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Jamesy
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23 Feb 2009, 1:22 pm

What kind of people in your opinions sit and wait for good things to happen to them? Is is it self destructive to wait for good things to happen to you if you don't really make an effor yourself to change?

I'd apprecaite some answers to this question.



mitharatowen
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23 Feb 2009, 1:36 pm

Yes!!

You can't be the audience in your own life. You need to take charge and make things happen or else it is unlikely that anything ever will. I know someone who takes a passive role in his life.. he'll just 'wait and see' instead of working hard to achive the desired outcome. I really don't know how anyone can do such a thing and expect life to just hand them things??

I work hard to get the the things that I want. I don't want many things.. but when something needs to get done, you can be pretty much guaranteed that I will do it at the earliest opportunity. I was a stay-at-home college student without a car or driver's lisence but when I needed to get out of the house, I made things happen and was fully independant within 5 months. Same thing when I moved to CA. I stayed with some friends until I got on my feet but was in my own place within 5 months. Things like that just don't happen unless you really work hard to achieve them. It's very scary! But what needs to be done.. just needs to be done!



Acacia
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23 Feb 2009, 1:47 pm

Jamesy wrote:
is it self destructive to wait for good things to happen to you if you don't really make an effort yourself to change?

Not self-destructive, necessarily. But you are not doing yourself any favors this way.

I look at it like this....
My philosophy is that everything is always happening as it should. Good and bad are subjective terms that human beings invented, and do not truly define events. Stuff just happens. We spend far too much time worrying about things that will happen, ruminating over things that happened in the past, and being caught up in what we're doing right now.
It's much healthier and productive for us if we simply accept what is happening, whatever it is.

HOWEVER...

Such a philosophy could be interpreted as a kind of predestination; that "God" has planned out everything that has happened or will ever happen in the universe, and that our fate is unchangeable. I do not believe this. Just because everything is always happening as it should does not mean we cannot act. Work hard towards your dreams. Formulate goals and make a plan to acheive them. You may expect great things, but fail every time. That's OK, that's how things are. Accept it. Your effort can only increase the chances that those "good" things will indeed happen.

If you do nothing, and wait around for stuff to happen, it may or may not. That is how things are. Accept it. But don't expect a thing. You have far less of a chance of finding "good" things when you don't act.

So basically, I believe that by acting on your goals, whatever they are, you can influence the probability that they will occur. That's all it is... probability in a chaotic universe with unlimited variables; all of which is perceived as having an inevitable sort of order when it is sequenced with time.


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Jamesy
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23 Feb 2009, 3:08 pm

Thanks for the advice guys.