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What is "indirect bullying"?

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Brittany2907
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12 Sep 2007, 5:59 am

I made a thread a while back on the haven, and someone said that it sounds like people are "bullying me indirectly".

The thing is...I have no idea what that means.

Can someone explain to me what indirect bullying is?


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alexbeetle
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12 Sep 2007, 7:07 am

here are some websites that deal with adults being bullied and what that can constitute

http://www.kickbully.com/main.html
http://www.andreaadamstrust.org/

I think indirect bullying maybe things like exclusion and being talked/joked about rather than people being directly physically or verbally intimidating or violent.
I think the indirect stuff is harder to identify and deal with and that the people don't always know what they are doing and the effect it has, but it is just as damaging to the victim.


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sinsboldly
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12 Sep 2007, 9:58 am

when two people observe your actions and then talk behind their hands, flicking their eyes towards you like they are talking about you, even if they are not. . that is indirect bullying.

when two people are observing your actions and meet their eyes and roll them in a non verbal conversation indicating their judgement on your actions. The shocked look of the straightlaced when you have offended their sense of decorum. All this is to correct and intimidate your behaviour into more closely matching their comfort zone. It is all intended to 'bully' you, but indirectly. You see, if someone confronts them with their behaviour they can plead innocence by pointing to YOU as the cause of their distress.



Brittany2907
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12 Sep 2007, 5:08 pm

sinsboldly wrote:
when two people observe your actions and then talk behind their hands, flicking their eyes towards you like they are talking about you, even if they are not. . that is indirect bullying.

when two people are observing your actions and meet their eyes and roll them in a non verbal conversation indicating their judgement on your actions. The shocked look of the straightlaced when you have offended their sense of decorum. All this is to correct and intimidate your behaviour into more closely matching their comfort zone. It is all intended to 'bully' you, but indirectly. You see, if someone confronts them with their behaviour they can plead innocence by pointing to YOU as the cause of their distress.


Thanks...good exlplanation.

I don't understand why people would want to do this to me...but atleast I have an idea of what it is now.


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sinsboldly
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12 Sep 2007, 5:27 pm

Brittany2907 wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
when two people observe your actions and then talk behind their hands, flicking their eyes towards you like they are talking about you, even if they are not. . that is indirect bullying.

when two people are observing your actions and meet their eyes and roll them in a non verbal conversation indicating their judgement on your actions. The shocked look of the straightlaced when you have offended their sense of decorum. All this is to correct and intimidate your behaviour into more closely matching their comfort zone. It is all intended to 'bully' you, but indirectly. You see, if someone confronts them with their behaviour they can plead innocence by pointing to YOU as the cause of their distress.


Thanks...good exlplanation.

I don't understand why people would want to do this to me...but atleast I have an idea of what it is now.


oh, don't think that they do it only to you. They do it to anyone that they can get away with it with. You just happen to be who they are bullying at that moment. Watch them with others and you can see whom they faun upon (like a dog!) and who else they bully.
So often we think they single us out. no, there are a million of those they 'single out' and we are just interchangeable props to their own egos.