How can I stop being envious of other peoples' successes ?

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I don't know why but this story here in the UK about this 23 year old Love Island star boasting about how successful she is as a stylist and as a business-woman has somehow reignited the envy even though I don't want to be someone like her, the envy is purely because she is 23 and that at 23, I wasn't at that stage. I had just left uni without graduating even though I had only started 3 or 4 months before mainly due to stress. It always seems to imply that if you are already at that age, you should be at the peak of your career and success already similar to an artist or band of young members already makes millions from a debut album and become world famous all of a sudden. I can't sing and have tried to play bass a few times but gave up because I couldn't follow the tunes because I never realised it was hard even though when you listen you may think it is easy. I like music but I feel I wasn't committed or passionate enough to be a musician because my interests and hobbies kept changing. Some people have said well, its all about the hard work you put in to get to where you want to be and that they may have connections with other people who got them to where they are today.

Become successful yourself.

Be happy for them instead.

But in your own way. Don't chase an ideal that others are living, remember social media and news tend to worship celebrity and only focus on the glitz.

Find your own niche.

My thing was computers.

↑ Truth.

Mine was electrical engineering.

I am envious of my boyfriend's kids because they were all high school dropouts and got in with the wrong crowds and took drugs, without a single grade or qualification to speak of, yet all 3 of them got their first jobs at 16 years old even though my boyfriend says neither him or his ex-wife knew the employers who employed them.

Yet I left school at 17 with grades (not very good grades but at least I passed), went to college, gained experience by doing voluntary work, and done a few training courses, but didn't get my first paying job until I was 22.

Maybe I would have been more successful if I dropped out of high school, took drugs and had no grades, qualifications or skills to enter the adult world with.

And some forms of successful involve helping others. If you are successful at helping others, they will remember you.

(Of course, you'll still need a way to pay your bills. But that doesn't have to be where you are a star!)

Accept that that how's the cards were dealt is how I go.

I have a benign type of envy for most people with those "simple" things, like marriage, family, having little issues with employment and such. They're my grand visions, because they're grand to me. Many men would be envious of me for various things all the same. The grass is always greener; there's snakes in mine. I do smile when I see people together happily and families. I do kinda get annoyed when bad people attain such, which makes me find those questions that I can't find answers.

Good comment. I've never believed in striving to have money, I was always more jealous of the easiness people have communicating with each other and how they were able to have fun at parties where I was soooo bored. It's taken a long time for me to find contentment.

It helps doing work I find fulfilling. That kind of work doesn't necessarily pay well, but it makes me feel like I have accomplished something at the end of the day... Thought there are days where I scroll stack overflow desperately searching for a solution and want to burn my laptop, but mostly I'm happy doing what I do.

I do a bit of voluntary work too and help someone out who really appreciates it. Being someone's listening ear is also fulfilling. I've learned I can fix people's problems, but I can give them the space they need to express themselves.

You don't have to "stop being envious".

If you want, could just put more emphasis on what you are trying to accomplish and worry less about other people

Every situation is different

"It's not what you know. It's who you know"

If you want you could define and measure success in ways that do not involve cash

Otherwise you could just worry less about success

Diversions

Hobbies.

Friends

Goals

The person I was referring to at the beginning of this thread was a lady called Molly Mae who was been on the recent Love Island series and she was being hounded online because she quoted herself as saying it was her privilege that got her to where she is now and why she is already successful at 22 or 23 and that she already had a business mindset when she was 19. As I have said before I get envious because I wasn't in that mindset as I wasn't thinking about creating a business at 19 as I was then still at college doing art and design and I beat myself up in my head for not following something that she is doing.

I don't know what the reason behind it is, is it really to make lots of money and have all the nice flashy things like a nice car and so on. A part of me feels like I'm not interested in making lots of money and having all the stuff you get when you have lots of money, my car is just a ford fiesta not a flashy porsche or jaguar because I feel not that interested in it even though it was my dad who got me into driving and not myself and just went along with it despite having to get public transport and walk to places.

It might help to remember that a lot of the people who seem so happy or lucky aren't necessarily what they seem--especially if they're in the public eye. People sculpt their images on social media, and the biggest stars have professionals who manage them--market them--to make them look hotter, happier, healthier, richer, more popular--you name it.

There are plenty of things that might make life more enjoyable or easier if we had them, but not always. Focusing on them too much can sometimes lead to more disappointment when/if we actually obtain or achieve them.

Stardom and great fortune are nearly nearly impossible for anyone, but popular culture makes it seem like anyone who doesn't "make it big" has failed. Try, try, try not to buy into that b.s.! Turn off the show, unsubscribe from whatever, and put down the stuff you're reading.

I seem to think some people are like Alexander the Great trying to conquer and overcome obstacles sometimes ruthlessly in order to achieve them in a hurry by the age of 33 for example. I know he may not be the right character to compare some people to but Alexander won his first battle at 20 and had conquered half the known world at the time by 30.

"I will never amount to anything because Alexander the Great conquered most of the Middle East by the time he was my age."

Is that how you think?

No, I don't compare myself to Alexander the Great I was just pointing out that some people have probably read about him and been inspired not because of his conquests in which probably thousands died but just aspired to achieve something before a certain age. Its a bit like from what I heard Sun Tzu's Art of War has inspired even business men and women over strategies in business not just military strategists.

How does this apply to your envy of other people's success?