Why I never joined a chess club

Post Reply New Topic

I suck at chess, therefore, I would officially be the club b***h.
Coupled with the fact that PC gamers are more likable than these misfits and the complete absence of anything resembling a female, one of the members would probably have their mom knit me a cordoroy sweater ensconced with the the title ''The Beeyotch''. And I'd have to wear it if I wanted any of the baby carrots, fritos, soda, or ho-hos.
The matches would consist of me getting gang-raped, my pawns would lined up and exterminated like the inhabitants of a Bosnian village, while my knights are slowly tortured, the bishops burned at the stake, and the king and queen beheaded like King Louis and Marie Antoinette.
Then the president himself would play me.
Oh, receiving the frustrations of sexless, social outcasts is nothing compared to this man.
That dark figure reminiscent of Lucifer, he could've gotten with the program and obsessed over WoW, but no, he went with an outdated board game, that only serves as a excuse to leave his dank lair.
His fat butt sits on a swivel chair fashioned into the throne of the dark king, his sweaty shirt glistening with Red Bull and Cheetos. His face is that of the man who sold me manga and berated me for choosing what was not listed on his favorite forum, his bespectacled eyes freeze me, the freckles on his face resemble war-paint on the cheek of a warrior chieftain.
Then he beats, he doesn't walk away though, he gloats, and gloats .
He violates my personal space to personally tell me how he has just mentally inserted my king into my anus. He calls me noob over and over while his minions chant like the followers of a dark god.

Needless to say, I don't chess clubs

Insert Image:

This was supposed to be a joke, but it seems you didn't get it.
Great, now I know why aspies are bad at humor.
I have autistic friends who would've peed their pants laughing at that.

I was just kidding too. Aspie.

p.s. It is funny.

I didn't get the chess club joke, but then again I'm not the brightest nickel at the mint.

I do like the bunny.

That wasn't funny at all.

Then you are probably the captain of the chess team.

That was very good, it actualy sounds like professional writeing. I am not very good at chess either I just like to play for fun, if I wanted to I probably could obsess but there is no use in doing that when I just want to have fun. I rathered the gamers aswell but you do get some loud ones, and I am no good at PC games.