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chris1989
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17 Mar 2021, 3:48 pm

I feel people both men and women should be allowed show their emotions and not hide it all the time. I seem to think there is still stigma particularly for men that if they were to shed tears they seen a 'wimp' and 'weak'. My dad, a joiner and carpenter who has hardly ever cried and just gets on with it and doesn't worry about it and has a 'stiff upper lip' especially even in times of crisis such as this. I sometimes why can't I hold it in as much as him and other men ? I even seem to think in terms of dating, some women expect their man to be a 'proper man' and that even some women from different cultures like from Eastern Europe or Africa look for the man who is tough and doesn't show his emotions otherwise if he is, he is therefore 'unlikable' and a 'sissy' and I seem to think those women wouldn't particularly want to go out with someone who has a hidden disability and stays with his mum because to them they are not 'proper men'.



Sinister Biscuit
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17 Mar 2021, 3:59 pm

Which shows strength and courage more:

- hiding your emotions because culture tells you to?

Or

- showing your emotions authentically despite being judged negatively?



Fnord
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17 Mar 2021, 4:02 pm

Sinister Biscuit wrote:
Which shows strength and courage more:

- hiding your emotions because culture tells you to?

Or

- showing your emotions authentically despite being judged negatively?
- punching the face of someone who picks on you for showing emotion, even if that person is bigger/stronger.



Last edited by Fnord on 17 Mar 2021, 4:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sinister Biscuit
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17 Mar 2021, 4:11 pm

^^^ Point!

Edit to add: i dont hit people. I walk away. Humans bore me.



NaturalEntity
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17 Mar 2021, 4:19 pm

Emotion is natural. Don't supress it for fear of isolation.


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madbutnotmad
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17 Mar 2021, 4:26 pm

I have no problem showing my emotions. I have been known to cry although this is often because I have drunk so much that my antidepressants have stopped working. I also have a life of heart break. Which would probably make most people top themselves or kill people.

I haven't and i am no sissy. I grew up doing street fighting bare knuckle karate, have done loads of different martial arts, and don't have a problem fighting anyone, unless I think they are maliciously criminal (who may intentionally cause permanent damage if i train with them).

There is one theory on ASD is that we as humans experience the world in an intense manner compared to others,
so it is no surprise that we get emotional some times.

In the UK though, people are very conservative when it comes to emotions. Especially men, who bottle things up instead, and then end up exploding or topping themselves cause they haven't an avenue to express themselves.

Not healthy in my opinion.
My ego isn't too big that I can't be open about these things.



Fnord
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17 Mar 2021, 4:36 pm

Actually, as I have grown older, my operative philosophies have become "Don't get angry.  Get even." and "Revenge is a dish best served cold."



KT67
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17 Mar 2021, 4:50 pm

It's a strong man who can show emotions beyond just anger and football related happiness.

Society has been sexist for a while but nowadays there's a lot of encouragement to come forward. New focus on male mental health.

I like my dad now because he is honest about other emotions, I never liked him when he used to yell at people all the time. I felt unsafe around him.

Better to cry than to die.


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cberg
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17 Mar 2021, 4:52 pm

Fnord wrote:
Actually, as I have grown older, my operative philosophies have become "Don't get angry.  Get even." and "Revenge is a dish best served cold."


Please don't associate the rest of us with this variety of crap attitude.


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Fnord
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17 Mar 2021, 4:52 pm

I save my tears for the rain.



Sinister Biscuit
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17 Mar 2021, 4:54 pm

cberg wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Actually, as I have grown older, my operative philosophies have become "Don't get angry.  Get even." and "Revenge is a dish best served cold."


Please don't associate the rest of us with this variety of crap attitude.


“An eye for an eye will leave the whole world blind.”



Fnord
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17 Mar 2021, 4:59 pm

cberg wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Actually, as I have grown older, my operative philosophies have become "Don't get angry.  Get even." and "Revenge is a dish best served cold."
Please don't associate the rest of us with this variety of crap attitude.
Please tell us how lacking this variety of crap attitude has made your outlook on life any better than mine.



OutsideView
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17 Mar 2021, 5:08 pm

Men should absolutely be able to be open about their feelings if they want to.


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Blue_Blake
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17 Mar 2021, 5:42 pm

Fnord wrote:
Actually, as I have grown older, my operative philosophies have become "Don't get angry.  Get even." and "Revenge is a dish best served cold."


Why?



madbutnotmad
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17 Mar 2021, 5:57 pm

Fnord wrote:
Actually, as I have grown older, my operative philosophies have become "Don't get angry.  Get even." and "Revenge is a dish best served cold."


Sure I can understand your philosophy
although it wasn't until i got the antidepressants i was on changed to old tricyclic ones
that weren't so stimulating when it comes to nor-adrenaline
that i got some control back of my emotions, and now can hold back

ironically, personality wise, a greater part of me is laid back and spiritual in philosophy
but when your brains are full of adrenaline
there is no way to hold back, cause your in permanent attack mode

its funny, as when i was younger i wasn't constantly stuck in fight/flight
and i did karate from the age of 11, so by the time i was 17, i was fairly experienced when it came to conflict

but it was the bloody miracle cure antidepressants that stole 20 years of my life
and made me a target for every abuser in the area that i live
(as abusers quickly twig that your someone who is trigger happy and easy to provoke, so all the abusers
start to set you up).

But now. I am off the crappy SNRI's
and have a new found control

the abusers better watch out.... as their old tricks won't work on me
and i have seen every trick in the book and also remember who pulled them...

personally i am not into revenge
more into justice and protecting the innocent
and catching the abusers so they don't continue abusing



cberg
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17 Mar 2021, 7:03 pm

Fnord wrote:
cberg wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Actually, as I have grown older, my operative philosophies have become "Don't get angry.  Get even." and "Revenge is a dish best served cold."
Please don't associate the rest of us with this variety of crap attitude.
Please tell us how lacking this variety of crap attitude has made your outlook on life any better than mine.


I don't have to anonymously give others s**t online behind their backs to feel like myself.


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