No Hope But I Guess I Will Keep Going

Page 1 of 1 [ 3 posts ] 

ArticVixen
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 14 Apr 2024
Gender: Female
Posts: 40
Location: Washington State

03 Jan 2025, 12:42 am

I really want to have hope for 2025 but well I honestly just don't. It seems ever since 2019 my life has been a repeating cycle of depression, toxic job, getting groomed, (I am taking a break from dating for now) and family abuse.

I don't want to give up though. If I ever learn to drive, I can finally be free at last. Also, it's my ticket to get out of my sh***y job.

My all-time favorite anime "Puella Magi Madoka Magica" and "Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid" are receiving theatrical films and those anime in my personal opinion are masterpieces. Those franchises gave me comfort. I have collections dedicated to my favorite characters Homura Akemi and Kanna Kamui from their respective source material.

Anyways, I really want to see those movies on the big screen and that should be my motivation to learn how to drive. I'm a slow learner and honestly I haven't been caught up with my notes for the permit test yet.

I am getting back into drawing which sort of gave me meaning in my life. I took a long break from art due to art block and occupied with adulting. Now I am less fearful to "screw up" in my sketchbook and just do it. My skills are kinda rough however I am seeing some improvement here and there.

Eventually I want to learn how to code. One of my planned careers is to become a freelance web developer. This sounds stupid but I dream of having my business in Japan. I love the culture and media to the point I am trying to study Japanese despite my little free time.

Well, I guess that's all I have to say about my life and goals. I just wanted to get that off my chest. Right now I am lonely and having an early-life crisis. It feels good to write down how I feel. I really hope there is a silver lining in the future. Image



Gentleman Argentum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Aug 2019
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,019
Location: State of Euphoria

03 Jan 2025, 12:57 am

ArticVixen wrote:
I really want to have hope for 2025 but well I honestly just don't. It seems ever since 2019 my life has been a repeating cycle of depression, toxic job, getting groomed, (I am taking a break from dating for now) and family abuse.

I don't want to give up though. If I ever learn to drive, I can finally be free at last. Also, it's my ticket to get out of my sh***y job.

My all-time favorite anime "Puella Magi Madoka Magica" and "Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid" are receiving theatrical films and those anime in my personal opinion are masterpieces. Those franchises gave me comfort. I have collections dedicated to my favorite characters Homura Akemi and Kanna Kamui from their respective source material.

Anyways, I really want to see those movies on the big screen and that should be my motivation to learn how to drive. I'm a slow learner and honestly I haven't been caught up with my notes for the permit test yet.

I am getting back into drawing which sort of gave me meaning in my life. I took a long break from art due to art block and occupied with adulting. Now I am less fearful to "screw up" in my sketchbook and just do it. My skills are kinda rough however I am seeing some improvement here and there.

Eventually I want to learn how to code. One of my planned careers is to become a freelance web developer. This sounds stupid but I dream of having my business in Japan. I love the culture and media to the point I am trying to study Japanese despite my little free time.

Well, I guess that's all I have to say about my life and goals. I just wanted to get that off my chest. Right now I am lonely and having an early-life crisis. It feels good to write down how I feel. I really hope there is a silver lining in the future. Image


I admire Japanese anime as well, there is a lot of innovation that they offer in the "cartoon" space. I collected about a dozen top-rated anime films and plan to watch them some day.

A good job really can be life-transforming, I hope that you find one. There are unfortunately a lot of toxic jobs out there, I have been in them myself.

If you wait long enough, you may not need to learn to drive. I hope that self-driving cars become prevalent in the world to put a cork on all these drunk and distracted drivers.

I felt depressed this morning too, lying in bed thinking about all the dates I have been on, the graveyard of former acquaintances that found some fault with which they could not abide and said adieu. A part of me thinks, "Why even bother?" Indeed, I would prefer to be an system on a computer. Perhaps humans are destined to be replaced by computers, or perhaps we will end our organic existence to reside on computers.


_________________
My magical motto is Animus facit nobilem. I like to read fantasy and weird fiction. Just a few of my favorite online things: music, chess, and dungeon crawl stone soup.


ArticVixen
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 14 Apr 2024
Gender: Female
Posts: 40
Location: Washington State

01 Feb 2025, 2:40 am

Gentleman Argentum wrote:
ArticVixen wrote:
I really want to have hope for 2025 but well I honestly just don't. It seems ever since 2019 my life has been a repeating cycle of depression, toxic job, getting groomed, (I am taking a break from dating for now) and family abuse.

I don't want to give up though. If I ever learn to drive, I can finally be free at last. Also, it's my ticket to get out of my sh***y job.

My all-time favorite anime "Puella Magi Madoka Magica" and "Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid" are receiving theatrical films and those anime in my personal opinion are masterpieces. Those franchises gave me comfort. I have collections dedicated to my favorite characters Homura Akemi and Kanna Kamui from their respective source material.

Anyways, I really want to see those movies on the big screen and that should be my motivation to learn how to drive. I'm a slow learner and honestly I haven't been caught up with my notes for the permit test yet.

I am getting back into drawing which sort of gave me meaning in my life. I took a long break from art due to art block and occupied with adulting. Now I am less fearful to "screw up" in my sketchbook and just do it. My skills are kinda rough however I am seeing some improvement here and there.

Eventually I want to learn how to code. One of my planned careers is to become a freelance web developer. This sounds stupid but I dream of having my business in Japan. I love the culture and media to the point I am trying to study Japanese despite my little free time.

Well, I guess that's all I have to say about my life and goals. I just wanted to get that off my chest. Right now I am lonely and having an early-life crisis. It feels good to write down how I feel. I really hope there is a silver lining in the future. Image


I admire Japanese anime as well, there is a lot of innovation that they offer in the "cartoon" space. I collected about a dozen top-rated anime films and plan to watch them some day.

A good job really can be life-transforming, I hope that you find one. There are unfortunately a lot of toxic jobs out there, I have been in them myself.

If you wait long enough, you may not need to learn to drive. I hope that self-driving cars become prevalent in the world to put a cork on all these drunk and distracted drivers.

I felt depressed this morning too, lying in bed thinking about all the dates I have been on, the graveyard of former acquaintances that found some fault with which they could not abide and said adieu. A part of me thinks, "Why even bother?" Indeed, I would prefer to be an system on a computer. Perhaps humans are destined to be replaced by computers, or perhaps we will end our organic existence to reside on computers.
Sorry for neceoposting an old comment. Anyways, thank you for the kind encouragement! :heart: I wish I had the money for a self driving car. Constantly fixing my Honda Pilot has been costing me a lot of money! :roll:

As for the last part I actually one time had a dream where the whole population was functioning robots while there was less humans. Everything looks futuristic although depressingly minimalistic. Everyone was wearing Jetson-like suits (they looked bland, reminding me of the modern Walmart interior color scheme) and there was an intercom playing what I think was propaganda speeches. Reminds me of North Korea.

Oh, and the robots were the only ones that had jobs. I guess the humans were homeless?