If you ever have children/ do have children

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If you have children, are they aspies? If you are an aspie and your child is an aspie, are you glad? if your an aspie and your child isn't are you said?

If you did have children (if you currently don't) would you want them to be aspie?

If I have kids i want them to be Aspie.

I would want them to be aspie. But I'm probably not going to have kids anyway. Even though it would be great bringing up a family and having my children continue everything on. I would be fair but also discipline my kids. I don't want any of my spawn turning out as street trash.

I have 2 children-both show a lot of signs. One is getting assessed next Tuesday.
I am glad that they are, and I think they are glad that I am. It's not too often anymore I see a child not afraid to ask questions about why you are telling them not to do something, or to do something, and it's not too often I see a parent take the time to explain anything anymore...

I feel bad at times too, though. My daughter is 3 and is trying so hard to be a "big kid" and the 2 year olds at her daycare treat her like a baby because she doesn't talk clearly at all-she still babbles. My son is 6 and is already getting picked on by the boys in his school and he's trying so hard to fit in.

Luckily, he has a very awesome and confident approach when they pick on him that he came up with after we had lots of discussions about it. It is weighing on him in other ways however.

It's kind of crappy because I can't even really show him what he *could* do differently, because I don't really know how all of that works, lol. We're a whole household full of "outsiders" in this area... but, on the upside, we're a house full of unique minds as well.

I'm also glad that they are aspie in a way because I feel a detachment (even from myself) a lot of the time, and my son just says "that's okay mommy, I have that too."

Last edited by nobodyzdream on 12 Sep 2007, 12:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'm not Aspie, but Add/hd

Our daughter exhibited similar traits to me and we had her 'tested' same as me with the same person.
This person felt our girl was just functioning at a high level and was easily bored, not Add/hd.
My wife, a pediatrician, still thinks our daughter may have add/hd.

I've noticed that she doesn't look people straight in the eye much, but not quite like someone I know who probably does have AS.
She does tend to enjoy her time alone, but again, not quite like what I'd figure someone with AS would.

I know she is a bit different (not wishful thinking, I really believe it), but this difference exhibits itself in such wonderful ways that I don't even want to put a label on her.
She's fine the way she is.

I have been learning from this place as well as from my friend who might have AS, about these differences in folks and how I don't need to change anyone because of them.
I am learning to appreciate people for who they are and I am learning to transfer this to my parenting.
I no longer encourage my daughter to 'change her behavior' so she will be better at 'socializing' with the other kids.
She seems very content in her own self, and I am really coming around to appreciate that.

Sorry about the rambling post.

If I have kids, I want them to be dead.

thats not very nice.

I don't want to have any preconceptions about our kids. They will be who they are, and I'll be curious to meet them.

I don't have children.

But if I ever do in the future then I would want them to be NT. Reason being that I would want them to fit in and not feel like an outsider like I did, and still do. I would want them to be happy and not always asking "Why don't people want to play with me at school?" or "Why do people call me names?" etc.
It's not always easy to understand why people do that, having AS confuses me a lot when trying to figure these things out and what I am doing wrong.

So yea...I wouldn't wish that my kids (if I have any in the future) have AS. In a way it is positive...but in many more ways, to me, confusing.

I have Asperger's and I don't have any Aspie children, my oldest son has moderate autism but is higher functioning and I have a gifted non-autistic child that has a few little OCD/AS quirks but not enough even for a PDD-NOS dx. Would I have liked to have had a child with Asperger's like myself, yeah I think so but Dylan is a wonderful child and while he has had more difficulties as a child than I did, he makes me feel blessed to have a child that I can understand more even if our challenges have been different and Brendon makes me glad that I also get to help him and understand him better too.

I have 5 kids, most of them are too young to predict aspie tendencies. I have an 8 year old girl that has a few traits, but not enough that I would consider her to be AS, they are not enough to even warrant an evaluation. My 3 year old girl was diagnosed with PDD-NOS, and I was told that when she is older that may change to an AS diagnosis. My 2 year old shows a few traits recently, but I am not sure where that is going to go. Lastly, the twins (boy/girl) are 15 months and I'm already seeing signs in the girl twin, she reminds me alot of myself and my 3 year old.

I wouldn't say that I want my children to be AS or to be NT. I want them to be what and who they are. They are each unique. I grew up going through plenty of hell because I was different. I want/hope I am the type of parent that at the very least can make my children know it's ok to be who they are. I know because I am an aspie that I don't give my children enough affection and that hurts me. I only recently learned of my AS status, I never knew why I couldn't reach out to them. If I had realized my status I believe that my family size would be much different. I had a period of time after the twins were born that I was upset that I had a tubal ligation (tubes tied) and couldn't have more children. The fact that I have realized since then that I am aspie and that has been confirmed diagnostically has taken away that sadness because I wouldn't want this family to be any larger, it's hard enough as it is.

I really believe I would only have had one or two kids if I knew all this, I always just figured my lack of affection was from the way I was raised (my mother never showed affection either) and that I could learn to be "better" but I will make the best of this that I can. I love every one of these kids.

I want kids, and I want to provide for them even half as good as my parents did. I would like them to be NT, but would be curious and would not have a problem if they had HFA/AS eather. I will be happy with who they are no matter what tho. I would be more interested in choosing the gender rather then NT status or not. I would want a boy and a girl if I could decide, as thats the family I grew up in.

I have 3 kids. The oldest is NT, but she has a lot of AS traits, my 5 yo has PDD-NOS, and is considered mid-high functioning, and my 3 yo is severely autistic. I'm not sure that I have AS, myself, but all 3 of my kids have their challenges, and strengths. In a lot of ways, I can't relate to my daughter. She has a different set of priorities then I ever did. She wants to be popular to have the glory of being popular. I wanted to be popular, because I just wanted to be liked, and fit in. When she asks me questions about how to respond to her friends, I'm kinda at a loss to be able to advise her. I didn't understand the other girls when I was 9, and I still don't. I don't worry as much about her, though. I do worry all the time about my boys. I think my 5 yo is so very misunderstood. Sometimes, it takes everything that I have not to release my mother's wrath on kids who are being rude to him. He tries SO hard. I worry about my youngest the most. I worry that I'm not choosing the right therapy, and he'll never learn to communicate. I worry that the frustration that that will cause will make him violent, and i won't be able to handle him when he's bigger. He's not very affectionate, but when he does give me a hug it makes my day!
All in all I'm happy with the way all 3 of them are, and I wouldn't wish them to be any different.

I have two children, both teenagers now. Thinking about it, my son (the eldest) probably has exhibited a few AS traits over the years - he had real problems at primary school relating to other children, although he has some good friends now, and he gets very obsessive about things. Generally, though, he rubs along in this good ol' NT world all right. My daughter is, as far as I can tell, NT - just your typical hormonal teenage girl...

I would agree very strongly with that. I have two children—one a very high-functioning, 17-year old autistic with dyslexia, and the other an extremely extroverted three-year-old, too young to tell for sure yet but very probably NT. My NT wife has also has two, both NTs, one with what may be her mother's same bipolar condition. I've found that simply seeing who any of the children become as they develop, with normal parental guidance, is a lot more interesting than trying to mold them into any preconceived image, and a lot less frustrating.

Would you eat them, and if so how do you like your meat?

Both me and my husband are NT, but both our children are AS. Now while my husband and I both have what could be considered Asperger-like traits, we would never diagnose with it, we are definitely more NT. My husband does have a cousin on his father's side with AS though, so go figure.