I am leaving Wrong Planet speech
[mode=pretend]
WP is the best of websites, it is the worst of websites,
WP is the website of wisdom, it is the website of foolishness,
WP is the website of belief, it is the website of incredulity,
WP is the website of Light, it is the website of Darkness,
WP is the website of hope, it is the website of despair,
WP has everything before us, it has nothing before us,
We are all going direct to Heaven, we are all going direct the other way;
In short, this website is so far like every other website, that some of its noisiest authorities insist on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.
Thus:
It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done;
It is a far, far better website that I go to, than I have ever known.
[/mode]
With apologies to Charles Dickens.
(Done as a bad pastiche of Hilaire Belloc, Tom Lehrer, and Noel Coward.)
Wrong Planet is the sort of place
Autism Speaks can't save its face.
Now that's a good thing, so I'm told.
Neurodiversity grown old
Cannot be told from bigotry.
The two sound quite alike to me.
For Trouble logs on here with glee
Sign in, wake up, it's here to see.
The liberals can't be told apart
But like to make themselves sound smart.
In doing so they lose my trust.
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
Some spell "America" with U,
That's smart? No, it's not even true,
Just spell it right--most people do,
Or emigrate to Timbuctoo.
Conservatives, some say, are worse.
Some, frankly, I'd see in a hearse
Before I let them in my home,
But on the internet they roam.
They make most normal folk look bad,
And starting problems makes them glad:
They may have issues with their dad,
The which is why they are so sad.
This site can't find a good direction;
For certain things, it has erections
Really the most obtrusive kind
(My word! you have a dirty mind.)
No, what I mean by that, is this.
The folks who write here find their bliss
ERECT-ing walls when people diss
Some thoughts & deeds some wouldn't miss.
What Thoughts & Deeds do I speak of?
No, still your beating heart, my dove--
You know it might get very heated,
(12:13 A.M. POST DELETED.)
No, some things on here I believe,
Would cause [REDACTED]'s hearts to grieve.
Place all your worries on the shelf,
They bid us go, and [ ] ourselfs.
What fury hath autistics scorned?
The MODERATORS--"You've been warned."
As if they were the K.G.B.
Or could instil a fear in me.
Unfortunately I cannot
(Considering all the things I've thought)
Go back and change my life's whole plot
Unless I'm really wrong-why not?
Though some denounce all girls as "mean"
Most aren't impressed by benzedrine
Suboxone, ganja, sleeping pills,
Grease-soaked fedoras, fat in hills
A disposition flat as tile,
A pungent musk that lasts awhile,
Suspicious jugs in amber piles,
And Love & Dating threads for miles.
A good "discussion" is a joke.
NT's pick on autistic folk,
And squabbling like screaming girls
Ruin good fighting with a quarrel.
Truth's gauged on here by year and clock,
Sad sleepless loners blame "Chad's cock"
(It crows at four A.M.) We mock,
And God's in shackles in the dock.
Wrong Planet claims "community"
But leaves no place for some like me.
The hope of kinship is a husk,
Instead we vaunt Sanders and Musk.
Electric autos, worshipped Self,
No place for those with higher wealth.
If I were 'prisoned here by stealth
I'd find a way to kill myself.
_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 134 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 72 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
Last edited by Borromeo on 05 Feb 2020, 7:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Wrong Planet is the sort of place
Autism Speaks can't save its face.
Now that's a good thing, so I'm told.
Neurodiversity grown old
Cannot be told from bigotry.
The two sound quite alike to me.
For Trouble logs on here with glee
Sign in, wake up, it's here to see.
The liberals can't be told apart
But like to make themselves sound smart.
In doing so they lose my trust.
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
Some spell "America" with U,
That's smart? No, it's not even true,
Just spell it right--most people do,
Or emigrate to Timbuctoo.
Conservatives, some say, are worse.
Some, frankly, I'd see in a hearse
Before I let them in my home,
But on the internet they roam.
They make most normal folk look bad,
And starting problems makes them glad:
They may have with their dad,
The which is why they are so sad.
This site can't find a good direction;
For certain things, it has erections
Really the most obtrusive kind
(My word! you have a dirty mind.)
No, what I mean by that, is this.
The folks who write here find their bliss
ERECT-ing walls when people diss
Some thoughts & deeds some wouldn't miss.
What Thoughts & Deeds do I speak of?
No, still your beating heart, my dove--
You know it might get very heated,
(12:13 A.M. POST DELETED.)
No, some things on here I believe,
Would cause [REDACTED]'s hearts to grieve.
Place all your worries on the shelf,
They bid us go, and [ ] ourselfs.
What fury hath autistics scorned?
The MODERATORS--"You've been warned."
As if they were the K.G.B.
Or could instil a fear in me.
Unfortunately I cannot
(Considering all the things I've thought)
Go back and change my life's whole plot
Unless I'm really wrong-why not?
Though some denounce all girls as "mean"
Most aren't impressed by benzedrine
Suboxone, ganja, sleeping pills,
Grease-soaked fedoras, fat in hills
A disposition flat as tile,
A pungent musk that lasts awhile,
Suspicious jugs in amber piles,
And Love & Dating threads for miles.
A good "discussion" is a joke.
NT's pick on autistic folk,
And squabbling like screaming girls
Ruin good fighting with a quarrel.
Truth's gauged on here by year and clock,
Sad sleepless loners blame "Chad's cock"
(It crows at four A.M.) We mock,
And God's in shackles in the dock.
Wrong Planet claims "community"
But leaves no place for some like me.
The hope of kinship is a husk,
Instead we vaunt Sanders and Musk.
Electric autos, worshipped Self,
No place for those with higher wealth.
If I were 'prisoned here by stealth
I'd find a way to kill myself.
OMG, that was funny and entertaining!
_________________
BOLTZ 17/3 2012 - 12/11 2020
Beautiful, sweet, gentle, playful, loyal
simply the best and one of a kind
love you and miss you, dear boy
Stop the wolf kills! https://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeact ... 3091429765
Wrong Planet is the sort of place
Autism Speaks can't save its face.
Now that's a good thing, so I'm told.
Neurodiversity grown old
Cannot be told from bigotry.
The two sound quite alike to me.
For Trouble logs on here with glee
Sign in, wake up, it's here to see.
The liberals can't be told apart
But like to make themselves sound smart.
In doing so they lose my trust.
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
Some spell "America" with U,
That's smart? No, it's not even true,
Just spell it right--most people do,
Or emigrate to Timbuctoo.
Conservatives, some say, are worse.
Some, frankly, I'd see in a hearse
Before I let them in my home,
But on the internet they roam.
They make most normal folk look bad,
And starting problems makes them glad:
They may have issues with their dad,
The which is why they are so sad.
This site can't find a good direction;
For certain things, it has erections
Really the most obtrusive kind
(My word! you have a dirty mind.)
No, what I mean by that, is this.
The folks who write here find their bliss
ERECT-ing walls when people diss
Some thoughts & deeds some wouldn't miss.
What Thoughts & Deeds do I speak of?
No, still your beating heart, my dove--
You know it might get very heated,
(12:13 A.M. POST DELETED.)
No, some things on here I believe,
Would cause [REDACTED]'s hearts to grieve.
Place all your worries on the shelf,
They bid us go, and [ ] ourselfs.
What fury hath autistics scorned?
The MODERATORS--"You've been warned."
As if they were the K.G.B.
Or could instil a fear in me.
Unfortunately I cannot
(Considering all the things I've thought)
Go back and change my life's whole plot
Unless I'm really wrong-why not?
Though some denounce all girls as "mean"
Most aren't impressed by benzedrine
Suboxone, ganja, sleeping pills,
Grease-soaked fedoras, fat in hills
A disposition flat as tile,
A pungent musk that lasts awhile,
Suspicious jugs in amber piles,
And Love & Dating threads for miles.
A good "discussion" is a joke.
NT's pick on autistic folk,
And squabbling like screaming girls
Ruin good fighting with a quarrel.
Truth's gauged on here by year and clock,
Sad sleepless loners blame "Chad's cock"
(It crows at four A.M.) We mock,
And God's in shackles in the dock.
Wrong Planet claims "community"
But leaves no place for some like me.
The hope of kinship is a husk,
Instead we vaunt Sanders and Musk.
Electric autos, worshipped Self,
No place for those with higher wealth.
If I were 'prisoned here by stealth
I'd find a way to kill myself.
wow. anyway what is the missing word where you say 'some may have with their dad'?
_________________
Take defeat as an urge to greater effort.
-Napoleon Hill
CockneyRebel
Veteran
Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 117,251
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love
I wouldn't make a speech, and instead would just gradually disappear. I'm not as big a presence as others here anyway.
_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 91 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 107 of 200
You seem to have both neurodiverse and neurotypical traits
ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 36,489
Location: Long Island, New York
I wrote a long speech but cloudfare ate up so bye
_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity
“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman
I intended for that reaction to happen heehee
And thank you.
Last edited by EzraS on 06 Feb 2020, 9:10 am, edited 1 time in total.
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