The man vs bear meme

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The man vs bear is just another stupid way to make men feel bad for having XY chromosomes.

Yes it does look a bit stupid. I looked it up and found one response that suggested it was offensive to give a woman a pamphlet containing self-defense tips (in case of attack by a man). I suppose it depends how effective the tips are, but that wasn't mentioned.

It's not stupid. The point of it is to demonstrate that women have reason to be afraid of men, because if you are woman, a man you don't know, and sometimes one that you do, can physically assault you. Everyone understands that there is reason to be afraid of a bear, but most men don't understand that women have reason to be afraid of a man.

That some men attack and rape women is a fact. If it makes you feel bad, then act on it by helping to educate men and helping to hold those who rape accountable. There is still a huge gap in accountability of men who commit sexual assaults.

The pamphlet that gives women tips on how to stay safe is objectionable because it assumes it's women's responsibility to protect themselves against aggressive men rather than society's responsibility to protect women against these men, and that ultimately the responsible party is the man who commits a rape. The woman who is his victim is never the responsible party.

As an older man, I too am afraid of aggressive men, but I'd welcome a good pamphlet explaining my self-defense options. I agree society should make the world safe for the vulnerable to walk about in, but it's been a problem for thousands of years, and I don't think it's going to change. In the UK we're not even allowed to carry pepper sprays or tasers. Personally I'd feel safer if I was allowed to do that. I sympathise with the resentment that we're still living in a dangerous society, and daren't walk alone in safety, but I don't think the meme is helpful because it insinuates the blame onto all men, and the dangerous ones won't take a blind bit of notice. But they would take notice of a facefull of pepper spray.

Not all men are rapists, of course, but potentially any man could be a rapist. That is the point of the meme. That is why women have reason to be afraid of a random man just like everyone has reason to be afraid of a bear. (No one argues that hey, some bears won't attack you. In fact, most of the time a bear won't attack you. That doesn't make it safe to be around a bear.)

And while anyone can be mugged, attacked, or beaten, sexual assault against women is particularly common, and it often is not prosecuted and when it is there is often no conviction or only a minor penalty. This is because of a historical attitude of entitlement among some men and the embedded societal belief that women matter less. That's why it's a serious societal problem that is everyone's problem and needs to be everyone's concern.

Some of your points are very likely correct. I still don't see anything wrong with trying to make sure women know more about how to defend themselves. It doesn't fix the root cause of the problem, but for the individual potential victim I think it's more effective than a meme on social media. What I think would be wrong is if those who could do something to fix the problem used the fact of spreading self-defense information as an excuse to do nothing else. My wife decided off her own bat to carry a pepper spray in case she ever has to go through a dangerous place, which I think is wise of her. I just wish there were training sessions where she and other women could become conversant with the rapid, effective use of such weaponry. As it is, all I can do is advise her to try using it a couple of times so that she'd at least save a couple of precious seconds if she ever needs to deploy it in real life.

@bee33~ Are you implying that men do not ever need to be afraid of other men & that men do not ever need to be afraid of other women I tend to think all hew-mons are potential threats.

Sexual violence and sexual harassment against women is a specific societal problem that the man vs bear meme is intended to address. Bringing up other dangers is like saying "all lives matter" when someone brings up Black Lives Matter. All lives do matter but when we are talking about societal racism it's a misdirect to bring that up, because there is an urgent need to specifically point out that black lives matter when black people are being killed.

Women are subjected to sexual assault as women, and society has historically done too little and sometimes nothing at all or worse, blamed women for being assaulted. Women as a group are discriminated against and treated as less than. That's an important issue. That's why it's crucial to talk about violence against women and sexual assault and harassment of women specifically. It's a misdirect to bring up other issues in that context.

It's not more effective than a meme, because the meme is intended to address a systemic societal issue, whereas information on self defense perpetuates the notion that the onus is on individual women to somehow protect themselves (if that were even possible). Emphasizing self defense for women redirects the discourse into the wrong direction, which ultimately does more harm than good. That's why people object to the pamphlets, it's not that they are opposed to self defense in itself.

woman: "im about be raped... society hasnt fixed this problem yet...i dont know how to defend myself...i should try to save myself with this meme"

Seriously? That's how you interpreted what I wrote. Or are you just trolling.

hhmmm?...theres no solution yet and teaching women how to defend themselves is an insult

If you're going to insult me and all women at least read.

No one objects to self defense training as a tool. And that's even though it's ineffective, because there's often no way to defend oneself. Still no one is saying don't do self defense training. Do you really not grasp the meaning behind recommending self defense: that it tells women they're on their own, and it's up to them, and if they failed to take the proper steps to defend themselves it's their fault. All while letting the actual culprits (society and the rapists) off the hook.

aight then

Stripping that of its counterproductive harshness, I guess the point is that effective self-defense is very likely more effective than a meme, at least in an individual incident, and in the short term. I would agree with that. Obviously I'd hope for a better solution, but if there is one, I think it's likely to be slow. So meanwhile, I support the spread of self-defense.

If you put in the time and effort, self defence is effective against an attacker. It's not an easy fix with some magic techniques. You need to build both your physique and your mind to get strong and you will have to practice and learn how to fight.