Puns

Post Reply New Topic

Someone digging in a garden or at work.
hey thats a dirty job but I guess someone has to do it, can you dig it?
I guess this means someones trying to get the (low down) dirt on you?
someone trying to dust you off?

Someone moving lumber from one place to another.
feeling a little board are we?

a rock rolls down a hill,
hey its rock and roll time.

someone digging a pit.
feeling down in the pits today are we?

Someone pushing a broom.
making a clean sweep of things today?

Some lady cleaning and cooking a fish.
someone smells fishy today.
somethings fishy.

So you think you're a big wheel,
she spoke

I wish I lived in the forest among the trees,
she pined.

Never fall in love with a tennis player,
Love means nothing to them.

Anyone who isn't pulling their weight,
is probably pushing their luck.

Warning: thread will consume your life... run, away!

As you know, there is no place like Gnome. That is Alaska time I will mention it.

Would you like to meet for tea and scones,say around 8 pm ?
No,thank you,I never eat scones so late.
It makes me disconsolate.

Champagne is nicer than real pain, and
Shampoo smells better than real poo.
Sun Uranus Saturn The Moon.
Two wrongs make a fight.
Misery loves Company and makes Conformity.
Someday comes after Doomsday.
Half of the people in the world are below average.
Board meetings are never fun.
I think liverwurst is definitely the wurst.
Doughnuts would be nice with some doughbolts.
If there really was a tooth fairy, why the hell would he want to buy teeth?
Don't worry if you see flying saucers. We're just having a mad tea party.
I'm not suffering from insanity. I'm enjoying every minute of it.

"I see," said the blind man as he picked up his hammer and saw.

(I love sight gags.)

Aarrggghhh! Puns! I enjoy making them myself, but they always seem intolerable coming from other people!

Oh the humanity...

My cats are the ideal kitties! One might say they're purr-fect.

What do you call an Irishman who steals your beer?
Nick McGuinness.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.

He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.

Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said 'No change yet'.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.



I didn't steal these puns!

Again a nice poem

Nobody likes puns.
Not even Lady Punelope from Punderbirds.