EQ

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My EQ score according to a quiz, was 10/80. This explains a lot of arguments I’ve had with my gf, and is also something I already knew about myself. I’ve learned canned phrases to say when she is upset, after 6 years, and it has helped.

I’m curious to see what others EQ score is. I’ve heard some people on the spectrum can be quite emotional, but not read others emotions well. I am not very emotional, and don’t read others emotions well.

According to this one, I got 28 EQ and 29 SQ, which they say is low for both. Significantly affected by the fact that my external displays (or lack thereof) often do not reflect my internal thoughts, feelings, etc. I have a lot of empathy but not a lot of social knowledge, and almost always err on the side of caution in social situations, often saying nothing for fear of saying the wrong thing, so I don’t usually upset people, but that doesn’t mean I actually understand or accurately predict their thoughts, actions, etc. But I get low on SQ too because I’m very bad with numbers, directions, and technology.

Mine is usually about 13 on that quiz. I'm a very emotional person and I can usually pick up people's energy. I have sympathy / cognitive empathy for people and I'll pretty much throw myself on a sword for friends. I guess I'm lacking that intuitive piece, or the expressive part, because of my mutism and alexithymia.

Cognitive empathy = you recognise a person's feelings about something but can't or won't care or understand how they're feeling

Emotional empathy = you respect a person's feelings and you care about or understand how they're feeling

Bullies and psychopaths and other toxic types of people only have cognitive empathy. Most people have both but can be "spiky" with emotional empathy. People on the spectrum can have difficulties with cognitive empathy but usually have good emotional empathy, sometimes more than the average NT. But this can be difficult to express or "use" if you miss cognitive empathy, which can mislead people into thinking that autistics have no emotional empathy at all.

I must have misunderstood cognitive empathy, then.

I can and will care / understand how a person is feeling. I feel it very deeply, and spend more time worrying about other people's feelings than my own.

My difference is that I can't infer a person's feelings just by looking at them, or guessing, unless it's an extreme and very obvious situation. I'm terrible at reading non-verbal body language or facial expressions if they aren't really pronounced, or if the person is hiding their feelings.

If someone tells me how they feel in their own words, then I can relate and experience the strong empathy described above. If they don't tell me in words, I can only guess. I will still care and feel empathy based on my interpretation of the event, but perhaps I've read the emotion incorrectly or made wrong assumptions about how the person feels. I know that I shouldn't assume the person feels the way that I would feel, so I try not to project myself onto their circumstance.

Your Empathizing Quotient is 14. Baron-Cohen (2003) suggests that this means "you have a lower than average ability for understanding how other people feel and responding appropriately".

Your Systemizing Quotient is 13. Baron-Cohen (2003) suggests that this means "you have a lower than average ability for analysing and exploring a system"

Score
Test taken by you on 13 June 2021 Result 24.0

The average score for males with ASD (625 people took this test) 80.7
The average score for females with ASD (985 people took this test) 77.2
The average score for males with suspected ASD (4579 people took this test) 80.5
The average score for females with suspected ASD (11211 people took this test) 74.8
The average score for male neurotypicals (1923 people took this test) 70.2
The average score for female neurotypicals (2903 people took this test) 62.7


I got 24.0 on a SQ test I took, which is way below the average for both Aspie and neurotypical females. I don't know what that means.

I wouldn’t rely on those tests in assessing myself as a person.

I don’t make assumptions about a person’s EQ when I see it posted.

I assess a person based upon a person’s actual words, actions, or reactions — not on a numerical score.