Two things are needed in male fashion 1) awareness 2) purchasing/laundering/wearing.
It this point it sounds like you should put some effort into awareness. If you have no idea what is in fashion and out of fashion there isn’t much point to trying to change how you look in the buying and wearing department.
You also talk about sensory defensiveness. This complicates the wearing and may inform the buying but you still need to be aware.
Starting with awareness is key because, without a sense of what styles feel right for you (and maybe also resonate socially), changing up your wardrobe might feel like throwing darts in the dark. One way to start could be by observing men’s styles that appeal to you in media, whether that’s online, on TV, or even just people-watching. Not necessarily copying, but looking for ideas on what feels “in” and also aligns with your comfort preferences.
Your sensory defensiveness is a factor here, too, and that’s entirely valid. It means you’ll have to look for a middle ground—finding clothing options that align with what’s considered fashionable but also feel comfortable on your skin. For instance, once you’re aware of a style you like, you can focus on soft, flexible fabrics or tagless options that fit that style. Brands focused on comfort or sensory-friendly options might be useful to explore.
If you’re able to identify a few styles that feel socially appropriate but still cater to your sensory needs, it could be a game-changer. Fashion doesn’t have to be all about fitting in, but if it helps with feeling confident or comfortable around others, that’s a worthwhile goal.
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ADHD-I(diagnosed) ASD-HF(diagnosed)
RDOS scores - Aspie score 131/200 - neurotypical score 69/200 - very likely Aspie