Sweetleaf wrote:
I am not sure though, because I have 'gotten through things' even some pretty bad things, but I can't say its ever helped me develop more courage.
To clarify:
When I say "face adversity", I don't mean something traumatic, and I don't mean something that didn't happen by choice. I mean reasonable obstacles that one intentionally undertakes.
If you think I meant "surviving trauma makes you brave, and the bigger the trauma the more bravery you get out of it", you are charmingly mistaken.
When I say "have to face it", I don't mean like two or three times. I mean like dozens of times, or more.
Additionally, bravery isn't an on/off switch that you either have or don't. It's not even a spectrum that you have more or less of. It's a scatter-plot, with varying degrees of bravery, across varying subjects. Someone can be brave around large dogs, but not snakes. Someone can be brave around snakes, but not on rollercoasters. Someone can be brave on rollercoasters, but not airplanes.
So it all depends on what exactly you want to be brave in the face of. Making phone calls? Going outside? Being around strangers? Being yourself? Talking to people? Speaking in front of people? Riding public transit? Whatever it is, that dictates how you approach it.
Afraid of phone calls? Start with something simple. Call a few stores and ask them their hours, maybe twice a week (different stores). That's it. Afraid of taking the bus? Take a bus from the nearest bus stop to the very next bus stop, so you're still only a few blocks away, do this a few times a week. Afraid to be yourself? Pick one small thing you can do or show or display, and try it out - not one or twice, but a few dozen times - not everyone may like it, but if you try it 20 times, and 18 people are cool with it, good. And if you try something 10 times, and 8 don't like it, stop, try something else.
Fear usually comes from unfamiliarity - if you haven't done it much, you don't know what to expect. In the absence of knowledge or experience, imagination takes over, where the worst of things can and do usually happen, in an anxious mind. If you do it dozens of times, hundreds of time, it's no longer unfamiliar, and you have a better idea of what to expect, having done it. Whatever you do, however small, just keep doing it, and edging it forward, bit by bit.