Sick Joke Thread - Open If You Dare , I Double Dare You

Post Reply New Topic

Here is my favourite sick joke

A doctor tells a patient, "You are a very, very sick man. You have HIV, Ebola, SARS, avian flu, swine flu, bubonic plague, and smallpox."
The patient asks, "Is there anything you can do to help me?"
"Actually, there is." the doc tells him. "We're going to admit you to the hospital where you'll have your own private room with everything you need to be as comfortable as possible, and you'll have to be put on a special diet of pancakes and flounder."
The patient says, "Okay, but why do I only get to eat pancakes and flounder?"
The doc says "Because those are the only things flat enough for us to push under the door."

^ that better not be a ferret burger

Q: What's more gross than accidentally falling into a toilet bowl face first?

A: Opening your mouth right afterwards to yell "HELP!"

being a stick in the mud is not my intent but please keep this in mind

Two guys in a prison shower.
One says, "Where's the soap?"
The other says, "Yes, it does, doesn't it?"

what

I assume its vile and has to do with prison sex. But I don't really get it either.

I could explain but it's funnier that I don't.

Prisoner 1 asks where's the soap = what geographical location is the soap situated.

Prisoner 2 hears 'wears the soap' as in wears out the soap , using the soap wears it out. so prisoner 2 agrees that using the soap wears it out.

Your welcome.

Prisoners and showers are used in this joke to make sick minded individuals think that it involves sex

I used some of that quick drying wood stain the other day and, like they say, it did exactly what it said on the tin.

It caused nausea and vomiting when ingested!

Sorry Ferris, but your vomit in pic one looks more like Crème brûlée.

OTOH, thanks for explaining the prison and soap joke, I didn't get it.