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KikiKitty678
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18 Aug 2019, 10:58 am

Why are trees the worst frenemies?

Because they're great at throwing shade!

I got this from (https://treesgroup.org/tree-jokes/).



lostonearth35
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18 Aug 2019, 11:02 am

What does throwing shade mean, and why does it make trees bad at being frienemies?



red_doghubb
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18 Aug 2019, 11:04 am

I studied American Sign Language and know a "deaf tree" joke that's actually really funny. Of course, it's lost in on- line translation.



KikiKitty678
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18 Aug 2019, 11:13 am

lostonearth35 wrote:
What does throwing shade mean, and why does it make trees bad at being frienemies?


"Throwing shade" means insulting others, and "worst" in this sense means "most obnoxious."



lostonearth35
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18 Aug 2019, 12:05 pm

^Oh.

Here's one: If money doesn't grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?



Mountain Goat
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18 Aug 2019, 12:53 pm

What's brown and sticky?












A stick.



lostonearth35
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18 Aug 2019, 8:16 pm

Q: What did the tree say after it was cut down?
A: "Gee, I'm stumped!"

Geometry: What a tree says the first time it looks in a mirror. "Gee, ah'm a tree~!"

Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: You climb up a tree and act like like a nut.

Okay, I'll leaf now.



Raleigh
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19 Aug 2019, 3:59 am

What do you call an epileptic in a tree?

Russell


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EzraS
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19 Aug 2019, 4:07 am

What is a tree’s favorite drink?

Root beer.

How do trees get online?

They log in.



DeepHour
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19 Aug 2019, 6:02 am

My worst subject at school was physics

My physics teacher was Mr Moore

My favourite tree at the time was Sycamore

This is a true story, as far as it goes

Which isn't very far. Gotta light, guv?


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SaveFerris
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19 Aug 2019, 8:15 am

Image


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IstominFan
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19 Aug 2019, 8:54 am

My Christmas tree cat models came in Siamese, Tabby and Calico (and mixed breeds).



AnonymousAnonymous
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30 Aug 2019, 6:37 pm

How do bees travel to trees?
They take the buzz.

What is green, has leaves, and a trunk?
A houseplant going on vacation.

Why do trees hate tests?
Because they get stumped by the questions.

Which Canadian city is a favorite vacation spot for American trees?
Montreeal.

What did the Jedi say to the sacred tree?
May the forest be with you.

What kind of stories do giant sequoia trees tell?
Tall tales.


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renaeden
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30 Aug 2019, 7:27 pm

Q: What's green and brown and if it fell on you out of a tree would kill you?

A: A snooker table.

Terrible, I know.



martianprincess
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30 Aug 2019, 7:35 pm

What did the angry tree say to other trees around him?

"LEAF ME ALONE!"


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martianprincess
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30 Aug 2019, 7:36 pm

Raleigh wrote:
What do you call an epileptic in a tree?

Russell


Oh god this made me guffaw out loud and congrats you've turned me into a horrible person ; (


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I don't even really like horses
I like wild orchids and neighbors with wide orbits