Rules, black and white and the dredded grey area

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JuBrendan90
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14 Jan 2019, 9:52 am

Doesn’t anyone else struggle between right and wrong? What I mean is if something is written out to be black and white and in reality it’s a grey area, I have a really hard time coping with that, it drives me crazy. Anyone else experience this?



TW1ZTY
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14 Jan 2019, 9:52 am

Indeed I do.



BTDT
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14 Jan 2019, 10:13 am

I had a lot of trouble with this, especially when I started working. I've gotten much better at dealing with the grey area over time.



Fnord
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14 Jan 2019, 10:17 am

I used to. Then I found out that simply knowing the rules is more important than actually following them.



JuBrendan90
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14 Jan 2019, 11:31 am

Fnord can you expound upon that please?



BTDT
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14 Jan 2019, 11:45 am

You need to know the rules so you aren't blind sided by not knowing them.

But, in many cases, the rules are applied selectively.



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14 Jan 2019, 4:47 pm

Yeah this is why I'm feeling guilty tonight.

Also there are many things which are wrong but not illegal which everyone does and everyone knows are wrong. Things like lying. Everyone knows it's wrong but everyone does it. And not just white lies either, everyone does major lies.

I hate how politics means you have to be pure in your beliefs, especially so nowadays.

I think aspies feel more guilt than other people tbh and try to be more pure.



Fnord
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14 Jan 2019, 5:31 pm

JuBrendan90 wrote:
Fnord can you expound upon that please?
You need to know the rules because:

1. You need to know exactly what is expected of you and others.
2. You may find it useful to know where the "loopholes" are in order to get things done.
3. You may find it exceptionally useful to know when to report someone else's infractions.



JuBrendan90
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14 Jan 2019, 7:10 pm

TUF wrote:
Yeah this is why I'm feeling guilty tonight.

Also there are many things which are wrong but not illegal which everyone does and everyone knows are wrong. Things like lying. Everyone knows it's wrong but everyone does it. And not just white lies either, everyone does major lies.

I hate how politics means you have to be pure in your beliefs, especially so nowadays.

I think aspies feel more guilt than other people tbh and try to be more pure.


I agree, it does seem like I carry more guilt when it comes to being honest than the normal person. It kills me inside to be dishonest or do something I know I shouldn’t do.



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15 Jan 2019, 10:05 am

Rules are unevenly applied.

If they like you or need something from you they will loosely interpret the rules and let you get away with violating them.

If they do not like you and do not need you they will the strictly enforce the rules and find ways to interpret the rules in order to entrap you.


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15 Jan 2019, 11:10 am

Absolutely! When I was a kid my parents were really strict about how lying was wrong, so while I lied sometimes as a kid in order to not get in to trouble (like when I ate my dad's chocolate and was asked if it was me), it stuck to my head that it was wrong. And yet, when I grew up society started expecting me to lie, to tell "white lies" when the truth wasn't socially acceptable. And then people say that I'm being childish and difficult when I realize I've been lied to and call them out on their lies.



Fnord
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15 Jan 2019, 11:30 am

I used to get smacked whether or not I lied, and there was no such thing as the right to remain silent. What difference did it make? Not much. So I learned while still in grade school the concept of "Plausible Deniability", even though it wasn't until the Nixon administration that I actually heard the phrase.

(Younger Me: "So THAT's what I've been doing all along! Cool!")

Thus, it's better to have an alibi ready before you commit a "crime", so as to at least make them smack you with less force.



shortfatbalduglyman
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15 Jan 2019, 6:21 pm

It seems like NTs that I know act like they can do whatever they want

Usually they do not get punished

Leash Law is not a grey area

"She really likes to be off leash!", The lil dipshit had the nerve to tell me

Narrow winding path.

She almost caused a bike crash

She acted like she had never done anything wrong before in her life


:skull:


Some ass hole had the nerve to look over the toilet divider at me.

He could not just pound impatiently on the door like a normal arrogant entitled precious lil "person"



f**k those ass holes!! !! !