept the offer. And then would have all of January to move out……. My wife has tried to call the office as they are in today, but they refuse to answer the phone. I have not tried because I am a literal emotional mess, and am very locked in right now. I am using all the power I have to type this. I suffer from anxiety something terrible. This truly does feel like a veiled threat to our home, and all because we asked some very rude individuals to please stop stomping on the stairs….. I do not know what to do…. We have no means to move. We just got here into this place back in July of this year. We had stated to the very same manager our daughter’s needs. And we have been very polite and respectful through everything, as best as could be expected from such a situation. And now our home is threatened. I’ve shut down hard core over the past day, and I am afraid. I cannot sleep due to this mess. And believe me, I would move our family into a home if I were able to… I feel lost, depressed, and alone… I fight to find meaning in life past my daughter and wife… I am not employed due to my condition (plus severe back issues), and for the fact that I care for our daughter when she is not in school or therapy. I find myself in bouts of doubt and crying.. I just look at my daughter in all of her innocence and I break down… How can people be this way?! How can they get away with his!? They are blatantly showing favoritism, and all the while intimidating us! I don’t know what to do, who to go to or even what to say past what I’ve written here! I am so hurt and lost…… I am afraid… Please forgive me for the loooooong post.. But right now, this is all I have. This post was my window from the inside looking out. I am a prisoner… And I have no hope…

I think can actually understand some of what your daughter is going through, with all the loud noises and it hurting and all, and I'm sorry you guys have to go through all that. Normies are idiots, I understand that first hand and I wish I could help.

Thank you so much. An understanding reply is plenty! This has been very hard on everyone, especially when you approach with kindness, and get kicked in the ribs anyways! ... It truly is a different world out there to be faced. It is hard... And can be very frightening at times. There's so much that I struggle to understand and cope with but I am trying. I have to always try as hard as I possibly can, my little one depends on it! I just wish that I could make the hurt go away.. Makes me feel so helpless and lost.

You could get your daughter some ear defenders.

People should be more considerate, but the reality is you sometimes need to take the responsibility for your health - and sanity - into your own hands, because that is what is in your control.

Other people are outside your control, and trying to make them conform to your wishes will just make you crazy, because people are often self-centred and ego-driven.

This kind of thing has happened to me too. I feel for you and relate strongly. People can be complete a-holes.

I've found out the hard way that it's better never, ever to even let someone know there that something bothers you, because they will do it even more, as you experienced with the blatant increase in the stomping once they realized fully how it was affecting you. And it's exactly that type of vindictive person who will also manage to get the landlord/managers turned all around on who is being the nuisance to whom, too. And people never care about the terms of leases, clauses against noise and disturbing neighbors, etc.

It's unfair and it sucks, but this is what having to live closely around other people tends to be like, if you're unlucky.

I'm so sorry things have gone this way.

At least they have offered to let you out of your lease with no penalties, and you have a month and a bit to arrange things.

But I know that even THAT is incredibly, incredibly, deeply stressful. Just to move home is stressful to many, many people; it's even more stressful to someone with anxiety -- I know -- and it's even worse still when it's under a cloud like this nasty escalation of crap with these neighbors. I've been there.

The only thing you can do at this point it to take the option offered and try to find a new place. It would be continuing hell to stay there anyway, now. Bad blood with the neighbors. Bad blood with the managers who are letting the bad neighbors stay but basically asking the good ones who just wanted the peaceful life stated in the tenant's rights, after all, to leave. Been there too.

I know the profound anxiety you must be feeling right now.

You must try to work through that and push forward now, push yourself to start looking for that new place. You must activate and make a list of the steps needed. I've had to push, push push through the depths of despair and the heights of crippling anxiety, all alone, to just "get things done" and do what I had to do. It's indescribably stressful and I won't even say it makes you stronger -- nope, I just feel like I'm getting more and more worn down.

But you do it because there is no alternative.

Also, on the brighter side, focus on how much better it's going to feel to get out of there.

And in the new place, if anything starts -- go straight to the manager the moment it's even a little bit of a concern. Take a copy of the lease and point out the exact paragraph that states which part of the tenants right you feel are being violated. These managers forget their own damn terms and conditions sometimes, and let stuff happen that is stated in writing they themselves have a duty to put an end to if reported.

Don't speak directly with a problem neighbor. One always sees "advice" articles about friendly chats with neighbors where everything works out fine. In my observation, no it doesn't. Not in rental situations. Some people feel like they don't have anything to lose, in their behavior in a place they're not invested in. They don't care. The direct and friendly chat only hands over to that type of person a virtual "button" they then know they can push. Sidestep directly to management.

I clicked just to see if Sandpoint was from Idaho. Yep. I remember visiting Sandpoint as a child. Nice little man-made beach. The most memorable moment was when some local kids asked myself and my siblings if Canada had electricity yet. lol - and they were serious.. it's funny that Canadian comedians can still troll Americans and make them believe we just got paved roads or electricity etc. Rick Mercer famously did it just a few short years ago.

I live in a townhouse apartment with very thin walls & the neighbors are loud sometimes like having the TV/stereo turned up too high, yelling & banging things. We just put up with it for the most part but my girlfriend asked me to ask the neighbors to lower their stereo 1ce cuz the base was giving her a headache. As soon as he came to the door he asked if I wanted him to lower the stereo & I said "Yes Please" & he did it but only a little bit. He still puts it too loud sometimes but it wasn't bad enough for long enough for me to go next door & ask again.
What your dealing with it aLOT worse than that. I think management isn't taking you seriously because the neighbors complained to them 1st. Having them complain to magement before you did really made you look like your a problem. Unfortunately there isn't much you can do other than looking for a new place to live I'm afraid. i know looking for a new place & moving can be really difficult & scary & I understand if your not able to do it but the neighbors will not get any better & management will not listen to you sense they think your the problem. I'm really sorry your going through this.

Hey guys, still here.. Just slowly taking care of business.. Thank you for your posts, and suggestions, plus sharing experiences.. They are all appreciated and helpful in different ways.

As for hearing protection, I've spent some good money over time on some (temporary) solutions. I've a nice Bluetooth headset made by Sony (MDR-XB950BT), a wired headset by Sony (MDR-XB950), some ear defenders (Work fairly decent, just heavy on the ear), and some high end disposable ear plugs.. My favorite to use is the Bluetooth headset, I can listen to music, and still be mobile.. but after several hours that fatigues my ears (Also started thinking, what if I get brain cancer? lol) My back up is the wired version which has richer sound, but I am limited to moving about easily less I am tethered to my phone (Pandora radio ftw).. Also, ear fatigue sets in =/ The earplugs are probably my most used method... They're rated at 32 dB NRR. They work for the most part, but I still get jarred pretty good by the vibration when someone slams the hell out of their door next door.. My couch is lined along the wall that is closet to the door (sucks, but room arrangement limits). Sometimes I can still clearly hear the sound with the slams, very startling... The ear defenders work nice to seal out noise, but man do they hurt the ear quickly... Which brings me to the little one.. Things on her ears is one of her biggest sensory things.. This is a challenge during the Winter when we want to keep her ears warm and out of the wind.. She will tolerate nothing on them.. For now anyway..

As for moving, unfortunately is isn't possible for us at this time =/ We declined the offer about the lease forgiveness and all, but told them in short that we are all adults hee, and should be able to live here peacefully among one another... And then tried introducing to them about the evidence we had showing that the actions of the other tenants were indeed malicious, but management doesn't seem to care or want to take action (even just talking) toward them. So we shall see how this goes.... Instead, the manager kind of belittled my daughters condition, asking in short, well then, why doesn't this bother her or that bother her (Other outside sounds that can be loud here like a nearby train and outside maintenance...) My wife proceeded to tell her, "We never said that stuff didn't bother her either at times, but it's also not malicious, harassing activity that could be helped such as the jumping on stomping on the stairs by our door". Plus, our daughter loves trains so she's associated the noise with trains, and for the most part is fine with it... Although she has strangely over the past two days, has been asking me "what's that noise??" when she hears a train.. She's been very edgy lately, I feel due to stresses she feels... I just comfort her best I can and explain, "That's the choochoo trains you love".. Usually satisfies her...
Another thing though that has me VERY Concerned is her odd behavior since this mess started, and I finally caught it on my phone this morning... She was working on her tablet, learning about letters, when she all the sudden jumped up, started to scream and cry (freaking me out), and saying "I'm a bad bad person!" (referring to herself)... Which made my eyes sting a bit because she did this same thing a few nights ago (the day before I posted this originally).. But she says it so fearfully and so very sad.. I don't know what's going on with that so I recorded it this time, and forwarded it to her team (Counselors/therapy/school people). We have been trying to keep them in the loop of what's been going on because it has effected her behaviors lately, and this is very concerning to me.... You can't always understand her when she speaks to you, but sometimes she will say things very to the point, and clear... I feel that she may know or understand that all of this is about her or she's displaying how it's effecting her.... Makes me feel terrible.. I try asking her why she says these things, but she doesn't communicate clearly why (least not to where I can understand her)... I just hugged her the other night and told her "You're not a bad person, and I love you very Much!"... She just goes "I'm not?" with a huge upward inflection.. To which I reply "No, you are not" .. She seemed fine after that until this morning... Hopefully we can get this figured out.. She has a hard time in life as it is, and I don't want it to be worse on her... It really upsets me that people think her condition as a joke, and treat her as such... I do my best to tolerate it, but she can't just do that... She doesn't understand.. And definitely lesson learned about asking people to please be courteous =( Even though we are always polite, and very considerate regardless of our own conditions......

Thanks guys for listening to my drawn out posts.. This is my therapy, for now.... I am a far better at just typing it out than talking... I think that I could go days without speaking....

Perhaps she feels like she's a bad person because of how bothered by the noise she gets & feels like she's causing problems for you & your wife.

Sadly I have thought that same thing too.. I made sure to sit with her, assuring her that she's not a bad person at all. That she is loved, and is a wonderful person. Even with the challenges related to my condition, I always try to put those aside so that I can spend quality time with her, and give her a nurturing environment. We both do.. Her mother works 4 days a week, and I'm the one who's with her the most overall.. This current issue has really been the only roadblock we've had though.. Sensory issues can be such a setback on bad days... I have them too, combined with anxiety, and it becomes a crazy nightmare at times. It can cause a lot of self doubt/hate on some days.. =( Especially when you feel so alone in it.. But, I always try to remind myself, that I shouldn't ever blame myself for those things.. I will always do the same with my daughter when she becomes to understand it more..

Well.. This was today since this chaos began. I am lost.. My heart is broken and hope is lost..

to the OP: until you can find a quieter place, can you try masking the loud unexpected sounds with some brown noise generated by a large box fan in the corner? that is what I do to block out the sound of the local yahoos in my neighborhood. it generates a very dense masking sound that is relatively benign to the ears over the long term, rather like the air handler noise you get in a big building. it provides a sort of psychoacoustic "dither" that takes the mind off of other transient noises.

You could try taking them to court & suing them. In the meantime I would suggest packing things & bringing them to a storage unit. Call friends & family(if you have any around that your on good terms with) & ask them if they can help you move things out & if you can stay with them temporarily. I'm very sorry this happened.

It very well could come down to that. And of course that's no where near what I wanted, but this very well seems like retaliation for standing up for our rights and refusing to except blame for something that we didn't even do.... And all for just wanting someone to be kind and considerate.... We were only trying to help abide by lease rules, and help keep the right to peace, and now we're accused of breaking that very right... I am lost for words on that truly.. It's a 3 day notice to comply or vacate... So we're struggling on trying to figure out how to comply with something that we didn't break?.............

Oh god Sandpoint I am so sorry you got served a three day notice. And at Christmas. I can't tell you how my heart dropped when I played your video and heard this news. I've been there myself. Many, many years ago I once had a situation excactly like this flipped around 180 degrees on me too.

As someone else said, you could pursue legal recourse on this. That won't help your immediate situation in practical terms, but you do ultimately have rights you could pursue later on. This basically amounts to discrimination against a person with a disability and special needs regarding that; there is autism in your household and in theory even the basic, baseline terms of every tenant's lease regarding reasonable consideration of noise and disturbance OUGHT TO create a reasonable enough level of peace and quiet even for those with autism. But these neighbors have created disturbance of you with malicious intent. The problem is it's going to be very hard for you to prove that intention.

Can you contact any entity that advocates for people on the autism spectrum? Over here in the UK there is the National Autistic Society I'd be contacting for advice on how to proceed. There will be something in your country too.

I'm so sorry about how quickly this has all gone to the worst place. Perhaps they even offered you the one month get-out clause with a hidden agenda that if you declined it, they would get you out with the three day eviction anyway. They were hoping you would leave in one month but since you didn't take the offer, they had their other plan in place. This sucks.

Start packing so that there aren't problems on the day. Call all friends or family you can, asking for a place to stay temporarily. If anyone can take you in plead with them to do so; make your loved ones aware of exactly what's happened so that they realize your family is truly in an emergency situation.

Well.. We are still here in the unit.. We would gladly pack up and leave if we had a way to do so.... But.. Broke (Paying many bills, and surviving), and No Where to go anyways..... It was a 3-day comply or vacate so..we turned in an answer letter (by email, time stamped-fax, and rent slot at office) stating once again that we would just like to live here peacefully among our neighbors. We are still astonished that we got the notice at all, especially since we had already stated the same thing when my wife spoke to the manager on the phone (when my wife stated/confirmed that we were turning down the offer to break lease with no fees/penalty) .. And THEN we were hit with the 3-day notice to comply or vacate. We weren't even told how to comply or remedy the situation........ Only that WE were in violation of everyone else's right to a peaceful living environment! Insanity! We are the quietest family in the building, even with an autistic toddler! We can only feel that it is retaliation for our reporting to the police about the VERY REAL disturbance of the peace that went on, and turning down the lease break deal (we had no way to move..and just wanted to live here peacefully among others, and only wanted reasonable respect for our daughters disability). It wasn't but 1-2 days later we then received the 3-day notice and "complaint" against US..... I feel that there are no more good people left in the world .. I really hate believing this =(

I do not know what our future holds over the next 23-48 hours, but if it's anything like the past month.. More tears and fear to come =( Some Christmas season this has been...