Being a little bit naughty

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What have you done that is just a little naughty.

For example, today I called the doctor's for test results. On the automated message it said to call after 2PM to get the results. It was 11:30AM. Instead of putting the phone down I waited until the automated message said 'if you want to speak to an employee for any other reason please hold'
Then I asked them for the test results.

I can tell that made you feel happy

We all do things like that. It's cool.

Last night I made a Facebook post about how I heard that some kind of deadly brain eating amoeba is becoming more common because of climate change, but most humans don't have to worry since the amoebas can't eat something most humans don't have.

The neighbor let her little white dog run loose whenever it had to do its ‘business’. One day, I found it taking a dump in my back yard because a meter reader had left the gate open. So I quietly closed the gate, caught the pooch, and dyed its fur green. Once it had dried, I let it go.

I did not see either the dog or its owner for about a week, and when I did, the dog had been given a buzz-cut, and it was on a leash.

Still kinda greenish, though.

Messages on the answering machine not always clearly heard to the recipient


A job interviewer had the nerve to leave a message on my phone that my message was "completely unintelligible"

Just because one precious lil "person" doesn't hear or understand something doesn't mean there is something wrong with the message

The job interviewer acted like she was so innocent and just delivering "the truth"

However some precious lil "people" desperately need to pay attention and wear hearing aids

(She) They were rude to me

I was at a New Year's Eve party at my clubhouse 19 years ago. I asked one member when her due date was and she told me to F-off. It turns out she wasn't pregnant. I also gave a diabetic woman some punch when her boyfriend kept on telling her not to drink any, not knowing that she had diabetes. I was also dancing like a madman on the dance floor when the music was playing. I kept striking poses and doing my Austin Powers impressions.

Someone kept stealing my lunch from the company break room refrigerator -- no one else's, just mine.

I went out to lunch one day after mixing a little laxative (e.g., phenolphthalein) into some food and leaving it in the fridge in a bag with my name on it.

The next day, it was easy to determine the thief by who called in sick -- "A bad case of the runs", he said.

I used to mess with my boss’ phone at work. Sometimes I’d tape the little plastic tabs down, so when it rang and he picked up the phone, it kept ringing. Sometimes I’d remove the earpiece and put some paper in it… so whoever was ringing could hear him, but he couldn’t hear them. Sometimes I’d put the paper in the mouthpiece, so he could hear them but they couldn’t hear him.

One Christmas I parcelled the whole phone up in wrapping paper and left it like a present.

He also had a little plastic shaker with artificial sweeteners in. He’d always shake it… to check it was full… and then press the top to pop two sweeteners in his coffee. I dismantled it and blocked it with some paper. He’d shake it, click it twice… no sweeteners… he’d just keep doing it and no result.

He was just clueless and never really worked out what was going on.

Throwing banana peels on the floors in nursing homes.

I Zip-tied shopping carts to the door handles of a sports car taking up two handicapped spaces in front of a store.

No, the driver did not have a handicap sign or plate.

I took something from the hotel room I stayed in recently - The Book of Mormon. It was in the nightstand.

This was my first and last episode of thievery.

I'm usually trying to annoy people who insist on parking across our driveway. I throw food on their cars so birds and animals climb all over and make a mess on their cars. Then they say, I'm not parking here again, the car gets too dirty!