Write a Creepy Letter to Yourself using an Alias!

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Note: This letter is NOT a reflection of who I am!
Dear Eric,
Do you know why I like to mess with the heads of people?
Because it is so much fun.
It is more fun than going skinny-dipping at 5:00 AM or getting my rocks off with my GF while she is in San Fransisco.
Man is the most vulnerable animal of all.
I will tell you of the good times I have had so far in next letter.

Sagitarrius

Dear Darryl,

I followed you around today. The Doctor's office, then to Target and Wal-Mart. I know you bought those Star Wars toys and some groceries. I want to share those apples with you tonight. Did you really need that much toilet paper. What's with the four boxes of tissues? Got a date tonight?

I'm watching you,

Lyrrad

Dear Eric...

Your pillow is all fluffed nice and neat now. By the way, did you change shampoo?

Watching from both far and near,
An Anonymous Admirer

Dear 9CatMom,

It has come to my attention that you are really a "crazy cat lady." I have seen you talk to your cats, both housecats and ferals, when you feed them. Some people think that's nuts. Well, I think it's nuts not to have animals at all-and very lonely.

Dear Alexander, I have no doubts in you, and you shall succeed one day.

I wish to meet up with you regarding a business deal.

Meet me outside the Black phonebox downtown, at midnight. You'll know which one it is when you see a black Mercedes S-Class parked outside it.

Yours sincerely, Agent X

Dear Eric,
What girl wants to be with you?
Dating is just a big farce you big dumb jerk.
She will break up with you any moment now.
BTW, nice shorts.
My name is ASIKRMISOMEYR!
Is she seducing you?
I can seduce you better than she can.

Sagitarrius