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Jamesy
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28 Apr 2009, 11:22 am

I have aspgergers syndrome and earlier today I was waking around my local pond on the way back from college, for the record as well I am 19. I walked passed this man with two bulldogs and the guy said to me in a deep voice "alright". I was kind of day dreaming and I mumbeld "hi" back to him. I then started walking on and I heard the man behind me shout back "I said are you alright" not sure if he was shouting at me or his dogs I turned around and the bloke then said to me "Yeah trying to be polite, making conversation". I then walked on and nothing happened after that.

This man looked to be in his 50's, he kind of looked like an army type guy. I was a bit shocked and rattled by his behaviour to be honest. I did feel like going over to the bloke and asking what the problem was but the guy looked a bit unstable to be honest. Is this a matter worth reporting to the police maybe? Also if I bump into this guy again around my local town what should I do?



Learning2Survive
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28 Apr 2009, 11:31 am

don't make eye contact
don't answer him
if you see him in the distance, turn around and don't close to him

he is a lonely, psychotic man - he might be dangerous, might be a junkie or alcoholic. you never know.


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makuranososhi
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28 Apr 2009, 11:49 am

Sorry, L2S - that is a worst-case scenario based on a lot of presumption. While that sort of mentality may allow one to 'play it safe' it also often leads to living in complete isolation.

You said you passed by him - did you physically run into him? Depending on where I am, people often will say things in passing while walking along the streets where I live or in the bigger cities. While cultural difference account for a lot of variance, that he solicited a response is not a sign of malice, psychosis, anger, etc. Why do you assume he had a problem? You said at the start you were distracted and daydreaming; might it be that he was concerned you were intoxicated or having troubles? I'm absolutely befuddled here.


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arielhawksquill
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28 Apr 2009, 11:58 am

Yeah, I'm befuddled, too. You want to report a guy to the police just because he asked if you were alright?



Jamesy
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28 Apr 2009, 12:02 pm

It was the tone he said it in. he actually said in a shouting kind of voice "Excuse me I said hello" when I had my back turned to him. Okay maybe he didn't hear me say hi to him when I walked passed him and thought I was being rude? I did not physically run into him either.



Acacia
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28 Apr 2009, 12:08 pm

Wow... I had a strikingly similar thing happen to me a few months ago. It really affected me badly at the time, and I had forgotten about it until now. But I guess it's good to process it now...

I was walking in the park, down by a lake, and around one side there was a guy with a dog.
The dog was not on a leash, and it started to run in my general direction, then turned and ran back to its owner. I walked away, trying to avoid crossing paths with this guy and his dog.

Strangely after-the-fact, the guy shouted from his relative distance, "He's fine! He won't bite!"
I said nothing and kept walking away.
Then the guy, in an offended tone of voice, continued to shout, "Hey! Nothing?! Not even a nod?"
I walked on, still saying nothing.
He persisted, "Do you speak English? What's wrong with you?!?"
And then, seeing that I would not respond to him, he said sarcastically, "Good luck with life, buddy!!"

I left as quickly as possible, rather shaken by this needless and stupid situation. I wanted to yell in his face, "DON'T SUBJECT ME TO YOUR IDIOTIC SOCIAL GAMES!! !"
I hate it when people do this kind of stuff. blah. :?


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Jamesy
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28 Apr 2009, 12:35 pm

I can relate to you man. I felt pissed off as well. I even said hi to the guy as well. Oh well you can never win with some people :?



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28 Apr 2009, 12:41 pm

Acacia wrote:
Wow... I had a strikingly similar thing happen to me a few months ago. It really affected me badly at the time, and I had forgotten about it until now. But I guess it's good to process it now...

I was walking in the park, down by a lake, and around one side there was a guy with a dog.
The dog was not on a leash, and it started to run in my general direction, then turned and ran back to its owner. I walked away, trying to avoid crossing paths with this guy and his dog.

Strangely after-the-fact, the guy shouted from his relative distance, "He's fine! He won't bite!"
I said nothing and kept walking away.
Then the guy, in an offended tone of voice, continued to shout, "Hey! Nothing?! Not even a nod?"
I walked on, still saying nothing.
He persisted, "Do you speak English? What's wrong with you?!?"
And then, seeing that I would not respond to him, he said sarcastically, "Good luck with life, buddy!!"

I left as quickly as possible, rather shaken by this needless and stupid situation. I wanted to yell in his face, "DON'T SUBJECT ME TO YOUR IDIOTIC SOCIAL GAMES!! !"
I hate it when people do this kind of stuff. blah. :?


Keep in mind; to him, you may have well appeared to be playing the game of avoidance.


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Acacia
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28 Apr 2009, 12:51 pm

makuranososhi wrote:
Keep in mind; to him, you may have well appeared to be playing the game of avoidance.

That I can understand. However, it was the distance and timing of the exchange that made no sense. I really was not anywhere near the guy. Certainly not close enough for a conversation, or even decent facial recongition. It seemed like he was going to great lengths to force some kind of reaction out of me, and I found that confusing and offensive.


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ZEGH8578
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28 Apr 2009, 1:13 pm

im glad im norwegian. scandinavians never randomly talk to strangers, ever. they even look frightened if you ask then the time and stuff :]


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28 Apr 2009, 1:14 pm

I got that kind of thing a lot when I lived in the city. I always try to respond and smile, but I sometimes can't get the words out, or I give a response that doesn't quite match the question, hahaha.;;; But if I smile while I do it, that seems to work the best. :3 I keep forgetting to ask "you?" after I answer. I think that would be best. "alright?" "yeah, you?" Like that.
Don't be intimidated, I think people are really just trying to be sociable, even if they're sort of scary when they do it. Usually they'll just seem pleased that they've encountered someone polite enough to answer in a friendly way.



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28 Apr 2009, 1:24 pm

Acacia wrote:
makuranososhi wrote:
Keep in mind; to him, you may have well appeared to be playing the game of avoidance.

That I can understand. However, it was the distance and timing of the exchange that made no sense. I really was not anywhere near the guy. Certainly not close enough for a conversation, or even decent facial recongition. It seemed like he was going to great lengths to force some kind of reaction out of me, and I found that confusing and offensive.
That's when you just shout back to him like you're his best friend, LOL. I think some people just look for a reaction because they're bored and it's hard to find polite people in the city.



Jamesy
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28 Apr 2009, 1:37 pm

Well becasue of my aspgergers i have been told sometimes that I can look pissed off without realising it. Maybe the guy I walked past thought I was pissed?

I don't live in a city myslef, I live in a medium sized town.



wigglyspider
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28 Apr 2009, 1:41 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Well becasue of my aspgergers i have been told sometimes that I can look pissed off without realising it. Maybe the guy I walked past thought I was pissed?

I don't live in a city myslef, I live in a medium sized town.


It happens everywhere, but I got it the most often in the city.

Well if you look pissed, then smile! Lift your eyebrows up for maximum friendliness. ;D



Jamesy
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28 Apr 2009, 2:55 pm

Well Wiggly spider in the almost 20 years I have lived on this planet nothing like this has happened to me before ever with a stranger.



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28 Apr 2009, 5:43 pm

Its hard to tell for sure, but it sounds like he could've been the self-appointed-guardian-of-the-neighborhood/area type; on the lookout for any 'shifty' or 'questionable' or 'not from the neighborhood' people to 'confront and question' and whatever else he feels like.

I think what he said was a sort of a probe to test 'what you are.' I think it's when people can't get a non-verbal read on someone; their passive sonar isn't giving them enough information, so they send out a 'ping' to get more data (a reaction).

(As much as I can see the sense of it, I still find it a bit invasive and annoying, though. Probably because there's usually some hostility and a guilty-until-proven-otherwise mindset about it.)

With people like that I usually look back and give strong eye contact and say "yep" in a flat sort of way. To try to communicate "not drunk, not a danger, and not interested in further interrogations from you, so, respectfully, back off & mind your own business."