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29 Aug 2018, 6:59 pm
nick007
Veteran
Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,650
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
29 Aug 2018, 9:56 pm
Here's a song about gravy addiction 
http://thefump.com/search.php
Quote:
Listen, now children, while you still have your ears.
And hear a story you'll remember for years.
It's about an addiction that almost cost me my life.
Thanksgiving's coming, so you all are at risk.
Clothesline your momma if she pulls out that wisk.
It will be awkward in the moment but you'll save a lifetime of strife.
Yeah I'm talkin' 'bout gravy and you use it to moisten your turkey.
But nobody talks about the evil within that is lurk---ey
I see you kids snickering this ain't no time to joke and laugh.
You'll face it's gelatinous wrath.
One day I made enough to fit in my tub
So I could bathe in all the gravy I loved
This was the misguided choice of a foolish youth.
It seeped into my pores and into my skin
A life of horrors was about to begin
I thought it was merely fattening, but now I know the truth.
Yeah, I'm talkin' 'bout gravy and it flowed inside of my body
I should have gone in moderation and should not have consumed a lot--y.
That stuff controlled me and it made me want to do evil things
To chickens and to kings.
I stomped to town while leaving a gravy trail.
Saw helpless bystanders and then I inhaled
as I exhaled I unleashed a corn starch colada of death
Juices come from meat
Sauce is made from juice
Gravy is that sauce
It killed my neighbors
I was propelled by gravy jets on my feet
Made it to Jersey 'til I met my defeat
As it all dried up I laid on the pavement exhausted.
So listen, children, while science has saved me.
Gravyman's nothing that you kids want to be.
I can hear you all saying that grandpa's totally lost it.
Shut up, kids.
And hear a story you'll remember for years.
It's about an addiction that almost cost me my life.
Thanksgiving's coming, so you all are at risk.
Clothesline your momma if she pulls out that wisk.
It will be awkward in the moment but you'll save a lifetime of strife.
Yeah I'm talkin' 'bout gravy and you use it to moisten your turkey.
But nobody talks about the evil within that is lurk---ey
I see you kids snickering this ain't no time to joke and laugh.
You'll face it's gelatinous wrath.
One day I made enough to fit in my tub
So I could bathe in all the gravy I loved
This was the misguided choice of a foolish youth.
It seeped into my pores and into my skin
A life of horrors was about to begin
I thought it was merely fattening, but now I know the truth.
Yeah, I'm talkin' 'bout gravy and it flowed inside of my body
I should have gone in moderation and should not have consumed a lot--y.
That stuff controlled me and it made me want to do evil things
To chickens and to kings.
I stomped to town while leaving a gravy trail.
Saw helpless bystanders and then I inhaled
as I exhaled I unleashed a corn starch colada of death
Juices come from meat
Sauce is made from juice
Gravy is that sauce
It killed my neighbors
I was propelled by gravy jets on my feet
Made it to Jersey 'til I met my defeat
As it all dried up I laid on the pavement exhausted.
So listen, children, while science has saved me.
Gravyman's nothing that you kids want to be.
I can hear you all saying that grandpa's totally lost it.
Shut up, kids.
