Our limericks

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Do you write them? I love limericks. I recently wrote two but in my native tongue, Polish so here comes the translation:

Raz udomowiony kos
Właściciela dziobnął prosto w nos.
Tego jeszcze nie było -
Ptaszysko mi się zbiesiło -
Taki wydał ów właściciel głos.

Once a domesticated blackbird
Pecked his owner straight into his nose.
This has not been yet -
My pet bird has gone bad -
The owner made a voice.

Nad rzeką młodziutki indorek
Wychylił raz wina gąsiorek.
Przepłynął na drugi brzeg
I tak do siebie rzekł:
"Wypiję więcej w przyszły wtorek."

A young turkey on the river bank
Once drank a carboy of vine.
He swam to the other bank
And he said to himself:
"I will drink more next Tuesday."

Post yours or maybe post other people's ones that you read and liked

There once was a Russian from Tashkent
Down to Australia he went
His name is Denis
He played outstanding tennis
And showed Djokovic what a will to succeed really meant!

There once was a man from Quebec,
Who was buried in snow up to his neck
When they asked, Are you friz?
He replied, Yes I is,
But they don't call this cold in Quebec.

There once was a man from Japan,
Who wrote stories that no one could scan
When they told him t'was so,
He replied, Yes I know,
But I try to always get in as many words in the last line as I possibly can.

There once was a kitty named Neil
Who missed not one single meal
And nobody knew
He ate his owner's food too
That’s why he was such a big deal

There once was a forum call Wrong Planet
And a dude named Alex ran it
He's a target for trolls
But that's how he rolls
And one of his sock puppets is Dragnet

There once was a Wrong Planet forum
That's mostly full of decorum
But every once in a while
typically without style
Some members think there's a war on

There's a poster named Raleigh from Down Under
Who whenever he posts makes we wonder
If he's just being upfront
or maybe a Y
Let the addicts unite and no one put them asunder

A forum known as Love and Dating
Should be given a one-star rating
It's full of words most unkind
To the female of mind,
That it should be called Loathe and Hating