Bothered by the immense negativity & generalizations her
I can hardly believe some of the negative generalizations I see here about aspies written by aspies. Things like, "X can't be an aspie, he is too comfortable when speaking," and so on. It seems like some aspies here have a lower opinion of themselves and others with AS than the NTs they complain about. Please think about the effect of what you write. Don't you think that a young recently diagnosed aspie might come here looking for hope, understanding, and a foundation for achieving their wondrous goals, only to see the constant doom and gloom, be discouraged by it, think that the doom and gloom of others with their diagnosis means that it is their own fate too, and basically give up on life? I came here hoping to see an air of positivity about AS with the knowledge that while we do have difficulties, yes, they needn't define or limit us in the long run. Instead, I see too many people who are content to let it limit them and live up to the worst stereotypes of our kind. Sorry if I'm being harsh, but think about the message you send to young aspies when you make negative generalizations with the least constructive tone possible saying that aspies (and by extension, that individual youngsters who read the writings) are almost incapable of succeeding at ____. I suspect that this may not be well-received, but I feel it had to be said. Please know that I'm not against discussing problems here, as that's a large part of what this board is for, but I am against making defeatist statements which offer only more despair in which to drown with no complementing insight to counter it.
I hope you don't give up on life. If someone is feeling down, I don't mind the person saying something but what I do mind is when someone comes in and tells others what to do over themselves feeling down and making it seem as though all people on the spectrum suck.
Aspies are individuals and just because aspies have a label and diagnosis doesn't mean that everyone fits the same stereotypes tossed around either.
I sometimes wonder about such classifications and if they really help people integrate or if it's used to seperate.
Right now, what some people could use is just understanding because alot of people fear the unknown and when people don't have awareness, they will believe any stereotype shown in the media regarding those on the spectrum.
Anyways, I know it's easy to pick at details or analyze too much but just note that there are people here who are really very intelligent, creative, witty, nice or positive or all of the above that don't want to throw their bad outlook on life in a dictating fashion of how others should live their lives based on their own life scenerio.
As Rome falls, the people need a taste of last blood. This is it. One might be in their right mind to RISE above this and begin Something New and Improved.
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Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams. ~Mary Ellen Kelly
humans are analytical by nature. if one would look around at any on line board, they would find a lot of negativity, no matter what the subject, especially if it deals with health.
As for me, I don't feel bad when I come here. I'm new and although there are some people that have a not so good outlook on life, it doesn't bother me. I try to be as cheerful as I feel.
I think the conversations here are very interesting and even though someone comes here and isn't thrilled with life, I read what they have to say. You can learn from anything if you try.
wsmac
Veteran
Joined: 31 Aug 2007
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,888
Location: Humboldt County California
Can't do it in a vacuum though.
I understand when someone new comes here and says they see a bunch of negativity.
What I see is this...
People get depressed, angry, confused.
They come here and post about it. In these posts, sometimes they feel free to let it all out using the best words to describe their feelings at the moment.
There's not much 'sugar-coating' around here.
Other people read these words and post replies.
Some of these replies are positive and encouraging.
Some of these replies sound a bit like "tough love"
Some of these replies are more complaining which sometimes comes out as an attack on the original poster.
One of the things I would caution people about when replying to someone's thread here is to remember that your experiences are not theirs.
While some folks take a pill and find relief, others don't.
While some folks take their diagnosis (official or self) and 'move on' with their lives, others have a harder time doing so.
It is not right to tell someone else they are just not trying their best because I feel successful about my progress.
I am not their yardstick to measure by.
I do not know their lives.. even with the information some people post about their lives here.
There will be negative posts/threads and it will be okay.
If anything, I would think a young person might finally see that there is a safe place to vent one's feelings about how crappy their life is.
Once they do... the spirit of Wrong Planet kicks in. Person after person replies with support, advice, information to help that poster find their own success.
You all seem to focus on the negativity. I wonder if it helps you feel better about your lives when you can find fault in other's.
I'm not scolding you, just pointing out my observations.
It sounds like a 'tool' you use when you talk about how your succeeded and how other's can too.
We are here to open up our feelings, we are here to find a community where we feel normal, we are here for a varied number of reasons.
Let's not become a puppet show where all we do is talk positive even when that is not how we really feel.
That is not good communication... it is hiding behind a smile.
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wsmac
Veteran
Joined: 31 Aug 2007
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,888
Location: Humboldt County California
I spent my life listening to people talk about how they just made up their minds and did what they needed to do.
Troule was.. my ADD/HD.
It is real, it was real. I tried to do all those wonderful things that made everyone else successful... I failed because I did not understand.
Any young people who know how hard their lives are, how much their lives suck, are not necessarily going to see the 'negative' posts as confirmation of their poor lives and then quit trying.
If anything, I think they will find this is a place where people will understand what they mean when they say, "My life is s**t!" "I hate my life", etc.
I believe they will see that they are not going to get the same old, "Just pull yourself up by your bootstraps young lad and you can do it!", or "You're just not trying hard enough, that's all!", that they've been getting from people who don't understand what it's like to have a brain that functions this way.
They are going to see that there are people who hurt in much the same way they do, and then see the support that comes across.
I have never known a family yet that didn't have arguments between members.
The same applies here.
Yes... we will argue, we may even call each other names... but in the end, those who wish to be part of this family will stay and do so and will be expected to abide by the rules.
And I believe we should all be tolerant enough of each other to allow that, and I believe we are.
To me.. Wrong Planet is FULL of Positive things that are helping people more than hurting anyone.
_________________
fides solus
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LIBRARIES... Hardware stores for the mind