Being asked to leave

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Last night I went to this bar on my own. I had a fair few pints down me and I was very merry and talking to people I didnt know that well/strangers.

This bouncer was looking at me for a while. I went inside the bar and the doorman said to me "sorry you you have to leave there have been complaints about you"

Do you think sometimes door security discriminate against people on the spectrum?

Bouncers are people and plenty of people discriminate.

It is not likely bouncers discriminate against autistic people because they can not know a person is autistic.

They will throw people out for behaviors.

The following is purely speculation on my part:
Autistic people sometimes say offensive things without realizing it. They do not pick up other peoples non verbal signals from that one is not wanted. Indirect verbal signals that the person does not want you such as euphemisms and sarcasm are not picked up. Autistic people also sometimes get too close then others want.

Too much alcohol makes all people lose their inhibitions and leads to inappropriate behaviors that bother and frighten others. Bouncers throw people out for inappropriate behaviors.

If an autistic is inebriated their inhibitions go down often leading to creepy behaviors.

Well they could at least of give you a warning before they kick you out.

One of the bouncers who works there has a family member who is autistic by the way.

Sorry Jamesy, it wasn't so much the bouncer. One or more of the people you talked to may have complained to him about you. He wasn't discriminating, he was doing his job. They probably told him you were bothering them or he read their expressions as needing assistance. I hope you simply made merry somewhere else. Stay away from there for a long time - like a good 6 months. Just curious - was social distancing in place at that bar? Maybe that was the issue. . Also, were you buying drinks or just hanging around in there? Pubs want you to keep spending. That's their profit.

Well they could at least of give you a warning before they kick you out.

One of the bouncers who works there has a family member who is autistic by the way.[/quote.

Some people believe that no autistics go to bars.

ASPartOfMe is correct. I worked in bars for several years.

It's not the bouncers' job to teach people manners/etiquette. It's their job to protect the bar and it's business interests. If regulars, who spend a lot of money there, are being irritated by some new guy.. it's their job to show that new guy the door in order not to risk losing the business of the regulars that pay the bills.

At least they were professional and civil about it vs. the quick to violence type bouncers that may have literally thrown you out on your ass.

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Based on your description (which does not specify what statements or actions you allegedly made that customers overreact about), neither the bouncer not the bartender said that you did anything illegal , immoral or even rude.

"We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone". The customers that overreacted, paid more cash than you. You might not have done anything wrong.

However the bartender did not "discriminate" against you

It's not a court of law where a bouncer is a lawyer or judge and required to spell anything out for you. All they have to do is say you're not welcome here, gtfo. It might be because you're annoying, irritating, obnoxious, loud, distracting, in someone's personal space, smelly, or any other number of reasons. But mostly it's because they're protecting the bar, it's staff, and their regular customers. Hell, it could even be because someone is drunk - it's technically illegal to be drunk in a bar here. People can be thrown out for being intoxicated.

But yeah, in general, as a business, you keep your regular paying customers happy and decline to serve those they don't want around.

That's another reason why I don't go to bars. There are way too many precise rules. How are people supposed to follow these rules if they're drinking alcohol and getting drunk? Where I come from most NT people get drunk in bars.
Bars are social places, places where most people can let their hair down, and there is no drink limit (at least not in the UK anyway). Bouncers should only chuck people out if they're about to start a fight or are sexually assaulting or whatever, not just for going up to people chatting. What else are bars for? It's not the movies.

And thus, social rules apply. If people misbehave then they might be tossed out.

Some ideas I thought of that weren't really mentioned in this thread are that maybe you were talking too loud James, somebody thought you were staring at them, or your body language & tone of voice & facial expressions got misread. Maybe they thought you were gonna cause a problem because you were already drunk & your behavior seemed like a warning sign. If you were talking to a woman, perhaps her boyfriend/husband thought you were flirting with her or just worried that she might be into you so the guy complained hoping you'd be kicked out. Also some bars try to keep a certain ratio of women to guys or just have a limit on how many people can be allowed in & you might of seemed like the weakest link so to speak.

Comedian Ron White supposedly got thrown out of a bar here in America for simply wearing a hat they disliked

Well America is a f****d up country anyway so nothing what goes on there surprises me any more.

But the OP is from England, so he shouldn't be experiencing such ridiculousness.

Ha - people stare at me all the time like it's the done thing to do but do I go telling authorities to remove them? Some people need to grow up.

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People stare at me more than when seems like a justified amount. Zero times did tell authorities to remove them. However, if I were to have told authorities to remove them, it is hard to imagine that authorities would have removed them.

Also, eye contact and staring" are subtle.

Sometimes someone thinks someone is staring at them but that is not correct

Sometimes someone is staring at someone but not aware of it or on purpose

Sometimes someone is staring at something else

Staring is not illegal


Some precious lil "people" act like when they are not happy, it means someone violated their "rights".

But nobody has a "right" to be happy

I've gotten in trouble for staring a few times when I was in elementary school & I've been accused of it more than a few times since then. When I was working at my 2nd job which was retail, a customer went to management because she thought I was staring at her. Management didn't talk to me directly, they told the backup to my department's supervisor cuz they saw him before they saw my supervisor & they just wanted me to be more careful so I wasn't in trouble or anything. All the times I've gotten accused I was not even aware I was doing it. Ironically I never gotten accused of staring when I actually was. I'm not counting my girlfriend, we stare at each other.

I completely agree with you about America Joe if it's anything bad anyways. I am surprised when anything good happens here.

I don't tend to stare at people because I can feel their discomfort if I do stare. Also my eye contact is natural , and when I'm around strangers I suddenly become conscious of who I'm looking at and it takes up all my mental energy to not look at strangers.

Sorry I am going off-topic. The OP often posts about issues that happen with him in pubs and bars, so maybe he's visibly socially inept, but then again isn't everyone socially inept when drunk? I know it may seem people are more social when drunk but most become "active but odd". I've seen enough drunk people in my life to see that some act like lunatics when drunk, whether they're NT or not. Even people who are just tipsy are sometimes like in your face and annoying and unpredictable. That's why drunk people scare me and I avoid bars because of this.

Clubs and bars when bouncers are around is like a mine field of unwritten rules and it doesn’t take much to step on a mine in that environment.