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mharrington85
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22 Apr 2023, 3:16 pm

How is lying different than "faking it until you make it"? Don't they both involve dishonesty?



MatchboxVagabond
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23 Apr 2023, 10:13 am

The main difference is that with lying you know that it's false. With faking it you're counting on it ultimately not being false. Or making it true by enough time spent behaving as if it's true. The line between the two isn't particularly easy to define and often people get it wrong.



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23 Apr 2023, 2:22 pm

I think of lying as telling somebody something that I know is not factual. I think of faking it as a variation of masking.


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23 Apr 2023, 2:27 pm

"Fake it til you make it" is usually more about pretending you have your crap together so that it appears like you do, and until you actually learn to have your crap together.

Liiiiike..... Masking is a form of "fake it til you make it", I think.


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23 Apr 2023, 2:28 pm

Lying doesn't have to be bad, so even if faking it is lying it isn't bad if you're not intending to upset or hurt anybody by doing it.

Not saying the OP was saying this, but it seems common among Aspies (people on the spectrum) to have an aversion to any sort of lying like it's a crime.

Sometimes respecting people involves lying, if you were brought up with certain beliefs that you know would offend some groups of people then you try your best to keep your opinions to yourself to avoid looking like a bully.


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23 Apr 2023, 7:33 pm

I always thought of 'fake it 'til you make it' as something like 'manifesting'. Where you know it isn't real, but you're trying to wish it into existence. I dunno if it's lying if you know it isn't true and you are doing it to convince yourself and not others. If anything, you'd be lying to yourself, but you know the truth anyway.

Personally, I think that faking it until you make it is a bunch of b.s., but that's just me.



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23 Apr 2023, 7:41 pm

FleaOfTheChill wrote:
I always thought of 'fake it 'til you make it' as something like 'manifesting'. Where you know it isn't real, but you're trying to wish it into existence. I dunno if it's lying if you know it isn't true and you are doing it to convince yourself and not others. If anything, you'd be lying to yourself, but you know the truth anyway.

Personally, I think that faking it until you make it is a bunch of b.s., but that's just me.


"Fake it until you make it" always seemed like lying to myself and how can you trust anyone if you can't trust yourself? It really causes a lot of self-doubt and a loss of self-confidence.



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23 Apr 2023, 8:08 pm

DanielW wrote:
FleaOfTheChill wrote:
I always thought of 'fake it 'til you make it' as something like 'manifesting'. Where you know it isn't real, but you're trying to wish it into existence. I dunno if it's lying if you know it isn't true and you are doing it to convince yourself and not others. If anything, you'd be lying to yourself, but you know the truth anyway.

Personally, I think that faking it until you make it is a bunch of b.s., but that's just me.


"Fake it until you make it" always seemed like lying to myself and how can you trust anyone if you can't trust yourself? It really causes a lot of self-doubt and a loss of self-confidence.


I could never get past the fact that I know it isn't reality. Like why would I do this stuff that is clearly the opposite of what I am? Even when it's meant to help, like pretending to be happy if you're sad... seems to me it would be better to deal with what was making you sad or allowing yourself time and space to be sad v/s trying to slap on some happy face. Or to get some professional help. It seems avoidant to me, and exhausting. I dunno.



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23 Apr 2023, 8:26 pm

FleaOfTheChill wrote:
I could never get past the fact that I know it isn't reality. Like why would I do this stuff that is clearly the opposite of what I am?


You could look at faking it until you make it as a form of delusional thinking. As you said, it isn't reality. You are trying to live in some sort of fantasy world instead.



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23 Apr 2023, 8:47 pm

ProfessorJohn wrote:
FleaOfTheChill wrote:
I could never get past the fact that I know it isn't reality. Like why would I do this stuff that is clearly the opposite of what I am?


You could look at faking it until you make it as a form of delusional thinking. As you said, it isn't reality. You are trying to live in some sort of fantasy world instead.


Eh, that's what daydreams are for.

I'm not a mask-er. I've never much been able to do that. I mean, I can do things like force eye contact for short periods of time when I have to or not stim in public when standing in line somewhere to not be disruptive, but on the whole, I'm kinda just unapologetically who and what I am. If there's something about myself I want to change, I'll just try to implement the change. If I can't, I have to figure out if it's unrealistic and then set more attainable goals, or get help if I can't do it on my own. I don't see how pretending would help me.

I'm not trying to say that faking it wouldn't help anyone. The placebo effect is real. The brain is a fascinating thing. It might be a powerful self help tool for someone out there. I dunno. I just know it wouldn't do me any good and I think there are probably better ways to make changes happen that are more set in reality than fantasy.

Now I'm wondering if this kind of thing does help people. Hm. I hear about this stuff, but I've yet to run into someone it's worked for. But in all fairness, it's not like I talk to a lot of people :lol:



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23 Apr 2023, 11:20 pm

FleaOfTheChill wrote:
I could never get past the fact that I know it isn't reality. Like why would I do this stuff that is clearly the opposite of what I am? Even when it's meant to help, like pretending to be happy if you're sad... seems to me it would be better to deal with what was making you sad or allowing yourself time and space to be sad v/s trying to slap on some happy face. Or to get some professional help. It seems avoidant to me, and exhausting. I dunno.
Real life required me to do lots of things that was the opposite of who I am like going to school, working in retail, & going shopping. I think faking it till I make it could mean me trying not to make a horrible impression in those situations hoping that those experiences would get easier for me to handle & navigate over time. Situations do become easier for me to deal with after I get more used to them.

I think of lying about myself as me making up BS stories about my life in order to make better impressions kinda like catfishing. Claiming I worked a job I never had in order to get hired in a similar industry. Telling women I'm really into physical fitness & traveling in the hopes they'll go out with me. Saying I know celebrities hoping others would think I'm really kewl.


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