Old family pictures,to trash or not.

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Jakki
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18 Jan 2022, 7:35 pm

Okay now am trying to clean up in spots not cleaned before .Have found old family pictures .
Saved by husband when cleaning out parents home after Mother died . lots of them.
Now am torn all the people in these pictures except my little sister . She was a nonverbal Aspie Severely abused me and her growing up , Mother made sure we lost contact with her, and all extended relatives. All old black and whites . Have no contact with any of these individuals for over 20 +yrs and the one , i did, became abusive over the phone. Nearly completely destroying my life , one did at one point 14 yrs ago. [Do i keep them or burn or otherwise trash them.?] Have been torn over this decision for a few years now. Already feel like a person with no family .
Any opinions .


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r00tb33r
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18 Jan 2022, 7:48 pm

I'm afraid of permanent choices so I tend to keep everything.



IsabellaLinton
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18 Jan 2022, 7:48 pm

I went through similar last year, when I finally sorted about 5,000 photos which were stashed in drawers and old albums all over my house. My goal was to make new photo albums in chronological order, and get rid of unwanted memories. Hundreds of the photos were very distressing. I chose to cut them with scissors and be done with them. A few of them had other "good" people in the same photo so I did the adolescent thing of cutting people out, literally. That being said, none of the traumatic people were family members. It must be an awkward call for you to make.

Options:

- Are there any pictures that bring you neutral memories rather than bad?

- Do you have a scanner? I'm thinking you might want to copy just one or two of the pictures for reference, and get rid of any upsetting originals so they won't be "cluttering" your world in a tangible way.

- Getting rid of originals can be therapeutic. I used scissors but I've heard of other people burning photos or having some kind of closure in another grand gesture.

- If you choose to keep them, you might want to seal them all in a box so you know you won't accidentally look at them, or feel triggered when you don't expect it.

We can be your family, Jakki. No one is without family when they belong here.


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Jakki
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18 Jan 2022, 8:04 pm

:D Thank you very Much Isabella :D


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txfz1
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18 Jan 2022, 8:22 pm

Have some closure with a firepit or fireplace and a hot chocolate, watch 'em burn.



IsabellaLinton
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18 Jan 2022, 8:28 pm




Just to cheer you up, here's Friends - "The Girls Try to Break the Bad Boyfriend Cycle"

It has a bonfire 8)


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Doberdoofus
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18 Jan 2022, 8:30 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:

- If you choose to keep them, you might want to seal them all in a box so you know you won't accidentally look at them, or feel triggered when you don't expect it.



^ My opinion also.


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Jakki
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18 Jan 2022, 8:39 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:



Just to cheer you up, here's Friends - "The Girls Try to Break the Bad Boyfriend Cycle"

It has a bonfire 8)


I liked the bonfire ritual .. it might be appropriate, and add alittle hot chocolate :D


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auntblabby
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18 Feb 2022, 6:50 pm

the more process or steps in the ritual, the more final the closure. :idea: